15th February 2012
Yet again I have excelled myself. On our recent trip to the London Alternative Market I set about trying to find a valentine present for Sir. After spending ages trying out various different leather straps and paddles on myself I narrowed it down to 2 potential purchases. In the end in my usual decisive mode I was unable to make a choice but, I might be indecisive but I can negotiate a deal out of anyone and so I came away with 2 beautiful but very different leather straps for the bargain price of £40 (They were each priced at £25). So far so good right? Well yes but also no…
Like many gifts I have bought for him before when actually picking them out and purchasing them it all seems like a good idea yet when suddenly faced with the thought of him using them on me I start to wonder what on earth I was thinking buying them in the first place. It is all very well trying them out on myself whilst wearing a pair of jeans but I know in his hands they will feel very different and the only way my jeans will feature in their use is round my ankles to stop me from getting away.
However they were bought now and the best way forward was to hide them in the bottom of my draw and forget all about them, until yesterday that is, when I got them out and presented him with them.
A broad smile light up his face as he eased them out of the bag. Laying there in bed he turned them over in his hands, feeling the leather, trying out the grips on the handles and finally taking a few experimental strikes on the bed covers before turning to me and saying “What time are the children going out?”
With a nonchalant air I replied something about the afternoon and slipped from the bed and padded across the landing to the bathroom but it was all an act really as all I could think about was the noise of them as they travelled through the air and landed with a thud on the bed covers. I wonder what noise they would make on my skin. Would it be a stinging slap or more of a dull thud or maybe somewhere between the two and most importantly how many hours would it be until I got to find out.
Unfortunately we didn’t have quite as much child free time as we thought we would but enough to know that yet again I had managed to buy him a gift, or this occasion 2 gifts, that he is utterly delighted with and as a result I can barely sit down….
If you want to know what he got me, they were words. Perfect words… Only Words
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