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I have pondered the current Kink of the Week a great deal before writing this piece. The subject is Play Punishment also sometimes known as Funishment. My initial reaction was to say oh yes we do this. He spanks me, flogs me, canes me, the list is extensive of the kind of play that could well fall into this category but when I thought about it more I realised that, yes he does all those things, or should I say we, but rarely in the name of punishment play. It is either punishment or not.

Punishment, the real type, comes in the form of both physical chastisement but also verbal. He will express his disappointment as well as meter it out physically. It has a purpose, which is not about arousal. However most of our pain play is not about punishment or even funishment it is about the physical and mental journey we take together in those moments which ultimately fulfill our respective Dom/sub needs; his to give and mine to receive.

So do we do ever do Punishment Play? I think the answer to this is more about the words than the actions. For me punishment play is faux chastisement; in which the Dom picks on some perceived wrongs and hands out a punishment as a result. If we stick with that concept then the answer is no we don’t do this. It just doesn’t seem to be part of our dynamic. Nearly all our play is based on either real punishment or mutual satisfaction pain play.

However as I write this I also find that ‘real punishment’ falls into 2 categories for us. There is the punishment for big misdemeanours and then there is the retaliatory punishment for those moments when I feel the need the need to poke the bear.  These small, often brattesque, moments on my part will usually get me a swift and thorough response which serves to put me back in my place. Despite knowing that these actions rarely turn out as I wish them too I still find myself indulging in this type of behaviour from time to time. In my head I am looking for a few swats on my bum or a hand on my throat. It never quite turns out that way. Maybe it is that unpredictability that I am addicted to and it is this part of our dynamic and play that probably falls closest to being Play Punishment.

So, having written this piece my thoughts on Punishment Play are still slightly cloudy and I think that is about definitions. Play punishment to me seems to be closely related to a version of role play punishment and that is not something that seems to fit within our dynamic and yet I also know that my bratty nature is in some form or other essentially my part in our version of Play Punishment.

Peeking round castle walls erotic photography


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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (5)

  • luv2sex.info

    Let’s not call it punishment, just call it tough or rough love !

  • Malflic

    Interesting take on the topic. The common theme between our approaches seems to be the verbal banter.

  • Marie Rebelle

    “Nearly all our play is based on either real punishment or mutual satisfaction pain play.”

    That sums up very nicely what I tried to say in my post 🙂

    Love the photo, Molly!

    Rebel xox

  • Mia

    It’s a difficult one to define isn’t it!!

    Great picture!

    ~Mia~ xx

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