The (not so) Ultimate G

by Molly Moore
Ultimate G Vibe from ann Summers with googly eyes

This is a new experiment which very nearly had me throwing my computer out of the window in a complete rage. I had the idea of recording my reviews so I don’t have to write reams and you don’t have to read reams. Sounds simple right? WRONG! I can’t tell you how many times I recorded this damn thing but either the technology fucked up or else I did. As a result I think you can hear the desperation and exacerbation in my voice at the beginning. It gets better though, as I start to believe that this time it might actually work…. and it did! If you watch to the very end, which I hope you will, this is also clearly evident.

Hopefully, now I know what I am doing I shall attempt a few more of these without the grumpy tone. So please do let me know if you like it or if there is anything you would like to see me talk about. Alternatively if you have a product you would like me to review then do get in touch. I am not rude about all of them I promise

Apart from that, excuse the umms… I didn’t want to write a script so I really did improvise and the umms are my moment to think in the hope of not saying something completely insane and if you know me, saying insane things is my forte!


*Disclaimer: I was sent this product by Ann Summers for free in exchange for a fair review.


Oh and because it is February Photofest I just had to include an image. This toy might not do it for me with regards to orgasms but it is perfect for creating funny sex toy photographs! I think this one should be called…

Alien v Predator!

Ultimate G Vibe from ann Summers with googly eyes


Ps… Click on the icon below to see all my February Photofest images

February Photofest

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Marie Rebelle February 21, 2014 - 11:35 pm

It’s lovely listening to you and I had quite a few smiles while you did your review. Great idea to put it on video!

And the photo is just brilliant. Good for a huge smile and giggle!

Rebel xox

Ima Godiva February 22, 2014 - 1:20 am

Hi Molly! I loved your video, and your brutal honesty about the toy. Entertaining and educational! Thanks. 🙂

SilverDomUK February 22, 2014 - 10:17 am

Enjoyed watching it and, yes, your frustration did come through a bit.

Mia February 22, 2014 - 3:17 pm

First of all well done you for persevering!

I love how you were totally honest and forthright with your opinions on the toy, and from watching this video I know, without doubt, that this would NOT be a toy for me, so thank you for your detailed review on how it all worked.

Like you I think the different light colours is a fabulous idea!

I hope that you feel able to do video reviews as it is a wonderful way to do them and you came across really really well (I could sense the frustration at the beginning, but the fact that you alluded to this in your commentary before the video provided understanding and empathy with this). The more that you do them the easier it gets, just like public speaking!

I look forward to your next one! Thank you!

~Mia~ xx

Mia February 22, 2014 - 3:19 pm

ps – absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the #febphotofest picture!! 🙂

~Mia~ xx

Miss July February 22, 2014 - 3:56 pm

Definitely impressed with your vlog. I could tell the entire time how you felt about this product, which made it so worth watching and listening to you review it.

Oh and I looked up 65 pounds in US dollars. I’m just going to say over-ally expensive. Enough so that I would have the same factors in mind about packaging if I brought it, which I’m not going to due it looking like a monster. Just creepy!!

xxx Miss July xxx

Penny February 22, 2014 - 5:51 pm

I really like that you brought up the condescending tone in the description on the toy as well its “gender.” I must say that toy is hideous…but perfect for an alien vs. predator photo! 🙂

John February 22, 2014 - 11:12 pm

The toy looks a little scary.

I am not convinced by the personification of sex toys! 😉 Or genital numbness ;-(

Persephone Raya February 23, 2014 - 6:04 pm

Lol as soon as you showed the toy to the camera I chuckled, what a terrible looking thing!
Lovely to see you doing video though, I do hope you do more, hope future ones are more successful first time around though!

ladypandorah February 23, 2014 - 8:35 pm

Very well done for battling with both the Ultimate G and the vlogging!

I like the concept of the colour coded buttons but I found the colours flashing all the time were too distracting for me!

Your review is superb – balanced with the (very few) good bits you managed to find in the product and a fair assessment of its many, many faults. I had missed the ‘gendering’ of the toy and it’s a good point you bring up. I really dislike the notion of a toy having a gender. It is a THING.

I for one would love to see you try some more vlog reviews – or even vlogs which aren’t reviews.

LadyP xoxo

Fen February 24, 2014 - 9:14 am

That packaging looks awful! I have some Njoy toys and boy is that packaging gorgeous! Your review was honest, which is great. Love the pic with the googly eyes on it.

Beck February 24, 2014 - 11:53 pm

LOL! Too cute.

GrittyWoman March 9, 2014 - 12:52 pm

What a fantastic, informative video. My first attempt was terrible haha! You did great. This toy would not work for me and third level orgasms? COME ON! I dread to think how many women will try this toy and be under the impression that they, unlike “so many” other women, can’t seem to reach this magic 3rd level orgasm. It’s setting people up to feel like failures. This makes me sad.

Mia Foster November 5, 2014 - 4:14 pm

An honest review of a toy that looks like something you get of a cereal packet !!! Oh Ann summers you poor old girl !!!
An innovative toy for women who hate their clits !!!


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