A week or so ago @Domsigns wrote a piece on This D/s Life about people’s individual kink limits and respecting other people’s kinks even when they are not your own. He invited readers to share their thoughts on kinks that for them were ‘a touch too much‘. The responses were fairly varied and interesting, although Scat is the one kink that is mentioned multiple times but it got me thinking about my own limits and then Rebel posted this week’s prompt and it seemed like the perfect invitation to write something on this subject.
I looked back at my hard limits list that I blogged about in 2011, What are your hard limits? to see if maybe there was anything on that list which I had changed my mind about. I can safely say there is not. They are all still firmly on my hard limits lists so what, if anything has changed?
Before I continue I want to take clear that I completely support the statement, Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is Ok (YKINMKBYKIOK), just because I don’t get your kink or your kink does not only not turn me on but actually squicks me out, that does not mean that I sit in judgement of you for liking it. As long as your kink is fully consensual and all parties are risk aware then go forth and be kinky, I just might have to look away while you are doing it.
So, back to my question, what has changed about my hard limits list?
Well there are some things that I find very difficult to see, they are not my hard limits list because they are not something I would have associated with our dynamic and my submission but I find seeing images or even at clubs actual play that involves extreme CBT (cock and ball torture) very challenging.
However I have also discovered that I feel the same about extreme female genital torture. Needle, staples, extreme impact play (on genitals) all makes me cross my legs and not in a good way. I like things rough, fingers, cocks, mouths even but beyond that and we are into hard limits territory for me.
I like anal sex and I like anal play but I do not like anal stretching or gaping and I find that when I look for anal porn in Tumblr because I like that and it gets me off, there is way too much of the extreme violent arse fucking that just leaves me cold as well as an increasing amount of images that show prolapsed bowls which burns my eyes and have me scrolling past very very fast because wow does that completely freak me out.
Tumblr is also a culprit when it comes to one that I will definitely be adding to my own personal list. Not because @domsigns is not aware of it but just because I feel so strongly about it that I want to make sure that I have been completely clear about the matter and that is face slapping. I have always known it was not really my thing but as time as gone on that has changed from, ‘not really my thing’, to ‘don’t ever slap my face’. I have had it done to me, not in an extreme way, on a couple of occasions and both times it left me feeling cold but seeing it done to other people made me realise just how much I hate it. I don’t even really know why, there is just something about the violence of it that I find difficult and when I have seen it being done at events we have been attended I instinctively turn my face away because I just can’t bear seeing it. It makes me so uncomfortable. I also think there is something about it that pokes at humiliation for me which is also something I tend not to like. Likewise Tumblr is a minefield when it comes to this kink. I like to peruse Tumblr now and then for some filth to enjoy. Those little short gifs, if they are just right, tend to work for me, and I will find one that just shows a little snippet of something I find hot (a cock being slowly pushed into an arse is one perfect example…. but it has to be slowly/gently and I will happily watch that and get off on it). Sadly a little snippet of something will often catch my eye and I will click on it to see the rest and then bam, he slaps her face, and it is like someone just pissed all over my horn. I can’t tell you how many times that’s occurred. It seems to endemic on Tumblr, even in gifs that are not marked as rough sex a face slap will often appear, especially when blow jobs are part of the scene. As I said, YKINMYBYKIOK but if there is going to be any face slapping then I am definitely not only not going to be playing I am also not going to be watching.
For me, face slapping, is definitely a touch too much.
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