Hold me down

The first set of cuffs we had got thrown in the bin after the stitching which held the loop for the carabineers tore. They were replaced with a much better set that was better suited to the job of restraining me while I struggled.

Whenever he puts any type of restraint on me, be it rope or cuffs, my first reaction is always to test them. I will put and twist and tug searching for any weakness. If they are cuffs I will see if I can slip my wrists out of them. On that note it took a very long time for us to find a pair of metal cuffs small enough to stop me doing this. I have tiny wrists.

I need to know there are no get out options. I need to know I have no choice. I want to know I have no choice because that turns me on.

Sometimes I will fight when it comes to being restrained and sometimes I will sit nice and quietly while he puts the cuffs on or ties the rope but at some point there will be a struggle as I fight against my bonds. Which is why I always test them, just to make sure they are really going to do what he wants them to do and what I need them to do which is hold me, tight and unyielding. Sometimes that fight will be short, just enough for my brain to register the predicament I am in and other times it will go on longer making my arms and wrists ache with the exertion before eventually I will give up exhausted, defeated and so very content.

However where struggling really works for me is not when it up against restraints but when it is up against him. Fighting him is a huge turn on for me. I completely get off on being overpowered by him in fact it is a key part of my submissive kink. If I thought for a moment that was not the case then I think that could potentially break our D/s dynamic. I don’t need it all the time but I do need to know it is there. I know that sometimes I need to know it is there so much that I will go looking for it. Purposely pulling away when he tries to kiss me, refusing to cooperate when he wants to put on cuff or rope, clamping my legs tight shut when he tries to touch my cunt. None of these things are me saying no, all of these things are me saying, fucking make me.

I need that strength and power from him and I really need to push up against it, test it, feel it, and know it is true and real. Mentally it is very centering and comforting to me to feel that resistance from him and being physically overwhelmed is a huge fucking turn on to me.

The other day he pulled back the bed covers forced my legs apart and pushed his fingers into me, with the other hand he literally pinned me to my bed, first my pushing down into my chest and then by holding me down around the neck. As his fingers pushed in and out of my I found myself pushing up into his hand on my chest, asking for more, needing more. And he gave it to me, the closer I got to coming the firmer he pinned me down until eventually my cunt spasmed in orgasm around his fingers. Afterwards he wiped his fingers on my face and showed them in my mouth as he fucked me, I twisted and turned beneath him struggling against his strength and loving every moment of it. Afterwards I lay breathless and aching next to him, the struggle was over and it had taken both of us to a place of intimate pleasure and satisfaction because just as I get off on resisting he gets off on showing me that resistance is futile.