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A Real Slap in the Face

One of mOlly's eyes looking out from behind a mans hand

5 years ago I wrote about face slapping for Kink of the Week. Now the topic has come round again I went back and looked at what I had written to see if my thoughts had changed. The short answer to that is no

When I started discovering my kinky self there were lots of things that I had never experienced. Some of them I was fairly sure were going to work for me like collars, some of them I was curious about and some of them I had never really considered but was game to give them a go, and then there were the things I knew I didn’t want. Face slapping fell somewhere between the, curious about and not really considered group.

I had never been a fan of it when I had seen it in porn, that feeling has actually only got worse over the years. I think experiencing it and discovering that I hated it has turned me off to it completely and if it crops up in porn that I am watching I will instantly switch away and look for something else.

However, I am jumping ahead. Having not experienced it I was mainly indifferent to it. When we first got together I filled out a BDSM checklist that Michael had found online and adapted. From that we had many conversations about some of the things on there, exploring them together whilst on Skype, sharing thoughts and stories and sometimes even porn we had found that turned us on. Face slapping was definitely one of those subjects and I was fairly clear about the fact that I didn’t know how I felt about it and on the checklist I had ticked it as unknown/curious about.

I can’t remember the first time he did it. I know it was when I was sucking him and it was really only a light tap on my cheek but my instant reaction was a mixture of anger and also an odd sense of vulnerability that made me very uncomfortable. We talked about it a bit afterwards but it still wasn’t consigned to the hard list but it didn’t take long for that to change. I think it was the 2nd or maybe 3rd time he did it that I actually stopped what I was doing and asked him not to do it any more as it made me want to hurt him back. That was the last time he ever slapped my face.

Even to this day I don’t really know what it is about it that makes react like that but I just don’t like it. I totally get that for some people the shock of it or the humiliation factor of it is a turn on. I can actually totally understand how that can be the case. I guess for me I am just not wired that way when it comes to face slapping. It makes me want to recoil, there is an aggression and violence to it that almost scares me and not in a way that turns me on but in a way that makes me want to tell you to fuck right off. It is like a large bucket of cold water being poured on my arousal.

However there was no way to know for sure without trying it and there have definitely been kinks on my list that I was fairly sure I didn’t ever want which I have discovered are big turns on for me, being made to bleed is one of them as is medical staples. Back when we first completed the list those things were pretty close to soft limits for me and now they are on my ‘yes please’ list of things, unlike face slapping which is firmly on my hard limits list. One of the things I have learned from being kinky is that sometimes your body surprises you and that things you think you might enjoy actually leave you cold whilst things you think are not for you turn out to be the hottest things ever. Finding out those things have been an amazing wild ride into my sexual desires and his and after 8+ years I love that we are still exploring together, just not face slapping, thank you very much.

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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (11)

  • Silver Eagle

    Like you, I thought it would make me uncomfortable, but unlike you, I found it to be a turn-on. He’s only used it sparingly (I don’t think I’d like it all the time). It’s a jolt and every submissive fiber in me responds to it as a proof of domination.

  • May More

    I didn’t realise this was also KOTW and will write a post about it as its something that also is a turn on with me but the circumstances need to be right – I totally can see your point- and one that has been reached once you had experienced it. I thought I would be the same until it happened and then I questioned all sorts of things wondering why I found it ok x

  • Maitre

    Totally not a fan – but each to their own. Like you, when I see it in porn it makes me stop watching and look for something better. No problem with those folks find it their ultimate turn on.

  • Modesty Ablaze

    You are right when you say that sometimes our body surprises us . . . but I am absolutely certain that I could not even contemplate, nor allow, my face to be slapped.

    Definitely a hard-limit for me !!!

    Xxx – K

  • Hislordship

    From a Dom’s perspective I find the head to be an impact free zone. It just doesn’t sit right as it borders abuse for me far more that a round buttock! In reverse I think that being slapped across the face would spark an instant negative response in me, possibly one of defence. Give me a some soft and round every time to slap!

  • Kayla Lords

    I have other things (like spitting on a cock or cunt) that make me have to instantly turn away from porn so on a certain level I completely get it. I’m on the other end of the spectrum of loving face slapping and seeing that it was the topic this week made me (literally, and you know I do this) squee, lol.

    But I also think that what’s most important is that you tried it, didn’t like it, and that boundary has always been respected. Fill in the blank with any kink or thing we can do, and that’s the outcome we should all receive. 🙂

  • Indie

    Yep hard list for me too. Comes too close DV for my liking. Slap my arse by all means, pull my hair but leave my face alone…
    Indie

  • Marie Rebelle

    I think this is a really good idea, going back to the post you have written before to see whether what you have written has changed. I have once experienced face-slapping in a positive (kinky) way and too many times in the worst way ever. But I think I will go back to my previous post too…

    Rebel xox

  • missy

    This is an interesting one and not something we have really tried so I can’t say one way or another. Although I do see above in the comments that HL is not into the thought of it so it seems unlikely I will ever really know. I cannot imagine it would be my thing but as you so rightly say, our bodies can surprise us.

  • Fondles

    I never thought we would add it to our repertoire as it always scared me and filled me with anger when I saw it in videos. Until the one clip showed the couple engaging in it in almost a tender way.

    Thats when the talking started and after the first tentative tap on my cheek i was sold! Good idea to read old posts to check on how our reactions may or may not have changed over time.

    This is my first time joining in KOTW thanks to Mrs Fever’s encouragement. And i’m glad i did!

  • Bee

    I have a sneaking suspicion I may feel the same way in reality but it’s something I find hot in fantasy and for that reason I won’t rule it out until I tried. However, if you see ‘im indoors needing a new set of teeth you know it didn’t work out ;-D

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