Finding Happy

by Molly Moore
Molly laying on bed looking at her phone and smiling for post about her word of the year that is happy

When I wrote this first prompt for my new meme I thought starting the year off year off with some sort of diary entry would be brilliant and yet here we are and I am finding myself wondering what the hell to write. Should I glance back at the year that was or look forward at what is to come? Or maybe just focus on the now, the today of things?

Oddly posing those questions seems to have given me an idea. See, sometimes just opening up a blank screen and starting to write can totally work

Looking back

2022 was quite a year. Michael and I regrouped, realigned and reconnected fully. It is a truly happy thing. I love being with him and he loves being with me. We just work. This year we have spent a lot of time finding out way forward rather than back. To who are together now as opposed to who once were. There have been some tricky moments where things have not aligned but as the year draw to a close it felt like we are really in tune with one another. We are in a happy place and that is truly a blessing.

The year held other changes, my daughter went to University. I am happy excited for her but I will be honest and say I miss her. I had a little part time job all through the autumn which was a huge change for me. What I thought was going to be a simple little gig turned out to be something much more complicated but also weirdly rewarding. I may write about it at some point as it gave me lots of thoughts about end of life experiences, love, and ultimately death.

2022 was also the year of reading for me. I read 89 books. I still can’t quite believe now. My goal had been 42 which was how many I read in 2021 with a stretch goal (yes corporate wanker speak) of 52. That would mean I read one book a week. Well turns out I can read way more than that without it completely taking over my life. I have loved it. I have read some truly great books (The Invisible Lives of Addie Larue, Verity, Femlandia, The Midnight Library, Milk Fed, The House on the Cerulean Sea to name just a few) and some stickers too. I realise that reading makes me happy but also reduces my anxiety and I sleep so much better too when I read before turning out the light rather than looking at my phone. Oh and I found a lovely group of book folks on Instagram and joined a online book group. The fun and friendship I have found there has been a lovely bonus to all this reading.

Into the future

2023 will be the year that Eroticon returns. I am excited but also daunted by that. It is a big project and with Covid still being something I am trying to avoid at all costs it will have its challenges. However June 10th and 11th 2023 in Camden, it’s happening. More on that on the Eroticon website later this week

Apart from that my thoughts for this year are, read more books because it makes you happy. Take more pictures, of me but also of others too, because it makes me happy. I am doing a Self Portrait 365 on Mastodon so come follow me there for a year of nude(ish) images of me. Hopefully that will make us both happy! Do Yoga every day, or as close to every day as I can managed, because it makes me happy. Spend time with Michael, continue to explore our life together including our kink D/s relationship, because it makes me happy. Have some sex adventures hopefully because it will make me happy but at this point in time I feel like this is something I need to explore and try out. There is a balance to be had between being safe from Covid and seeing people. I need to find it because, yes you guessed it, it will make me happy.

Today

It won’t come as a surprise to you that my word for 2023 is; Happy. I have never done that before, had a word for the year that I want to keep in mind for all things but just yesterday it popped into my mind when I saw other people talking about their word of the year. It can be so easy to get lost in the things that are not right. The world is mad at the moment and getting madder. Mostly my power to change that is small but I do what I can when I can. Life is not always perfect. There are stresses and things that make me anxious, things that I worry about even though I try not to and it can easy to let those things become big and overwhelming and over shadow all the things are good.

My aim for this year is to work really hard at finding the happy in every day. Whether that is waking up next to Michael or laughing with him about something silly or reading a good book or even reading a rubbish book. Doing Yoga, enjoying my record player, watching the bulbs bloom in the garden, welcoming the clocks changing, enjoying the sunset. it can so easy to miss the small things, to dismiss them as just every day or take them for granted rather than find the joy and happiness in them.

Also I am going to use ‘happy’ as a way to decide whether I do something or not. Will this thing, opportunity, whatever it is, make me happy? Obviously some of life you just have to do and you can’t pick the fun happy thing all the time. After all someone has to clean the toilet but when it comes to options centring happy in my decision making is important and something I have struggled with. Being raised the way I was, there was definitely the message that obligations and getting things done where the priority. Doing things for yourself is self indulgent etc. Being productive and always on the go was the ideal. Busy = person of worth. Also things must be done, perfect, a good day is one where you got things done. Yes sometimes that is true, there can be satisfaction in getting something done or achieving something but a good day can also be one where you laid in the garden and read a book, or spent the day in bed with your love or went out for dinner with your friend. In fact those things are far more likely to be the joy and happy in a day than getting everything on your to-do list finished.

Maybe the key is balance. Finding the right balance results in more happy. I don’t know for sure but I do know that doing things that makes me happy, being with the people that make me happy and focusing on what about my day and my life is happy is the key to not letting the noise of all the other nonsense of life steal away what all the amazing good bits.

So here is to 2023 and finding as much happy as I can in every single day.

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8 comments

Isabelle Lauren January 3, 2023 - 7:13 pm

I love your 2023 goals and I’m very excited about Eroticon. I am also going to try and read more and do yoga every day as I used to do that and I could really feel the difference when I stopped. I love the idea of having a word or theme for the year, am going to try and come up with one for myself as well.

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Violet Fawkes January 3, 2023 - 7:43 pm

Molly! Thanks so much for getting in on January Jumpstart, and for such a great post. Choosing Happy is a great way to start the year and I’m excited to see how your year goes! Also – what a stunning pic! xox

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Hyacinth January 3, 2023 - 8:16 pm

I love this! I have a word for 2023 and that’s something that’s new for me, too! I did an Intentions meditation with YogaGirl and it was amazing. I did it on the 2nd, but I don’t care. It helped bring me so much clarity in so many ways (it was $20 and I’m pretty sure you can still purchase it if you’re interested!). Anyway, I love you lots and I’m so happy to hear about you and Michael. I will look at my calendar for June. It’s be wonderful to be back at Eroticon with you ❤️. xx Hy

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Mrs Fever January 5, 2023 - 12:17 am

I will check out your new meme. 🙂

I read a lot in 2022 also! (And one of the books I read is one you listed — I don’t often experience that “me too!” feeling biblio-wise.) And I intend to continue the trend in 2023 because, like you, it makes me happy.

I’m not big on Jan 1 being The Start Of Things, so I’ve never gone about choosing a word/concept to focus on or setting goals in the new year. It works for a lot of people though (I remember Brigit Delaney used to write about her process with this), and “happy” seems like a great place to start. I wish you the best of luck with keeping happy this coming year.

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Molly Moore January 7, 2023 - 3:10 pm

Thank you lovely. xx

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The Year of Denial - Temperature's Rising January 6, 2023 - 4:25 am

[…] this first week of January is Dear Diary. I’m not much of a diarist, but taking a cue from Molly’s own take on the topic, I looked at the bit she wrote about her year-in-review and thought, “I might be able to do […]

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mywildlens January 7, 2023 - 1:52 pm

I think this is the perfect word for the year. I hope that you have many happy adventures.

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Bibulous January 8, 2023 - 6:17 pm

I love to hear you being so happy and wish you all the good things for 2023. The new meme is genius and I look forward to participating.
Bx

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