The Fred Room Of Pain

by Molly Moore
Eroticon 2013 Molly Moore delegate badge

I am exhausted, or at least I was. I seem to be recovering now but a full on weekend of Eroticoning has left my head stuffed full of thoughts and the rest of me needing some serious sleep. It was without a doubt one of the best weekends ever; filled with exciting, thought-provoking, funny, interesting and sometimes crazy conversations as well as a whole host of meeting new people and getting to spend time with many people who I am lucky enough to call my friends.

It has given me much to think about and I seem to have spent the last couple of days pondering where to start with it all when it comes to writing about it. I am still struggling with that but I suspect over the next few weeks it will all start to make a bit more sense and hopefully inspire some writing as a result.

This event is organised by Ruby Kiddell; a woman who I greatly admire for her drive, dedication and belief in the sex blogging/erotic writing community. She has created an event for us, that brings together a truly inspiring, intelligent and dynamic community that I am very proud to be a part of.

The whole weekend kicked off with the drinks meet and greet. It was a lovely way to break the ice and I think for some people who had not meet anyone before gave them that added bit of confidence and excitement about the weekend ahead. We had a slightly later night than planned but it was totally worth it. The next morning we had to be at the venue seriously early as Sir was tech support for the weekend. I spent that time wishing for coffee but finally as the doors opened at 9am the coffee appeared and I became human again!

The full schedule of sessions and speakers can be found on the Write Sex Right site so I am not going to go through all of them just some of the edited highlights from the ones I attended.

Day 1

Opening Plenary: Brook, XES campaign we can’t go backwards

I have some mixed feelings about this to be honest. The speaker was absolutely excellent in her delivery, my issue is about the need for the group to receive a ‘sex education talk’. More on this another time

Myth Busting: The Submissive Woman. Molly Moore

That’s me! I really enjoyed presenting this session although the time went too quickly and I didn’t get to end it properly but I will do a write-up with session notes and a recommended reading list will be available

Editing: Cressdia Downing.

This woman is a great presenter. Her session was well structured, highly informative and also very funny. A perfect combination in my book. I went away from it with two key points. Time spent editing is never wasted and don’t get bogged down in editing mid writing, which is definitely something I am guilty of. Oh and avoid at ALL costs referring to cum as ‘baby batter’ *shudders

Creative Writing 2: Remittance Girl

I admit to being a fully paid up member of the RG fan club so this was a session I was not going to miss, even though RG told Harper Eliot and I that we didn’t need to be there as we had heard it before we ignored her and took our place near the front. This woman is a force to reckoned with. She often makes my brain ache but I love her for it. She is articulate, intelligent and, I was to discover, a truly consummate public speaker. Her session made me even more determined to explore the dark and delicious word of human eroticism as much as possible when I write. Whether I have the skill to do that will be something only time will tell. The one thing I wrote down during this session was; I love this woman. Something I already knew but listening to her speak made me proud to call her my friend. If you don’t follow her on twitter or read her blog then you are missing out. She also says the word ‘fucking’ in such a way that it makes me wet. Keep your ears open as Harper and I are hoping to have her as a guest on our podcast in the near future.

Writing For The Adult Industry: Ruby Goodnight

Yes another person I am very lucky to be able to call my friend but I went to her session not really knowing what to expect. I was blown away. I am fully aware that Ms Goodnight is a highly intelligent and articulate lady but I was completely unaware how good a public speaker she is. Her session was brilliant. She seriously knows her stuff & even more importantly delivered it with style, focus and a truly professional air. I nominate her to run a ‘How to… Twitter’ session next year.

Self Publishing: Getting Started When You Are Alone. MK Elliot & Guy New York

Unfortunately technical issues prevented Guy New York being in on this session (although I heard he made it for the one the next day so yay) Despite the hitch, resulting in a late start for MK, she was ever the professional and seemed to remain totally un-flustered by all this. Her session was jammed packed full of ‘How to’ information and I found myself a little overwhelmed at times, certainly the tax issues between the UK and the USA sounded fairly daunting, however this session certainly gave me plenty to think about and made me realise that you don’t have to restrict yourself to one form of publishing at all.

End of day one and time to dash back to the hotel, change into something a little sexier and head out for the Aural Sex readings at the Lock Stock Bar in Kennington. This too shall get a separate post.

Day 2.

Polyamory 101: Lori Smith & Amanda Jones

Yet again I have to admit to being friends with these two lovely ladies BUT as with the delicious Ruby Goodnight this is a friendship that came about because of Eroticon 2012! I loved this session. These ladies are smart, knowledgeable and funny and they covered their subject with real thought and care, engaging the audience and encouraging open and thought-provoking conversation. You can listen to the session on Amanda’s website

Top ten tips for writing a sex blog: Molly Moore

Me again! This was a session I was really looking forward to giving. Yes, I managed to include some of my pet hates about Blogger, about me pages and tag clouds. Apologies to anyone offended by these. As a result of this session I have decided that maybe a series of post based on this subject might be of interest to people.

SEO Love: Michael Knight (Held in the Fred Room of Pain, as it became known)

*disclaimer: Michael Knight = My husband, as a result some bias maybe possible on my part.

I went to this session for 3 reasons, one because I ADORE listening to him speak and teach. He is very good at it, but then he has had a LOT of practise, two so that I could indulge in some live tweeting on his behalf and 3 as I knew it would give me a slight break from the full on information overload.

He is a man who likes to wing it when it comes to this kind of thing, not that I think you would know that if you were in audience. The session was jammed packed with information and I suspect some found it all a little overwhelming. This subject can be very daunting and there is a lot of contradictory information out there on the web but trust me when I say this man really fucking knows his stuff. In the future I know he is planning on hosting some more focused google hangout workshops so if you have a burning issue/question or a particular subject you would like covered get in touch. @Domsigns

BDSM Tools of the trade: Molly Moore & Michael Knight

Hosts familiar by now? This was a session that was added to the schedule very last-minute after a discussion on twitter sparked by ‘safewords’ We decided not to plan this session too much but let the audiences interests and needs dictate what we did. The down side of this session was that we had to take a bloody HUGE bag of BDSM toys with us for the weekend and even travel on the bus with me holding the home-made cane bundle as it was too long to fit into our bags. Made for some fun looks from other passengers though and I couldn’t help giggling. The session itself was a really enjoyable one to give and I hope that we gave people just a bit of a taste of the variety of stuff out there, various ways in which it can be used and also the amazing things you can adapt from around the home or even find in car boot sales for 50p. Again, this session will I think lead to more blogging as maybe a series on BDSM tool would be a topic worth covering.

Sex and the Media: Zoe Margolis Nichi Hodgson

Last year I missed this panel and felt I had missed out on a key part of the event and so I was really looking forward to attending it this year. Unfortunately I can’t say I enjoyed it, in fact I found it very negative. I have heard Zoe speak many times before and she damn good at it, however I feel that the panel needed a more focused topic to discuss and maybe some more panel members. I know the main stream media is warped and fairly fucked up. I don’t need you to tell me but it seemed a shame that at no point was the fact that we all have a voice as writers and bloggers and not be should be scared to use it was even presented as a possibility. I came away from the session with the message that as far as sex in the media is concerned we are all fucked and it is hopeless to think otherwise. We all know the problems, maybe more focus on solutions and successes that there have been would have made for a better session.

Closing Plenary: Cindy Gallop

This was one seriously brave move on Ruby’s part to attempt this. 1. Being totally reliant on technology for your closing plenary is a serious gamble. One little hiccup with internet connections and you basically don’t have a closing plenary. 2. Inviting someone to close the event who has not attended the conference and therefore not been able to pick up on the vibe and content of the weekend meant the chances of the content being ‘off’ was a real possibility.

In the end none of these things happened, thank goodness. In fact quite the reverse; technology behaved itself and Cindy Gallop delivered a truly inspirational, although a times challenging, closing talk that I felt ended the conference on a truly high note. She is an inspirational woman and her attitude towards being open and outspoken about the subject of sex, porn and sexuality was fabulous. She really inspired me to think about my own place in that debate and it is one that I suspect I shall return to here in the future. If you would like to see her talk and I highly recommend you do, you can view it in on Youtube.

So there you have. This really is only the highlights of the weekend. The rest was filled with meeting wonderful people and spending time immersed in a community of inspirational, challenging, and funny individuals who I absolutely adore. (There may also have been some girl kissing which means I can tick of No. 69 on my 101 things in 1001 days list!) I came away from the weekend feeling utterly vindicated and full of ideas and desires for future projects and above all else writing!

It would seem that erotic writes/sexbloggers + Eroticon = Brilliant!

Eroticon 2013 Molly Moore delegate badge


Ps.. Sorry this is a long one but it had to be done.

Pps… Harper Eliot and I are looking for short sound bites about the conference. If you have a mini, 30 seconds or less, ideally, review of eroticon you would like us to include please record something and send it to us as an audio file. If you don’t want your voice aired but still have something to say, feel free to email us a few lines and we will read them. Please send audio files & written reviews to harper (at) itgirlragdoll dot com

And don’t forget to click on the icon below to see who else is joining in with Wicked Wednesday. Apologies for hijacking this weeks prompt. I intend to come back and revisit the topic of numbers again in the future.

Badge for Wicked Wednesday


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Rachel Kincaid March 6, 2013 - 3:55 pm

My head is buzzing with ideas from Eroticon 2013. I am now a fully paid up member of the Remittencegirl fan club but it will not and cannot replace the “I heart Molly” t-shirt I have stashed away in my draw. Sound bite on it’s way!

Rachel x

remittancegirl March 6, 2013 - 4:26 pm

Well, the fan-club is entirely mutual, Molly. I think you’re one of the most honest, humane and hottest women I know. And I agree with you about Michael as a presenter. It blows me away to know your session was ad libbed. It was very thorough even as it was playful and friendly. (er… and hot).

I really agree with you about the Sex in the Media thing. You put your finger right on it. Brava for saying so.

Great post, girl. I kind of got to vicariously enjoy sessions I didn’t go to!

H.H. March 6, 2013 - 4:43 pm

So wish we could have made it this year. Next year perhaps.

Harper Eliot March 6, 2013 - 6:23 pm

Such an excellent write-up! I grinned my way through; almost like being there again. And I’m really looking forward to seeing flares of Eroticon in everyone’s writing over the next few weeks.

M.K. Elliott March 6, 2013 - 7:12 pm

Thanks so much for the fab feedback on my session, Molly! I’m so pleased I didn’t come across as flustered as I felt! Your session was also wonderfully eye-opening for me, and I’ll certainly be thinking about all the things you’ve said when I’m writing in the future. Can’t wait for next year already when I can join in all the pre-conference fun!

Penny March 6, 2013 - 7:25 pm

It sounds like it was just an amazing event; I’d really like to try to make it next year even though it’s far. 🙂 Also, I am definitely interested in reading your tips on sex blogging if you do decide to write posts about it.

Marie Rebelle March 6, 2013 - 7:49 pm

I am still writing up my notes about Eroticon 2013 but I already see that there are quite some things we agree on. I hope to have my posts up soon!

And of course, one of the best things of the Eroticon weekend was meeting you 😀

Rebel xox

Mia March 6, 2013 - 8:18 pm

Sounds as though the whole event was an overwhelming success!

I look forward to reading more as and when you can put the words together!

~Mia~ xx

Andy March 6, 2013 - 10:55 pm

That is a brilliant roundup of events and makes me even more determined to be there at next year’s event. Thank you for the information, I’ll see you there next year!

KaziG March 7, 2013 - 2:38 am

I feel the same way about the professional conferences I attend, so much information, so much inspiration, it’s hard to describe. I always come back to my job so charged up!

Your description sounds totally awesome… I so, so, wish I could have been there!! If only Eroticon traveled the way my national conference does…

~Kazi xxx

Curvaceous Dee March 8, 2013 - 2:45 am

One of the few downsides of living in my beautiful country is that it’s rather far away from most of the rest of the sex-blogging community! Thank you so much for this excellent write-up – it was good to know what went on and what Eroticon involved 🙂

xx Dee


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