A couple of months back someone left this question on my blog and I promised to write a post in response. Apologies to Melinda who left the comment as it has taken longer to get to this than I promised but hopefully better late than never counts.
So here goes…
How did you arrive at the decision, encourage and then watch your husband make love to another woman?
When I was a young teen the family opposite me had a daughter who was in her late teens. She had a boyfriend who would come and pick her up in his car. Sometimes when they got home in the late evening they would sit in his car making out. Just for context we lived in a tiny little road where cars had to go super slow to pass and rarely anyone walked down. I would sit at the end of my little bed and peek round the curtains and watch them. That is my first memory of watching someone have sex, although they only seemed to touch each other and kiss, but my 13ish year old self was fascinated and, not that I understood it at the time, VERY turned on.
The next time I can remember being turned on in a similar way was at university. I was living in a shared house with my boyfriend (who would later become my first husband) and one of the other lads who lived there had a girlfriend from home who would come to visit from time to time. To say she was a vocal lover would be an understatement. That girl could rattle the roof tiles. Her boyfriend always looked utterly disheveled but very pleased with himself when he emerged from the room to get food for them. My boyfriend used to moan about her, said it was unnecessary and annoying (yes that should have been an early clue to me but I missed it along with many others) but me, well I rather loved it. I didn’t know how to make myself orgasm back then (another story for another time) but I knew listening to her turned me on and made me want to have sex REALLY badly.
For many years my voyeuristic needs were met through porn. Although it was pre internet days and I had to rely on VHS tapes that my then husband would purchase from time to time. Mostly they were disappointing but every now and then there would be one that would work for me. However erotic fiction seemed to also work. I have a vivid imagination and so reading stories were easily transformed into images in my mind that I would get off too. Obviously I did eventually learn how to make myself orgasm too and that started a whole new activity; masturbating to the filth I read.
Then the internet changed everything. I discovered whole websites filled with dirty stories and then chat rooms and I learned for the first time that the things that turned me on were not actually that weird or unusual but that other people not only liked them, but in some cases had actually done some of those things. That was not the reason my marriage ended, there was lots of contributing factors but it was definitely a big one.
Then I met a man who really unleashed my inner slut. For the first time ever I had a partner who not only seemed to like that I was filthy but actively encouraged and enabled it. He introduced me to swinging. The first time we went to a club the deal had been that we wouldn’t actually do anything we would just watch. Remember this was all really new and unknown to me. Within 30 minutes of arriving we were fucking in the pool and I remember him teasing me about how unsure I had been and that I had taken it to it like a duck to water, or more accurately a filthy slut to water.
We didn’t play with anyone else on that occasion but I got my fill of him and certainly enjoyed watching other people and made him promise he would take me back again. We did go back again, lots. The first time I watched him with another woman was at that club. We had a foursome with another couple, later that day the woman would lock us both away in a private room and introduce me to the delights of being with another woman, but not before I watched my partner go down on her and then fuck her while her partner did the same to me. The whole thing was really fucking hot but the definitely the hottest part for me was when my partner leaned over and kissed me while he was inside her.
Eventually we had a threesome with another woman and it was then that I really realised how turned on I was by watching my partner with someone else. The whole kissing him while he fucked her or she sucked his cock was a massive turn on to me and I came so many times that night watching them together. Sadly that was the only threesome with another woman we managed but I often got to watch him with other women when we had foursomes or on two joyful occasions an mfmfm fivesome.
Sadly that relationship ended after about 7 months but it changed me forever because I had not only been able to explore my inner dirty slut but I had discovered that rather than it being a terrible shameful thing it was actually for many people a desirable thing and I also realised that I didn’t seem to have any issues with jealousy, certainly not sexual jealousy, where my partner was concerned.
Then along comes Michael and pretty changes everything again because by this stage in my life I had vowed I would never ever get married again no matter what and that I would never be in a monogamous relationship again. What I hadn’t bargained for was falling in love and to make it even more complicated falling in love with a man who lived across an ocean. Of course love wins, or it did in this case because we obvious got married and our relationship was what we called monogamish. By that we meant we were emotionally monogamous but where in very certain circumstances open to sexual activity with other people. Although ‘people’ really should say ‘women’ because Michael has very strong jealousy issues when it comes to me being with another man (another topic for another post)
Of course things were a bit different for me now. This was not a causal relationship but a committed one. This was my life partner and someone I loved very very much. Was it possible that this might change things for me? Could it be that the reason I was never jealous before was because I was not in love with him?
We had talked a lot about playing with other women. He was very encouraging of me exploring my bisexuality. More about that in this post if you’re interested: Changing Labels but we also talked a lot about sharing a woman and explored various fantasies that turned us both on the revolved around him being with another woman. When the opportunity presented itself to play with another woman we went for it. It didn’t involve him having sex with her but he did spank her and then held her while I went down on her and then later on she licked me while he fucked me. We had a really great time with her and she remains a friend to this day.
A while later another woman came into our lives. We called her our Significant Third. There was a very close friendship between the three of us but the physical stuff was all between Michael and her with me being an enthusiastic voyeur. It was this relationship that really cemented for me just how much watching him fuck another woman turns me on. I would lie in the bed next to them watching them fuck and rubbing my clit and it would make me orgasm multiple times, which is not a regular thing for me. We were both sad when that relationship ended.
There was a long gap (years) between that relationship and this one with Cara. When he mentioned that he really liked her I encouraged him send her a DM. I would regularly ask for updates on how they were getting on but I knew he was enjoying her company and that they were getting more and more involved. Michael has always said that he was not looking for another love and that he was not poly but I was fairly sure after a few months that he was in love with her too. I asked him about it but he said he didn’t know. This was new territory for both of us. After all it is one thing watching your husband fuck another woman but a whole different thing watching him love another woman. To be honest I had not really seen it coming and I needed time to consider how I felt about it. I love his love for me. It is something I have never had in my life before and I kind of always thought that is was maybe the one thing I would never want to share. However when I examined it my overwhelming feelings on the matter were that I felt happiness for him that he had found something special with someone.
So here we are. I love him. She loves him and he loves us both. As for the sex, I love sharing him. I love kissing him while she sucks his cock. I love it when he fingers me while she sucks him. I love hearing them together, I love it when we both snuggle up to him (he sleeps in the middle) and more than anything else I absolutely fucking love in an orgasm inducing kinda way watching him fuck her. The last time they fucked before Cara went home was on the sofa and I lay on the beanbag in the middle of the room and rubbed myself to a toe curling orgasm while he emptied his nuts inside her. Luckily it seems Cara enjoys being watched other this wouldn’t work at all.
So there you have it, from teen voyeur to cuckqueaning wife in one (rather long) blog post. You might also want to read this post Carpe Kitten that has all three of us answering various questions about the relationship and how it came about.
Any questions? (and seriously I mean this, ask me anything and I will do my best to answer them)