Taking self portrait images has changed my relationship with my body and how I feel about it dramatically. Self photography has helped me to embrace a self love for my body that I never had before I started taking pictures of me
When I set about on the self photography aspect of this project it was purely a curiosity. I was inspired by some other bloggers, sadly none of them are blogging anymore, who posted images to try creating my own. Within just a few weeks I was hooked on the process and I very quickly started learning new skills, mostly by just doing but also through reading and watching videos. Turns out I seem to have an eye for a good picture and as my knowledge of camera settings and editing grew so did the quality of the images that I captured. I mostly definitely discovered a new love, both self photography and non self portrait photography. Setting off out into the world with my camera in hand is one of life’s true pleasures as far as I am concerned.
When I started taking self photography I was very cautious about what I showed. Both for anonymity reasons, clearly that is out the window now, but also because I had very conflicting feelings about how my body looked. I have always hated my stomach for example and even now will mostly try and cover it up or capture it in a way that doesn’t make me cringe and you know what? That is actually OK because it has helped me see it in way that were I don’t hate it and that has helped me see my body in a way that I never did before. Despite it’s flaws or maybe even because of them, it is sexy and beautiful and sensual. I am a sexual erotic creature. I have desires and wants. I am passionate and alive. My body feels so damn good to me and to my partners. I am not young, or slender and it doesn’t fucking matter. Taking self portraits has without a shadow of a doubt helped me to learn and embrace that about myself.
Not all images are created equal though. Some I spend a long time on, planning, finding the location, taking the images and then editing them afterwards and some of them I pick up my phone and take a picture right then and there and send it. It’s purpose? To turn him on. To make him want me. To make his cock twitch in response.
This image for example.
He loves cleavage and he loves boobs. I knew exactly what I was doing when I sent it. The response I got back told me it had hit the mark perfectly
“Holy fuck woman. What are you trying to do to me?”
Silly question really. I was trying to push his buttons. I am happy to admit that I like to tease and taunt. I love the banter, the sparing. I love to bait him and I love to flirt. I know I will pay a price for doing that while he was at work but I don’t care. When he finally gets his hands on me the result will feed us both.
The thing is it doesn’t matter which type of image it is that I create, they all help me to be in touch with my body, whether that is in a very sexually intense way or whether it is more as a study of my physical self. Neither is better than the other, they are all an expression of who and what I am.