5 years ago I wrote about face slapping for Kink of the Week. Now the topic has come round again I went back and looked at what I had written to see if my thoughts had changed. The short answer to that is no
When I started discovering my kinky self there were lots of things that I had never experienced. Some of them I was fairly sure were going to work for me like collars, some of them I was curious about and some of them I had never really considered but was game to give them a go, and then there were the things I knew I didn’t want. Face slapping fell somewhere between the, curious about and not really considered group.
I had never been a fan of it when I had seen it in porn, that feeling has actually only got worse over the years. I think experiencing it and discovering that I hated it has turned me off to it completely and if it crops up in porn that I am watching I will instantly switch away and look for something else.
However, I am jumping ahead. Having not experienced it I was mainly indifferent to it. When we first got together I filled out a BDSM checklist that Michael had found online and adapted. From that we had many conversations about some of the things on there, exploring them together whilst on Skype, sharing thoughts and stories and sometimes even porn we had found that turned us on. Face slapping was definitely one of those subjects and I was fairly clear about the fact that I didn’t know how I felt about it and on the checklist I had ticked it as unknown/curious about.
I can’t remember the first time he did it. I know it was when I was sucking him and it was really only a light tap on my cheek but my instant reaction was a mixture of anger and also an odd sense of vulnerability that made me very uncomfortable. We talked about it a bit afterwards but it still wasn’t consigned to the hard list but it didn’t take long for that to change. I think it was the 2nd or maybe 3rd time he did it that I actually stopped what I was doing and asked him not to do it any more as it made me want to hurt him back. That was the last time he ever slapped my face.
Even to this day I don’t really know what it is about it that makes react like that but I just don’t like it. I totally get that for some people the shock of it or the humiliation factor of it is a turn on. I can actually totally understand how that can be the case. I guess for me I am just not wired that way when it comes to face slapping. It makes me want to recoil, there is an aggression and violence to it that almost scares me and not in a way that turns me on but in a way that makes me want to tell you to fuck right off. It is like a large bucket of cold water being poured on my arousal.
However there was no way to know for sure without trying it and there have definitely been kinks on my list that I was fairly sure I didn’t ever want which I have discovered are big turns on for me, being made to bleed is one of them as is medical staples. Back when we first completed the list those things were pretty close to soft limits for me and now they are on my ‘yes please’ list of things, unlike face slapping which is firmly on my hard limits list. One of the things I have learned from being kinky is that sometimes your body surprises you and that things you think you might enjoy actually leave you cold whilst things you think are not for you turn out to be the hottest things ever. Finding out those things have been an amazing wild ride into my sexual desires and his and after 8+ years I love that we are still exploring together, just not face slapping, thank you very much.