So last week I wrote a very short post basically saying Michael was in hospital. I really did think at the time that this week things would be back to normal but that is not the case. Michael was much sicker than even I thought he was, and I knew he was pretty sick. So here we are a week on and he is still in hospital. Today, finally bought a small bit of good news which is that his inflammatory markers in his blood have finally started to drop which means for now the next course of treatment has been put on hold in the hope that this is the beginning of things really getting better. There is a very slim chance he might come home at the end of the week but most likely it will be next week sometime.
You never really think this stuff is going to happen and even last week I thought it would be a few days and he would be home. The reality has been a shock. It is terrifying how quickly someone can get really sick and to say I have been scared would be a fucking understatement. So far I have sailed on through this but the last day or so I have found myself flagging. I am so very fucking tired, like in that way when your eyes are sore and your head is fuzzy and you can feel your body constantly trying to drag you towards sleep. I had a wank this morning and struggled to get off the bed afterwards because I could feel sleep washing over me.
I also have quite a few blog post subjects that are niggling away in my brain that I want to write but I need a bit more time and a lot more clarity for that to happen. I feel a bit like my life has been on hold since before Eroticon and this has only extended that. I suspect that makes me sound like an awful selfish bitch, I definitely know I feel fairly guilty for having those feelings and just wanting to get my life back. It all feels like such a mess at the moment and I feel like an utter shithead for saying that.
So this blog post is basically a ramble through my brain right at this moment which as you can see is a bit chaotic and rather on the tired side. Yep, sexy as all hell I know.