“A tattoo is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye. As a tattoo is grounded on living skin, so its essence emotes a poignancy unique to the mortal human condition.”
~ V. Vale
I had my first ever tattoo when I was in my late 30’s. I had spent all my adult life wanting one but a combination of not being brave enough and not really knowing what I wanted meant I never had it done. Until one day I did.
The result of that revelation was the M that is on my back. It has many associations, Mum, Mine, Michael (my partner at the time) but most importantly of all Molly. It was a really big act of claiming that name as mine and I have never once regretted getting it.
In fact I have never regretted any of the ink I have had done. Even the lock on my write that I got with Michael who has the key. There was a time when we split up where I thought about having a cover up done on it. Some of what it signified made me feel angry and sad back then but not any more. I am happy for all that we had. So very much of it was absolutely amazing and when I think back to the day we got those tattoos I smile at the memory. I wouldn’t want to get rid of that for anything. And in many ways Michael and I will always been linked together I think. It’s not like it was and it won’t ever be that again but it is good in a whole new way. What’s not to celebrate about that?
And then there is the tattoo on my arm. Which you can see very clearly in the image above. (Yes this image is from a few years ago when my hair was short) It is the moon and stars but look closely at the Moon and you will see there is a letter K in the moon. The meaning behind this one is that it is a slightly cryptic reference to my real name surname. It it not the name I was born with but the one I have ended up with. I very quickly got rid of my 1st married name. I never felt much affinity for it but this one, this one is me. I don’t think of it as my married name I think of it as mine and I have absolutely no plans to ever change my name again.
So what’s next?
I currently have plans for 4 different ones. One of them I have the design all picked out. The others I know what I want I just need to settle on exactly what design and the bit for me that I always struggle with; where on my body they should go. Once I know that then I am ready. Although the one other boring factor is money because I would probably sit down and have the all done in the space of a couple month if I had the money. However I have waited a long time to get my next one and I have decided that I am going to get it before the end of this year..
And feel that sting of needle against flesh and the rush of adrenalin flood my body in response.
The first tattoo I had was surprisingly painful right from the beginning. It is basically on my shoulder blade and very quickly the pain response in my body was so intense that I thought I was going to pass out. I broke out into a pouring sweat and the colour drained out of me. The artist was brilliant though. I felt like a idiot but he reassured me that it was totally normal and just to wait a bit and it would be fine. He was right. Well mostly right because actually it was more than fine. Once I had got over that initial adrenalin rush want resulted was a woozy high where I basically zoned out and floated on the pain through the rest of the tattoo to the extent that I was stunned when he told me it was done as it felt like only minutes had passed since we started up again.
I walked out of the place with not only with a tattoo but also with raging horn.
The second tattoo was the lock and even though it was small it still hurt but I was ready for it this time and more practised at challenging pain into a place of pleasure. That one gave me the horn too
The third one was kind of disappointing in the pain stakes as I genuinely didn’t feel a thing. In fact I was shocked when she told me it was all done as I had kept waiting for it to hurt and it just never happened. I still left there on a high though. I had really connected with the artist who did that one and she even encouraged me to take a Scavenger Hunt picture in the shop.
Having said all that I don’t think tattoo’s, either the getting of them or how they look afterwards are a particular kink of mine but I do love them and think they are both beautiful and fascinating. As the quote at the top of this piece they are works of art that completely unique to the individual who wears them. Even matching tattoos will look slightly different on each person and if you asked those two people to tell you the story of their that tattoo what they told you might essentially be the same story but also would be their individual telling of it. Tattoo’s are as unique as the person whose skin they adorn. Learning those stories, and telling my own. That is a beautiful thing to me.