Hot Mess

by Molly Moore
Head of the Ollala dildo

I was recently contacted by Ollala about their product. After exchanging some emails with the person I believe to be the owner in which I tried to give him some advice about his website, both the design and functionality of it and the wording within, he offered to send me one of his products. I tell all the companies who ask this that they are welcome to but that I do not guarantee I will write about it. I only tend to do a review if I either A. Hate it or B. Love it. He decided to take his chance I guess and asked for my address.

So some things before you watch the video.

  1. They are claiming they have made the first/only heated dildo. They are wrong about that the L’amourose Rosa Rouge beat them too it and you can see my review of that here; A Rosa by any Other Name
  2. I have not tested this toy as an actual dildo mainly because of the plug of silicone used to seal the seam on the head of the product does not feel hygienic and there is no way I am sticking it inside my body.
  3. I have taken picture of this part of the dildo because on the video you can not see it clearly but the images below show it better. Please also note that in the second image you can clearly see where the silicone appears to splitting. Just to be clear that little plug is slightly sticky which I think you can also see from in the first image as it is already got dust and dirt caught in it.
  4. When I asked Ollala about these problems they told me that they had sent me ‘a pattern version’ of the toy by which I think they mean a prototype and that the actual product for sale in their site does not have these problems. I have pointed out to him that this seems like a mistake and I have no choice but to include it in my review because I have nothing else to go on. He has never replied to that email.
  5. The middle section of the video where I mention massaging it to make it soft again. I was wrong about that. The only way to make it soft again is by heating it.

Image 1

Head of the Ollala dildoImage 2

Ollala dildo head

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Lea November 19, 2016 - 3:03 pm

60 minutes in the microwave?!

I have a needle phobia and opening a package like that would be a big FUCK NO to me. Plus, what actually is in the needle and what would happen should those chemicals get into my body?


Molly Moore November 19, 2016 - 4:26 pm

Hi Lea

There is nothing in the needle it is just a normal syringe but the metal reacts with the substance inside the dildo to cause the chemical reaction that creates the heat and hardness.


Dangerous Lilly November 19, 2016 - 3:30 pm

Thoughts so far as I watch:

1. Wow. No flared base.
2. This seems to be the same principle as these “reusable warming pack” things on the market, which are filled with a liquid and have a metal disc inside. You bend the metal disc and it immediately sets off a reaction that warms the stuff but also hardens it and then to melt it, you must microwave it.
3. You don’t seem overly impressed with the warming. For me, the Rosa Rouge gets warm enough that I can feel its warmth on my vulva but I don’t notice any warmth vaginally. I suspect the same would be true for this Frankenstein dildo – it would have to be really really warm in your hand to feel warm vaginally.
4. 7:44 – yes, that is exactly what it sounds like, those heat pack. You should see my face. This is the most unsexy dildo, ever.
5. 10:12 – YEP. Now utterly convinced. He took apart a reusable hot pack and put it in silicone. This material would have to be silicone, you couldn’t get away with making PVC or rubber this hot, I think. So there’s that.

His website. Oh jebus. about 15 of us reviewers checked it out at the same time and went it utter hysterics. It’s offensive, it’s disgusting, it’s a fucking shit show. Also, SIR IF YOU ARE READING THIS: You insulted someone who probably gave you invaluable advice, and clearly don’t know much about this industry. Please take several seats, and listen to the feedback you’re given. IN FACT! It would be best for all if you closed up shop now. Just….no.

Molly Moore November 19, 2016 - 4:23 pm

Hi Lilly

Yes you are right about the heating element it is Sodium Acetate. Inserting the needle starts the chemical reaction. It does actually get remarkably hot. After about 20 mins. So yes I would say it is hotter than the Rosa Rouge but you have to wait for it. As I have not put is anywhere near my bits I can’t comment if you could feel the heat internally but I suspect that it might be possible.

As I said in the review he did say he sent me a prototype but as that is all I have that is what I have reviewed. Maybe that plug of silicone in the end is not there on the actual product but I don’t know so I have to assume it is


Ishkireu November 19, 2016 - 3:48 pm

Oh my, the site is really really terrible! I’m speechless.

Rae // theNotice November 19, 2016 - 5:56 pm

Oh good lord, this is HORRIFYING. Sticky plugs? Prodding with needles? Salt and burn that shit.

More than anything, though, I’m concerned with how hot this dildo gets. The guy who designed it clearly doesn’t know what he was doing, and it’s surprisingly easy to burn your vulva (or, presumably, your vagina.) With no controls or digitally-set temperature like in the Rosa, how the hell are users supposed to trust this disaster not to literally burn us from the inside??

Molly Moore November 19, 2016 - 10:28 pm

The hottest it got was in the microwave when I was resetting it so you not actually use it then. The rest of the time it did get fairly warm but I don’t think warm enough to do any harm


Julie November 19, 2016 - 6:06 pm

Truly amazing, and not in a good way. Definitely not something to be pushed into any human orifice!

Rayne Millaray November 21, 2016 - 3:44 pm

Prototype or not, no effing way would I put that inside me. Not at all interested in a warming dildo that I have to stick with needles.

Ashamed to admit that I don’t think I’ve ever watched one of your videos. Your voice and accent are darling.

FieryRed January 13, 2017 - 8:15 am

“First of all, just no – this is all the no.” LOVE AND AGREE with this line.


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