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I have a lot of slutty desires many of which I have written about here and explored over the last 8 years or so but one particular area has been neglected, up until now…

Screen capture of tweet by Molly about having a supportive partner when it comes to her slutty desiresI wrote this tweet earlier this week before I even knew what the Wicked Wednesday prompt was; I am, because we are.

“Ubuntu (Zulu pronunciation: [ùɓúntʼù])[1] is a Nguni Bantu term meaning “humanity.” It is often translated as “I am because we are,” or “humanity towards others,” but is often used in a more philosophical sense to mean “the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity.”[2]” ~ Ubuntu philosophy 

Despite the fact that The Charmer and I have known each other for quite a number of years and been very close friends for a fair few of them this last year has seen that shift from friendship to partners and as a result we have talked a great deal about what we want that to look like and what our needs are when it comes to relationship. It has actually been a really interesting and thought-provoking exercise that has seen us both put a great deal of thought into the subject and resulted in really open and honest conversation about what is important to us and how we can always be the best partners to one another.

It is a conversation that is always ongoing and will continue to evolve with us as we evolve and that is actually the key to being good partners in my opinion; Continuing that conversation forever and learning to grow and adapt with one another along the way. Who we are today and who will be tomorrow, both as a couple and as individuals, is always changing. Embracing that and discovering those things together and supporting each other in whatever way we can is something we believe is fundamental us. Partnership is absolutely key.

One of the areas though where this has been absolutely amazing to me is his encouragement and support of me exploring with others. It is not something I have experienced before. In fact quite the opposite which lead me to having really complicated feelings about my slutty desires and attraction to other people. I learned to suppress it and actually found myself feeling guilty and even ashamed of it at times. It was not a good or healthy place to be in and whilst  I worked hard to try and change that dynamic within my previous relationship in a way that open and honest it didn’t really make any difference and whilst it was most definitely not the reason for our relationship ending it was one of the areas in which it was apparent we just couldn’t find common ground.

Finding that with The Charmer is something that makes me so very happy. Being able to freely express my desires and fantasies around that subject is so liberating and quite frankly hot as fuck to me and turns out is hot as fuck to him too. Not only is he comfortable sharing and letting me explore but he is actively engaging with me about it and in it. It doesn’t feel like something I am going off and doing on my own but something we share together. He is as much a participant as an observing that is truly like a dream come true for me.

I am definitely a person who thrives with a ‘partner in crime’. I like, maybe even need, to have a person and be someones person. It works for me but I also know I am attracted to other people and want to have the chance to explore that at times. The joy now is that not only do I have a person who is happy for me to do that they are along for the ride with me. They are turned on by it, they encourage and support me and recently it appears they are an actual enabler, reaching out to a potential person on my behalf. To be clear this is hot as fuck to me and something I encouraged and consented too. I am most definitely not chattel to be offered around… although actually having written that I know that consensually in the right circumstances, I would be totally up for that.

I feel like for the first time in a very long time I am able to really express my inner slutty desires without fear of upsetting anyone. It is taking some getting used to and I do keep finding myself double checking and even second guessing at times. Suppressing those parts of me so long meant those responses have become very ingrained and changing that is not something that is going to flip over night or even in the space of a few months but slowly I am gaining confidence and learning to trust in his responses to me.

I have long talked about how I would like to have another MFM threesomes and I have a myriad of fantasies that surround that dynamic. I like the idea of being shared, or being watched, and being offered to others. Being used is a huge kink for me and those fantasies definitely tap into that. To be honest I had in recent years started to believe that I would never get to experience that side of my slutty desires and it made me sad. Finding myself here with a partner who is not only supportive but actively engaged with my desires in this way me makes me so very happy.

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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (8)

  • Sexilicious Ash

    “I feel like for the first time in a very long time I am able to really express my inner slutty desires without fear of upsetting anyone. It is taking some getting used to and I do keep finding myself double checking and even second guessing at times. Suppressing those parts of me so long meant those responses have become very ingrained and changing that is not something that is going to flip over night or even in the space of a few months but slowly I am gaining confidence and learning to trust in his responses to me.”

    Wow, I can completely relate to this. For a long time, my husband was uncomfortable with me having desires for other men. He was very jealous and insecure about it. I had to hide those feelings and try to switch the slutty side of me off. It was awful. It was such a huge part of me and I just didn’t feel like myself.

    After much work within himself, he finally accepted that part of me. It took a lot of talking and working through his own insecurities but things are so much better now. I can finally talk about my desires for other men and he actually gets turned on by it now. He thinks it is hot that I am a slut instead of thinking it means that I don’t want him. I am so much happier now that I can fuck other people and then tell him about it in great detail. He gets so turned on and the sex we have after that is incredible. I’m so glad you have something like that now. I know how much it means.

  • Julie

    This is a beautiful post Molly and one I can identify with. Not because I want to actively explore other relationships or encounters, but because I know I can actively talk about it. When you have been badly burned, it feels important to tread carefully and to explore together what that relationship should look and feel like. It feels to me you are heading in just the right direction with the Charmer. xx

  • Marie Louise

    I think it’s really brave of you to pursue and explore your attraction towards other people, despite your suppression, guilt and shame, which all seem very natural responses as it’s often judged upon by society. I’m glad you get to explore this now!

  • Brigit Delaney

    I’m so glad you have found a person who makes you feel this way. I feel like you are so much like my Husband in your desire to be someone’s person and yet still be with others and have your lover along for the ride. I’m not very good at this for him, but hearing how you describe your needs makes me realize that this is exactly how he feels and what he needs from me. I’m just not sure how capable I am of giving it. Lots of food for thought.

  • Marie Rebelle

    It’s good to have a person in your life who understands all of who you are and supports you. There is nothing better than having this connection in one’s life, and I am happy you have found it, as I know how special it is.

    Rebel xox

  • Malflic

    I love you and am so happy to support and watch your explorations as you become the woman you truly want to be.

  • Monstrous Jaffa

    Oh, what a heartfelt post. No matter what else happens I hope you can continue to enjoy the freedom to express yourself so freely.

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