Welcome back to another dabble around the sexiest parts of the internet in Trolling the Net #85. Yes I know it has been AGES since I did one of these. I have been struggling so much this year to not only finding the time physically but also mentally have time to read and gather my thoughts as a result. But I am determined to try and get back to some sort of version of me, hence doing Every Damn Day in June and bringing back Trolling the Net as part of that so here goes…
I want to start by highlighting this fabulous month long blogger meme run by Nillin to celebrate Pride. I am hoping to take part in the next week or so but there are already a whole host of amazing posts listed here that I have been busy reading through and I encourage you to do the same.
9 LGBTQ+ People Explain How They Love, Hate, And Understand The Word “Queer” by Alexander Cheves
Last year when I when I was doing a lot of work to figure out my sexuality and identity I did a lot of thinking but also a lot of reading and research into various terms and their meanings. I read a LOT about Queer identity and culture but this post was one that really stuck with me and I have read it a number of times. Recently there have been a number of discussions on Twitter about identifying as Queer and I thought of this post and decided it might be a useful read for folks.
“Queer” is not the first word of its kind to be reclaimed. But unlike others, “queer” seems poised to represent all of us. It’s a word charged with as many meanings, emotions, and historical perspectives as there are shades of LGBTQ+ identity. To come closer to understanding it, we sought nine perspectives from those who use it on what “queer” means to them.
This is a post that resonated so much with me. Whilst our experiences are not identical there are some really striking similarities between Violet and myself when it comes to identifying as bi-sexual. This part in particular absolutely mirrors my thoughts.
If being bi had seemed even a little bit legitimate, my life would have been completely different. When I was first looking at my sexuality, I didn’t have the language or support to define it, let alone understand that it was fluid and would change and mean different things to me with time.
I was originally going to share the first post but then Floss published the second one about hate and I spent about 30 minutes rereading both and trying to pick between them and then decided that it was not possible to do because they are both so important and this is my blog and I can list more then one piece by an author if I want.
The first post really struck a cord with me because I have definitely grappled with my Queer identity and wondered if I am ‘allowed’ to take on that identity. I know now I am but reading this piece helped a little bit more to grow my confidence.
It may be a small change, and it may be naive, but the more of us that can stand up and claim our queerness and refuse to be silent about who we are the better. So if you feel in your heart that you are queer, or perhaps you fall somewhere else on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and you think you are not ‘enough’, you are wrong, you are enough. If you feel it and you know it in your heart, you are enough and if you have to cycle through a bunch of labels to find the one that works for you, that doesn’t make your sexuality any less valid.
In the second post Floss deals with the subject of hate particularly in relation to the othering of people due to their differences. Whilst I had fairly liberal and very tolerant parents I know that I am also the product of a society and an upbringing that has given me prejudices that I have spent a long time examining and trying to unlearn. I have worked very hard to do this but I know I have more work to do. I think we all do.
I know I will have people either in my comments or muttering to themselves as they read this read to defend why they’re not racist, homophobic, transphobic, body-shaming, misogynistic, bigoted or any of the other awful things most of us don’t want to be. The truth is at some point many of us have been some of these things. I’ve done it myself, I know I have. I know that before I took the time to listen, learn and change my views I said things that were just awful.
Different Eyes by Ouizzi
It is so lovely to see Ouizzi back blogging again this year and her image game has been pretty fucking special. I had about 4 of her images that I wanted to show case but in the end I selected this one as my favourite from the last couple of months. There is something really raw and vulnerable about it. It is an image that I think would make a beautiful print to hang on the wall.
The Moment Before by Discovering Kink
This image makes me want to be tied and fucked. I don’t really have words to describe how much this shot turns me the fuck on. It just depicts something I am crave so very much right now. I have shared it with The Charmer and been back to look at it on more than one occasion.
Modestly Packed by Modesty Ablaze
Imposing, intimidating, arresting, demanding… this image is all these things and more and as a woman who is increasingly having thoughts of wearing a strap on it gives me some feels about that whole subject too.
My Favourite Escape by Love is a Fetish
I am a massive fan of Nikki’s photography. I think she has an amazing eye for an image and she often inspires me to reach for me own camera. I love the colours in this image and how subtle but suggestive it is.