Keeping Order

by Molly Moore
Molly with Doxy being tied to her cunt

The current Kink of the Week topic is Chastity and Chastity devices and I have decided that this a kink that also fits into one of the 30 Days of Kink questions that I have so far failed to answer which is:

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand

My curiosity about this kink is not related to a desire to learn about it for me but purely in an attempt to understand what about it does work for other people because it is one that I just don’t get.

It seems to be a very popular kink for submissive/bottom men. I get that it is about control and denial but it is a step further into that world than I would ever be interested in taking. I have seen some amazing images of men wearing chastity devices and whilst I can appreciate the beauty of those images, the contrast between the strong male form and restrictive chastity device, they don’t actually do anything for me sexually but think that some of the reason for that is that the idea of me wearing a chastity device also leaves me cold.

We have definitely played around with orgasm control and denial but as I have written before it is a kink that has limited appeal for me and if not managed well will just make me grumpy and resentful. Being denied an orgasm in the moment can be hot. Him fucking me purely for his pleasure with no thought to mine is a turn on to me, but if that was to continue over a longer period of time? Nope, that just won’t work for me; it will make me want to rear up and bite your face off and it certainly won’t inspire submissive feelings in me. If making me go without orgasms for an extended period was a big kink for Michael there is absolutely no way we would be together now. Likewise edging doesn’t work for me either. My orgasms are not always easy to come by (excuse the pun) things have to be just right for them to happen, if you interfere with that my constantly stopping and starting all that will happen is that the chances of me actually orgasming will decrease with each failed attempt. This does not a happy Molly make!

When I was doing the research to write the prompt for this kink I did look into chastity devices for women to see if maybe they might spark my interest. They are definitely around but in my experience chastity devices for men seem to dominate the market and think that maybe some of that is because they definitely have a greater visual impact than those for women which often seem to look like a strapon harness or else some slightly odd old-fashioned undergarment. Clearly there are obvious anatomical reasons for this. The same is true when it comes to their practicality. It is perfectly possible to make a chastity device for a man that still allows him to wash and go to the toilet without any problems. Not so much when it comes to the female anatomy.

When I read about men who have been caged/locked up for weeks, sometimes months in a row I have to admit I just don’t get it. I love fucking, I love penetration and I love orgasms. Being denied that for any length of time just isn’t sexy for me so I find it really difficult to get my head around what about it works for other people. How can not having an orgasm for an extended period of time make you feel hot and sexy? I am a firm believer in ‘your kink is not my kink but your kink is OK’ and this one definitely falls into that group. If this is your thing then good for you, I know I have kinks that many other people don’t get but this is definitely one that I can’t see to get my head around. I will enjoying reading the other posts about this kink though, especially from those who are into it because I find it fascinating learning how and why something that just does not do it for me, works for someone else.

I am always loathed to say never but I really think this is a kink that is never going to appeal to me. I like my cunt, I like being able to touch it and see it. I rarely wear knickers and my favourite thing about the summer is that I can wear skirts and dresses with no undies. Having to wear some sort of device that restricted my access to my beautiful cunt would just not work for me and then add into that the orgasm denial aspect of this kink and it turns into an even bigger negative for me. I want to fuck, I want to be fucked, I want to orgasm as often as, well, I need to. In fact I think that is the big stumbling point for me when it comes to this kink. I don’t want those things, I need them. They are a core part of sexuality, there is never enough of them in my opinion (yes I think sometimes that puts a lot of pressure on Michael to fulfill those needs but that is another post for another time) For me there is nothing sexy about giving the up or being denied them. Maybe it harks back to years of feeling denied within a relationship that the only emotion it inspires in me is resentment and anger, or maybe I am just a dirty filthy bitch who as Michael often says himself, needs regular fucking and orgasms in order to be, well, kept in order!

Molly with Doxy being tied to her cuntKink of the Week badgeWicked Wednesday badge

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SkinShallows November 29, 2016 - 12:24 am

I really enjoyed this – maybe because my only ever trip to the submission side of the kinky river kinda crashed on the reef of denial πŸ˜‰ And I think partially for the reasons similar to yours. Delay, edging and frustration don’t make my orgasm any more intense or better, just the opposite, even when self imposed.

As to using a device on a sub (or denial in general) I started typing my thoughts but it got too much so I’ll probably turn it into a short blog post .

Lurv Spanking November 29, 2016 - 5:48 pm

I completely agree. I understand edging but to lock away your sexuality? Ain’t happening.

Marie Rebelle November 30, 2016 - 9:10 am

I have always wondered about chastity devices and it’s one of those things I will have to experience first to know if I really like it or not. But, what appeals to me more, like I have said in my post, is to have my piercings locked together to say ‘no access’. It’s more the psychological part of it that appeals to me, than anything else. Feeling like he controls who enters me and who not, even though I don’t have to be locked for it. There’s just something that appeals to me greatly…

Rebel xox

Livvy Libertine November 30, 2016 - 4:07 pm

I’m with you on this one. I’ve never quite understood what made this so appealing. My partner tried denying me for a span of less than 2 days once and I was CRANKY! lol

Simina December 2, 2016 - 7:42 am

I never understood chastity. Definitely not from the female perspective. Female chastity devices just sound completely unsanitary as a long term thing. At least male devices allow for bathroom use without interfering with everything. I can’t get over the image of having to piss through a chastity belt. It will never be my thing.

Bee December 3, 2016 - 4:06 pm

I’m on the fence with this one. I love the idea of using one as a short term tease and denial thing but long term just doesn’t work for me. Orgasms, which are sadly becoming rarer for me anyway, are something I need. The grumpies and tears are something I could do without and no sexual release at all would make me resentful too.

Dan December 15, 2016 - 11:38 pm

I am just interested in if you woman consider yourselves as “submissives”and if so, what does that mean to you in terms of obeying and pleasing your Dominate ?
Thank you

Molly Moore December 17, 2016 - 11:08 pm

If you read more of my blog you will see that I definitely identify as submissive within our relationship. As for what that means, that is quite a complex answer depending on what things you are talking about. We have negotiated an inequality in our relationship because like it that way. At the end of the day, he is the dominate and his word is finally but as I said, it is more complex than that.



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