If I Had A Million Dollars

by Molly Moore

19th September 2010

I know I have posted this song before but I was just listening to it whilst sitting here drinking my Stella and waiting for him to come home. It is Sunday night and I have had a lovely weekend doing absolutely nothing and spending as much time with him as is humanly possible, give or take a few hours when the internet and the wankers at Virgin Media fucked it up for us. I thought I would just have a bit of music for a moment before heading back to my bed and this song came on.

I am, all of a sudden, transported back to August and Philadelphia. We are watching the Bare Naked Ladies live in concert in the Susquehanna Bank Center on the banks of the Delaware. It is a beautiful hot summers evening and we have taken the ferry across the river to get to the venue. I am holding his hand and he pulls me close to him and kisses me.

The concert is not hugely attended but there are enough people to make a nice atmosphere, the show is brilliant, the band is just fabulous, they have a wonderful mix of funny entertainment and great music. I feel at peace here with him, surrounded by all these people but the only person I can feel is him, the only person who is there for me is him. For me, there is only him.

They play this song right at the end of the show, just when everyone thinks they are finished and gone they come back for one last number and the cheers go up when people hear what it is. I close my eyes now as it’s playing and I am back there. Standing in front of him, we are both singing along, I hope he can’t really hear me, I am a terribly singer. I feel his hands resting on my hips as I dance in front of him, grinding my arse back into his crotch I hear that little growl as I look back over my shoulder, looking up at him, smiling, singing, dancing.

I sit here now and I can feel the warmth of the evening, I can feel his hands on my hips, I can feel his breath on my neck and his kiss on my lips as the song finishes and I turn to face him. “Thank you Sir” I say. “Thank you for bringing me here, for such a perfectly wonderful evening”

On the ferry on the way home I cried, my head on his shoulder, little tears rolling down my cheek. They are tears of joy and also of fear that I know I will soon be parted from him again and that this feeling of being a whole person will once again be on hold until I can be back by his side.

I play this song now and I am nearly there, nearly by his side, it is soooo close I can almost touch it. The music fills the room around me and I am transported back to those precious moments. I am, for a brief moment, that whole person again. I wonder if he remembers it like I do, I wonder if it bought him as much joy as it did me and I wonder if he knows just how much this song now means to me. I wonder what we will do next time. I wonder if I had a million dollars if………


Ps…I realise I need to write some more of these little memory moments from August. They make me smile and I suspect they do the same for him. Watch this space!

Pps….Did you noice the spelling of Center, Sir? 🙂

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1 comment

Signs September 20, 2010 - 2:40 pm

I did indeed my love… and I’m so proud of you for finally learning how to spell Center properly 😀


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