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Bottoming Out

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“I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that
No, I won’t do that” ~ Meatloaf

Whenever I think about rimming these fine lyrics by the fabulous wordsmith that is Meatloaf tend to spring to mind.

Now clearly I am not prepared to do anything for love, no one is, we all have personal boundaries and rightly so both when it comes to sex and also other areas too and that is both OK and a good thing. However I feel oddly conflicted about this one.

I think I am a fairly sexually liberated individual who is happy to experiment and try new things. Sometimes that results in me discovering something new about what I like or desire and sometimes I learn about things I absolutely don’t like or desire. Both completely valid outcomes but when it comes to rimming it is an activity that I just can’t bring myself to try. I am more than happy to suck cock, in fact I am an enthusiastic cock sucker, same with licking and sucking on balls and exploring that whole genital area with my tongue, I am even happy to find that little bit of soft skin, the perineum, right behind his nuts with my mouth but that is as far back as I go when it comes to my mouth. I am more than happy to finger a guy there, if he likes it obviously, but you are never going to find me performing oral delights on his anal delights. Oh and just to be clear this is not a boundary I only have with male partners, I feel exactly the same about female bum holes.

It gets more complicated though because I really don’t like receiving analingus either, not because it feels bad but because it makes me so fucking uncomfortable because in my head I turn it into a suggestion of something I should do for/to the other person in return. On the rare occasions that Michael has performed it on me I have really tried hard to just relax and enjoy it because in my rational brain I know he is not expecting it to suddenly change my mind on the subject and yet somewhere in that demon brain is a big old voice shouting ‘but you know he likes it having done to him’ and there dear readers is one of the few mismatches between us. He rather likes receiving analingus and we have kind of done it, in that I have got as close as I can with my tongue but he also knows that it is not something I enjoy doing. In fact, it is something I find really challenging and he understands that and yet that devil voice in my brain still makes me feel bad for not being able to get over my hang up about it and just do it.

I am not even totally sure why that is, it is not like I have ever had a negative experience in that regard but I guess societies message that bums are dirty has registered hard and strong in my brain somewhere and I don’t even think that. Bums and bum holes are lovely. I will happily touch, caress, finger etc a partners ass and I am a big fan of anal sex (receiving) but in the wise words of Meatloaf… I just won’t do that (with my mouth)

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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (2)

  • Mrs Fever

    Perfect quote for your topic – and now I have that song stuck in my head. πŸ˜›

    You bring up a good point about “expected” reciprocation. I wonder how many people experience that kind of anxiety sexually, generally speaking.

    In terms of “things I will do” and “things I will allow my partner to do” – almost all of them are on opposite ends of the spectrum (I rig, he gets bound; I tease & deny, he gives me multiple orgasms; I test his limits, he does not test my patience), so with things I’m not into giving, I don’t experience the kind of anxiousness you describe when I’m on the receiving end.

    Just thinking aloud. πŸ™‚

  • Bee

    I agree with you about society’s message. Whilst I am the other way around to you I found it really difficult to admit, especially out loud. Mine was one of those posts I just has to get out there quickly before I changed my mind.

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