I know it has been a while since I did one of these but better late than never so here goes. Of late I have been having lots of thought about poly and open relationship stuff and recently read a lot of different posts around the subject to this Trolling the Net is essentially a polyamory edition.
Processing Emotions about Polyamory by Brigit Writes
In this post Brigit talks about asking for orgasms, something I have thought on which I need to write about at some point, but also her feelings about polyamory and the disconnect when one partner is essentially poly in nature and the other is not. Something that truly resonates with me and again, more for me to write about soon.
“So what do you do, when one partner is truly “poly” at His roots and the other is truly “mono” at hers?
The big questions I have for myself is: Why is it so difficult for me to accept? Why am I willing to share His body but not His heart? What do I fear most?
Because, most assuredly, fear is at the center of this.”
Friendly Concern by Exposing 40
Exposing 40’s talks about her frustration with assumptions that are often made about her and her relationships, mostly notably that polyamory is something she accepts rather than actively participates in. It is most definitely an experience I have had, where people assume I am only consenting to it to keep Michael happy.
“The thing that bothers me most about the common narrative is that it is taking away women’s agency in non-monogamy. It is suggesting that women may be passively accepting something that is somehow second best. Do people really look at me and my life and my business and my travel habits and see a woman who is ‘settling’ for a life because that’s all she can get? Do they think I am lying when I say that I don’t want more than I have? I also hate the way it pitches women against each other. The subtext of people’s questions can be that women who are in a relationship with the same man see each other as enemies or a threat when in reality we are connected through a shared affection.”
On monogamous non monogamy By The Other Livvy
“Do you have other partners yourself?” A question that both Livvy and I hate. For slightly different reasons to be fair but still I can strongly relate to much of her experience with peoples questions and how they assume that because she doesn’t she isn’t really poly at all.
“But I hate to admit this as it completely shuts down conversations about polyamory. For those who don’t believe in it or who don’t understand it, this essentially answers their questions: I’m not really polyamorous, I’m just happy to let my husband fuck around.”
The Mono + Poly Bill of Rights and Responsibilities By Polyammering
I have read quite a bit of stuff on this blog lately and found lots of really thought provoking and useful stuff like this Mono + Poly Bill of Rights and Responsibilities. If you are considering opening up a relationship then I think having something like this would be really helpful or even of your are already poly then you might still find this a useful tool especially if one of you is poly and the other is not.
“Acknowledgment and validation can go a very long way in making a partner feel heard. But, the mono person in this example also has a responsibility to remember that it isn’t their partner’s role to protect you from ever having a bad day or a negative emotion again. If you have agreed to be part of an open relationship; then finding ways to deal with feelings of loneliness is part of your responsibility. Yes – you absolutely can and should share those feelings with your partner, but you should *not* expect your partner to cancel a date because you’re feeling lonely.”
#30DayOrgasmFun Part 4: Please Cum Again by Mx Nillin
There is plenty of reading to enjoy in this post but I am linking it here because the image makes me grin a rather wicked way because, well, it kind of features me and knowing that my work inspired such a response is one that I very much enjoy
Lie Here by Cara Thereon
Yes I took this image but I am sharing it here because I think it is beautiful, as is my model and it makes me happy to remember this particular adventure.
Friends by Focused and Filthy
I love this post about friends and opening up her relationship with her husband. Friends who you can get naked with are surely the best kind of friends.