Anticipation of pleasure is, in itself, a very considerable pleasure. ~ David Hume
There are the big obvious things. Counting down the days to a holiday or a birthday. Maybe it is party or Christmas or even that little buzz of excitement on a Friday afternoon knowing the weekend is nearly here and you have plans, or possibly even no plans to look forward to.
Then there are people. That excitement you feel at seeming someone you love and desire. It is maybe one the few upsides of having a long distance relationship. Mostly being apart all the time is a bit shit but when you know you are going to see that person, the build up to being together, making plans, counting down the days. There is a delicious anticipation to all that which is most definitely one of the best bits when it comes to being apart.
But anticipation is just a exciting when it comes to small things, to little moments.
A first kiss. That moment when you know it is going to happen. You can see it in their eyes, the want and desire. Those precious few seconds before your lips touch is thrilling. The same goes for all firsts. I often think about the first time I fucked someone, those moments just before, when you mouth hovers by the dick or their vulva. You look, savouring the moment, drawing out the anticipation just for a few seconds longer and then hearing the sigh or groan or mutters words of Oh God yes as you finally lick or suck them.
Just thinking about it now, about seeing her again, sliding off her knickers, kissing her, burying my face between her legs and sliding my fingers into her pretty cunt. The anticipation of it all, the feel of her, the sound of her, the scent of her. The way her legs clamp shut when she comes, how her mouth looks so pretty when it is open and gasping. It is one of the those rare moments when I wish I had a cock to slide between those pretty lips.
Of course anticipation goes the other way too. When you are the one being kissed, those moments before they claim your lips or when you feel a lovers breath on your thighs or feel their fingers spread you open and you know, any moment now their hot mouth will be on you, their fingers will be penetrating you. You hold your breath, waiting, wanting, aching for their touch.
Anticipation and teasing, are the best of friends. The feel of a hand on your thigh pushing up under your skirt at dinner, maybe grazing between your legs. Kisses on your neck as you wait for the train. Them pushing their body up against you in the elevator so you can feel they are already hard. It all makes you want more, it is like little morsels of succulent treats, that whet you appetite and leave you wanting more.
I am laying face down on the bed. Your hand runs down my hand and over my buttocks, a tender caress that passes back and forth a few times but then is gone. I brace myself. I hold my breath. I know what happens next will be far from tender. Sometimes it comes quickly, you are impact to start but other times. Well do you like watching me laying there? Do you enjoy seeing the tension in my body as I wait? Are you savouring the anticipation of the moment.
Anticipation definitely plays huge role in my kink play. Those moments of waiting for the paddle or flogger to land across my flesh. Or watching as the candle glimmers above me and the wax pools around the wick knowing that soon, in a moment, any moment it will fall, a droplet of molten wax and land on my skin. Followed by another and another. Hot on hot.
Or feeling the cold of the staple gun rest against my thigh or breast and watching your hand waiting to see the muscle contract and your fingers curl around the trigger which will fire the staple into my skin. I take a deep breath in steadying myself for what is to about to happen.
In the depths of my brain that instinct to ‘run’ to move away from the threat is screaming at me. Here anticipation is also apprehension, maybe even a kernel of fear that makes my heart rate kick up a notch, my eyes widen and my breath catch in my throat. At times it is a real battle within, two parts of my brain fighting it out. The instinct saying no but another part of my brain saying, you want this. you need this, you are this.
I have been known to plead, whimper and sometimes even swear and growl in those moments. Just let it start. “Fucking do it then.” Because the waiting is almost overwhelming, that fight in my making the adrenalin surge. I can feel my hands start to shake as I ignore my body’s fight or flight response.
Anticipation can start even before the clothes come off. A few well picked words can act like a delicious description of a dish on a menu. Just the thought of it makes your mouth water or in this case my cunt to twitch just at the thought of what is to come
“I am going to beat you tonight”
“I look forward to seeing your mouth wrapped round my cock later”
“I think I will use that paddle on you tonight”
And sometimes words are not even needed. Leaving the paddle on the bed so that when I go into the room to get changed I see it there. A sign left for me to discover, a promise of what is to come.
It is all about anticipation. It is about building desire, tension, longing and playing with fear, apprehension, tension. A game between the brain and body, sometimes even a fight as you have to breath through the moment, focus, ride the wave of pleasure and pain, of anticipation and action.