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Hair today

Lockdown has changed lots of things but shaving my body hair or more accurately not shaving it, in this case my armpit hair has been an interesting exploration of how I feel about my body and what I feel comfortable with.

“I wonder how people decided that women were supposed to shave their legs and armpits”
~ Natalie Portman

Earlier this week I was sitting on the edge of my bed after my shower looking at my phone. I glanced up and caught sight of myself in the mirror. What I saw pleased me and I set about trying to capture what I saw in the mirror in my phone. I didn’t move from the position I was in but took a few shots from a couple of different angles. Flipping back through them this was the one that caught my eye. It was the one that was most like the reflection I had seen in the mirror. I really like my body in this. It is exactly how I am, the little lines, the swell of my breast, that curve of my back and hip. I was about to send it to The Charmer and then I noticed the armpit hair and I stopped.

My initial reaction was that the armpit hair spoiled the picture. In the mirror I had not noticed it because my arm had not been raised but to get the picture that was not the case.

“Urgh, that is too much. I think I should shave” was actually what I find myself thinking.

Luckily it was post shower and so I left the picture on my phone got dressed and got on with my day. The following day when I was getting ready for my shower I was on the phone with The Charmer and I mentioned that I was thinking it was time to shave my armpit hair. That is was maybe all getting a bit too much to which he responded

“Well don’t do it on my account. Only if YOU want to. It doesn’t bother me.”

I went on to tell him about the picture I took and my reaction to it. He asked to see it and when I sent it he made a soft little sigh noise and muttered something about beautiful and then said;

“The hair is fine but if you don’t like it then get rid of it but why don’t you like it?”

It was actually a really good question and it got me really thinking about why. Could it be that I didn’t like it because society has taught me that it is unsightly? I don’t know for sure but there are a few things that make me think that might actually be the case.

Firstly I have enjoyed not shaving my arm pits (I am still shaving my legs, just not as often as normal) Since not shaving they are rarely ever itchy. At times the skin would often be a bit dry and definitely itchy. That has completely gone away.

I like how it feels. The hair is sooooo delicate and soft. It’s not like any other hair on my body. I really like the way it feels when I touch it, both how it feels to my finger tips but also how it feels when I stroke and tug on it. It’s a really nice sensation.

But I felt shy sending that image to The Charmer. There really was a part of me that feared it might turn him off. Not that he had ever given any indication of that. It was definitely something I was projecting onto him. I told him I was going to write this post and he said it was a good idea. I didn’t tell him that I was telling him to force myself to do it because otherwise I had a fairly strong feeling I would never share the image even though I liked so many things about it. Somewhere inside me I feel a slight fear about sharing it and maybe almost a slight twinge of shame. What fucking bullshit is that; being ashamed of my armpit hair? I am literally shaking my head at myself for that and yet it is there lingering inside me.

Societal conditioning around bodies is powerful, really very very powerful and also stealthily in it’s power. You don’t even know you are internalising all these messages for years and years until suddenly something changes and it’s creeping power is suddenly unveiled in all it’s discomforting glory.

I have already written about my pubes. Yes they are still very much in residence. I used to love being shaved but I have loved letting them grow I like the way they look. I don’t seem to have the same worry that someone will see them and think urgh that I do with my armpit hair.

For now though, the armpit hair is staying and I am going to try taking some more images and see how I feel about it. I don’t know if I will keep it or not but I want to be sure that if I shave them I am doing them for me, that it is my preference and not because society has taught me that armpit hair on women is grim.

Side view of molly showing her curves and lines of fat with her armpit hair showing

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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (11)

  • Chazz Vincent

    Bravo! I concur. There is a raw sexuality that women with unshaved armpits seem to exude…or maybe that’s just me, but…”don’t do it on my account…”

  • the barefoot sub

    Your underarm hair does look so soft.

  • Mrs Fever

    I shave my armpits maybe once every few months, usually only after an uncomfortably sweaty experience. Otherwise I let it be.

    Is that sexy?

    It’s comfortable. It’s how I roll. The ‘sexy’ question has never really occurred to me.

    In thinking about it though…

    One of the sexiest “vanilla life” photos I have ever seen was of Joan Jett, sweat pouring off her at the end of a stage set, mouth open wide against the Mic and arms raised… Showing completely natural, un-self-conscious dark tufts of hair under her pits.

    It’s the un-self-conscious part that makes the biggest difference, I think.

    I absolutely ‘get’ what you are saying about conditioning. But I sincerely hope you are able to take that twinge of shame and twist the negative power of that feeling into something positive.

    When it comes to your body and how you present it, you do You. Body hair is completely natural. There’s no reason you should shave it off unless YOU want to. What ‘society’ thinks doesn’t matter unless you let it.

  • LittleSwitchBitch

    Honestly body hair regardless of where it is doesn’t bother me. I usually have a strip but that varies constantly and my underarm hair is gone mostly (when I remember) mainly because I don’t like how it looks on me, so I shave it off for me. x

  • Modesty Ablaze

    Well … I personally prefer bare … but as I always say “you must always do what YOU want and what is right for you” !!!
    Xxx – K

  • Brigit Delaney

    I do think the push toward women not having body hair is a societal pressure, quite possibly caused by (or at least encouraged by) mainstream porn. I know many women prefer not to have it, but honestly, if it weren’t for my husband;s preferences, I’d let mine grow.

    I remember once being quite aroused by a woman’s armpit hair. It made me uncomfortable, and I tried to figure out both why it turned me on AND why I was later bothered by my reaction. I think the natural state allowed me to a make a visual connection to her pubic hair.

    But, for practical purposes, I’d agree with Modesty. It’s best to do what makes you comfortable in your own skin.

  • Mosscat

    What a beautiful picture, all the softness (including the hair), curves and smooth skin. You’re lovely x

  • Bee

    I, lucky I have a partner that doesn’t care, or at least that’s what he says but he’ll often rub it which is just irritating. But hair is definitely a step too far for me, I hate how hair feels and how it sprouts from places I wish it wasn’t. If I could permanently get rid of every hair I would.

  • Zebra Rose

    I wish I could unlearn the idea that body hair is shameful or wrong on women, but it goes in deep. And I do like the silky feeling after getting rid of it – if only it lasted longer than half an hour before getting spiky again! I think armpit hair looks good on you

  • PK

    I can’t believe in this day and age body hair is still everybody’s business. It’s hair, we all have it and should not be shunned or embarrassed by it. I’ve dated women that shaved constantly and others that rarely if ever touched a razor and I learned to appreciate that choice. It’s fascinating when I tell a girl that I’m dating that they don’t need to shave to make me happy, let it grow, up to you. They literally look at me like I’m crazy, lol. It’s interesting that when they have dropped the razor how much they actually enjoy their body hair and the freedom it brings. Cheers to you and your hairy adventure! 🙂

  • Floss

    I always find conversations around body hair so interesting, maybe that in itself is a sign of how I am conditioned by society. If there were fewer expectations surrounding it I don’t suppose there’d be much to talk about really. I shaved all through lockdown, though I admit I did my legs less often. But underarm and pubes I kept up with. At one point Mr F said ‘I’m surprised you’re bothering’ and I was absolutely floored by his comment. I do shave for me, but I also shave for him, because I assumed, he like some past partners would find the body hair less appealing. Turns out he’s not fussed either way. Which meant I then considered whether or not I wanted to grow it out for me, turns out I really didn’t want to. But it does mean I can relax a bit and not panic if I haven’t shaved for a day or two and we get naked, which quite frankly is a huge relief. In the 4 years of my previous relationship, I was shaved, all over every time we got sexy! It was bloody tiring, lol!

    I have loved seeing more body hair on other during lockdown though, because even though I don’t enjoy it on myself, I actually do enjoy it on other folks and I think your photo is delightful 🙂

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