I have always been good at multitasking. I think working in the service industry when I was younger really helped to hone those skills too. You absolutely have to be able to manage multiple tasks at once when you are working in a hotel. It is not a job where you can just make a list a work through it but it was the arrival of children in my life that really made me a multitasking genius.
As a parent you are kind of forced into it really. Clearly it comes more naturally to some than others but as a breast feeding Mother if you can’t learn to multitask you pretty much never going to get anything done ever again. I think my son was about a week old the first time I realised that if I wanted a pee I was going to have to do it with him attached to my boob. Ever tried to get your pants down with one hand, whilst the other clutches the most precious things you ever made tight to your breast? I am sure there are a ton of women reading this going uhuh in that knowing way. I see you superwoman!
I have breast fed a baby whilst cooking dinner, entertaining a toddler and and ordering my groceries online and that is just one such example and even today whilst breastfeeding is long gone it is not unusual for me to be trying to complete a piece of work, helping with homework and making pack lunches for the next day. It is definitely a good skill to have and I feel like I have refined it over the years into something close to my super power but I am also aware that multitasking is often the reason for the fact that I struggle with feeling overwhelmed with all I have to get done. I effects my ability to come up with new ideas and follow through on them. My head can be a very busy place. Not only with all I have to get done but with keeping track of what others need to do as well. I often feel like true time for me is fairly non-existent.
That fact was really highlighted to me a couple of months ago when I went away to Miami. I was really able to step away from those constant interruptions and demands on me and truly focus. I wrote lists and list of thoughts and ideas. I let me mind just have time with itself. I wrote and I planned and for the first time in years I felt truly calm and happy and like I could breath. I have tried to bring that feeling home with me but mostly I have failed because life is busy and being a parent is fairly consuming but I do have a better understanding of what I need to do to enable myself to grow professionally and creatively and that is manage my time better and essentially be a bit more selfish. However knowing and doing are two different things.
There are times though when I know that multitasking is not my strong point and that is when it comes to sex and whilst that might sound like a bad thing it actually is not. When it comes to sex and masturbation I need my head to be fully in the moment or otherwise my body just won’t be. One of the things I can’t stand is the TV being on in the back ground. Clearly there have been times when it has just happened to be on when someone made the move but at some point I will nearly always ask for it to be turned off because something like that can totally jar me out of the moment. I want to be fully engaged with myself and my partner not half listening to what is on the TV in the background and my mind is easily distracted and I know that will happen.
The same is true of kink play, especially when it comes to playing at clubs. If the music is really loud it will nearly always put me off and make it much harder for me to submerse myself in the physical sensations and on more the one occasion I have stopped play because people were standing right near us and talking loudly. There is a reason why a lot of kink clubs have rules about that stuff but I am always stunned by the amount of people who do it anyway.
Distractions are pretty much the death nail to my masturbation too. In fact being able to totally focus and be in my head and my body is absolutely key to me getting off. Recently there has been masturbation whilst on the phone. It was hot being listened to and having his words whispered into my ear as I fucked myself really works for me but holding the phone so he could see me or what I was doing actually stopped me being able to come. In the end I had to put the phone to one side and just listen and touch in order to get myself off.
When I am wanking I am totally focusing on me and my body. Distractions like being cold or uncomfortable will totally put me off my stroke, pun absolutely intended. I have learned over the years how to block out noise though, when you have kids and the only way for some free time (when they are younger) is to turn the TV on, you get used to having to shut that out whilst also keeping on ear out for those immortal words that every parent will know so well…. muuuuuuuuuum, whilst you take a few moment of pleasure for yourself.
So I might be a multitasking ninja in many areas of my life but when it comes to sex with myself and others then I have a one track mind. It is all about pleasure, mine and my partners. It is the centre of my attention. Nothing else matters in those moments. It is why I have never been a huge fan of 69 position because I find that if they are doing amazing things between my legs my mind is focused on that and I am definitely not giving them my best oral attention or alternatively I am super into the giving and barely aware of the receiving. I much prefer the taking turns method when it comes to oral sex although the same is not true when it comes to watching someone masturbate, that is definitely an area of sex I am happy to multitask along with them.
I completely relate to the multitasking as a parent. It tends to be a necessity. It was also good training ground for me as a boss at work now too. I also agree with you about sex. I get distracted by the television and I won’t allow a telly in our bedroom. We often fuck to music in the background. I’ve never played in a club but I can imagine being quite distracted by that too.
Thank you for a great post.
I hate TV in the bedroom. It was one of the first things I did when I split from my 1st husband was to get rid of the TV in the bedroom. Sadly it got reintroduced but luckily the aerial doesn’t work properly in our room now so it sits black and silent in the corner of the room. I plan to remove it very soon and put something pretty there instead.
Yes I was nodding in agreement to most of this Molly. I definitely need to be in the moment for sex and I think with masturbation it is even harder in some senses. It was also interesting the effect being away from everything had. I don’t feel I have had that space for my mind to focus for a long time ?
Me either and now my kids are older I realise I need to take more time like that for me. I can’t be on call 24/7 forever
“but I am also aware that multitasking is often the reason for the fact that I struggle with feeling overwhelmed with all I have to get done. I effects my ability to come up with new ideas and follow through on them. My head can be a very busy place.”
This is where I currently find myself… I came to a point where I realized I need to multitask a bit less to be able to do more, and the only way I can do that is with a good planning, blocking time for things I need and want to do. Maybe the ideas will start flooding back then…
“blocking time for things I need and want to do.” This is something I definitely need to do more often
First of all, hot image.
I understand what you mean about distractions, I really don’t like have to focus with music or loud talking in the background, it makes social situations a lot more difficult for me. I’m also of the preference that oral sex should be more focus on one person at a time, although 69 certainly has its place.
Oh yes 69 has it’s place but in my opinion giving someone really good oral requires that to be your focus
I have always struggled with multi tasking. I’m really quite amazing at it, but it takes a toll on me. I spend a lot of time and energy trying to force myself away from it by careful planning. Sometimes it works, but mostly, as a working mom with a husband, home, and rather time-consuming hobby, I find myself with 27 tabs open at all times trying to keep everything going. Eventually I crash. And then I go back out there and keep on keeping on. Not optimal behavior, but I’m not sure how else a person can get it all done.
I can totally identify with this “I find myself with 27 tabs open at all times trying to keep everything going.” I know I can do it but it does wear me down and I realise that mostly I have no real time for me
Minus the breastfeeding, there was a time when I considered myself great at multi-tasking — because it was necessary to get through mothering and working for someone else. It was normal and natural, and I would have said I was good at it. Until I finally learned I didn’t HAVE to multitask (once I started working for myself). Now it’s a skill that I’ve lost…because it does exactly as you described: keeps me distracted and overwhelmed. And because I don’t *have* to do it in the same way, I no longer CAN do it in the same way. Which can be frustrating when I’d really prefer to pay attention to something a kid needs AND a work thing at the same time.
As for sex/masturbation, it’s probably the one place I sort of multitask. Unless JB goes all in on sensory overload, I’m almost always thinking during sex — about the blog post I’ll write about the moment, what I need to do when we’re done, you name it. I hate that about myself, so I work hard to be mindful during those moments. But sometimes my brain has other ideas, lol. That being said, I don’t want to fuck or masturbate with a TV in the background or too many random noises and distractions…no thanks.
See, that would be my brain if I let it but I force myself to focus otherwise I probably wouldn’t ever have an orgasm
TV in the background is such a no no for me too – during sex and in so many other things – it distracts the mind and I like to focus on things I do. I have said it before but i get a little cross when i go around to visit someone – which i don’t do often as i am a bit of a hermit – but I get there and they leave the TV on. I feel like walking out lol
So much YES to this. I actually think that is rude and like you makes me want to leave. I don’t really watch the TV much to be honest though. I have not turned it on in weeks. Last time I did was before I went to Miami
I am with you on the 69 position! I have never been able to concentrate and enjoy receiving while I am focused on giving pleasure.
And I have never had a TV in my bedroom !
It’s comforting to read that I’m not the only one who needs to focus when I’m wanking! I have to be very deliberate at shutting out distraction – including my dogs who get quite keen on responding to the noises I make lol !!
Ha! My cat completely ignores me although has been know to try and choose that moment to sit on my chest for a snuggle