Something sexy

by Molly Moore
Molly naked in long grass

What actually is sexy? The answer to this is different for everyone. What I find sexy is not necessarily what you find sexy and even those things that we agree on the nuanced details of them will probably be different. We might both find older men sexy but what it actually is about older men, those little details that make it hot for us, will probably be similar and also very different at the same time. Sexy is such a subjective thing but what about when it comes to being sexy? It is much easier to talk about what we find sexy, the stuff that turns us on than it is to talk about how we are sexy. I am sure most of you can write a list of some description that covers those things, even if some of them make you blush and squirm or might even be ‘guilty secrets/pleasures’ that you are not comfortable talking about.

But what about writing a list of what makes you sexy.  Not what makes you feel sexy but what is sexy about YOU?

I find myself sitting here really struggling with that. I can tell you that when I put on some great lingerie and high heels that makes me feel sexy. I can tell you that when I go to the gym and I can smell the scent of my body that makes me feel sexy. I can tell you that when I see the desire for me in his eyes I feel sexy, when I touch myself and my body responds I feel sexy but telling you what about me makes me sexy. I have no idea because me feeling sexy and me being sexy are two very different things.

I am sexy. That is a statement that I feel comfortable writing but it has taken me most of my adult life to get to that place where I can not only write those words but believe them but why I am sexy, well that is something that I am not sure I have the answer to apart from; I am sexy because I am me and most importantly of all because you are you. If you find me sexy then hurrah, and if you don’t, then that is OK too, just because I don’t tick your ‘sexy’ box does not mean I am not still sexy it just means that I am not what you find sexy.

I think what makes a person sexy is such an infinite thing that words are never going to be able to do it justice. It is so individual and utterly subjective that codifying it is impossible. What makes me sexy is the person that I am, all that I am, my personality, the way I look, how my brain works, my sexuality, my gender, etc but what really makes me sexy is finding someone who my particular brand of sexy works for. I am not sexy because he says I am sexy or because his belief that I am sexy transforms me into something sexy but my sexy does find its place in that person. Was I sexy when I was single? Yes, because I was me then just as I am me now but having someone who finds my sexy, sexy, makes me feel sexy and feeling sexy is the answer to ‘What makes me sexy?’

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Marie Rebelle April 22, 2015 - 9:33 pm

This is a very thought provoking post and obviously it instantly made me think of my own situation. Yes, there are times that I definitely feel sexy, but not at the moment. I need to find my sexy back, need to maybe think and remember what makes ME feel sexy!

Love this post!

Rebel xox

Molly Moore April 22, 2015 - 9:49 pm

I think you are absolutely right, taking time to remember what makes you feel sexy is really very important. I think just as we consider what things turn us on, I think maybe considering what make us feel sexy about ourselves is just as important, if not more so.

Misfiery April 23, 2015 - 12:47 am

I think this is such a thought-provoking post! Most times I get told Im cute or pretty when I want to hear that I’m sexy. I really struggled with feeling sexy after my hysterectomy and grasped onto anything and everything I could to manufacture that feeling of sexy. I think I’m more comfortable now and that translates into sexy for me.

Cammies on the Floor April 23, 2015 - 3:41 pm

Agreed. This is so thought provoking that I wrote up an entire post. I’ll post it on the 29th with a link back to this. Thank you for the inspiration and for creating a mindset that encourages positive thinking (which you have to do to properly answer this).
To think of solely our viewpoint, to state what “is” sexy and not state what “isn’t” sexy, requires a very structured, active, and conscious thought process that is a challenge to attain.

Velvet Rose April 24, 2015 - 12:03 am

Molly once again you have inspired me! Now I have to go and think about “me” and “sexy” and try and equate those within my current situations! (Marie and I are in very similar places at the moment!) There may be a post to follow!

Velvet x


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