Welcome To The Club

By on August 7, 2012.

I love going out to play. We have been to quite a few dungeon’s and clubs now and found that some of them just don’t have ‘it’ whilst others do. Size is important (excuse the pun) when it comes to a good BDSM/dungeon club. The type of impact and bondage play that many people want to do means you need space. There is no point in positioning your St Andrews cross in an alcove, like one place we went too. It might like cool but it makes it impossible to swing your arm let alone an arm wielding a flogger or cane. Putting your winch right next to the bar, or your spanking bench in a corridor (both things we have come across) are also really bad ideas and then there the horror that is music.

I really like music and have a fairly eclectic taste but how on earth can you, the club owner, choose just the right track that I want pounding through my skull as Sir’s flogger is pounding on my arse? I hate the clubs that have the music so loud that you have to shout in each others ear. Not only can you not socialize in a place like that you also cannot communicate with the person who is beating your arse and anyone who knows anything about BDSM play, particularly impact play, knows that communication, both verbal and visual is so important. If the music is so loud you can feel it thumping through your body then in my opinion you should step away from the flogger and dance instead as that is all the space is really suitable for.

Then there is lighting. A bit like music, lighting is harder to get right than you think. Flashing dance club lights are all very pretty but in a play space are totally impractical. Some dark and dingy corners are nice for a snuggle or maybe more but around play equipment you need lighting to be good enough for the Dom to be able to see his target well and gauge his or her physical reactions.

On top of this there is temperature; warm enough to make stripping off comfortable but not so hot that when the action starts everyone feels like they are going to pass out, equipment; needs to be well made, well put together, well positioned and above all clean, and with cleaning supplies so you can tidy up afterwards and possibly most important of all somewhere to sit down. Trust me when I say that after a damn good spanking on a St Andrews Cross of some other equally exciting piece of equipment you really are not in a fit state to be standing up and so providing a few crappy chairs in the corner of the room is never ever going to work well.

Of course even if you get all this right it can still be a bit hit and miss when it comes to atmosphere but I have found that in general where clubs have good well thought out facilities and are run by people who actually care about providing a quality play space rather than just lining their pocket then a good crowd of people is nearly always guaranteed.

For most folk having facilities like this at home are just not practical and so finding a good club to go and play in allows people to explore those scenarios and play environments that they can’t in at home and also act as a place to go and socialize with like-minded kinky perves. In my experience a well run club is not a place of danger and fear but is in fact a place of much fun, warmth, friendship and personal liberation. No one is going to be bothered by you wearing a collar or wearing nothing at all, or walking around with a whip in your hand or in my case having blood running down the back of your legs.

It is a place where you can explore those boundaries amongst people who even of they don’t understand your kink will not be offended by it.  Of course this is an ideal and one that many clubs don’t deliver on but when you discover one that does, if you are anything like us, you will find yourself returning to it time and again with a spring in your step a ladder in your stockings and bag full of evil hitty spanky things!

Tied to St Andres cross with a bloody ass

I should just add that all of these clubs have a very strict no photography policy. The only reason we managed to get this one is because we hired the club for my birthday party and this image is the result of a truly wonderful birthday beating that left me blissed out on the endorphins and admiring the wonderful marks he had left on my body for days afterwards.


Ps… Click on the icon below to see who else is joining in with Wicked Wednesday. This weeks prompt is ‘Club’.

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Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker
Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss
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  1. I love this. I love that I don’t understand any of it and yet you, as ever, tell your truth in a way that is entirely unthreatening and heartwarming.

    I especially love; “with cleaning supplies so you can tidy up afterwards”.

    I half think you should take down this post and then go charge club owners a consultancy fee for your practical insights! If they don’t get it right after reading this then they don’t deserve to be in business! xx

    • Thank you for such a wonderful comment. The fact that even though you don’t understand it I have written it in such a way as it still appeals to you makes me rather proud.

      I wonder if there is any money to be had being a BDSM club consultant and maybe reviewer. It could be fun finding out. I have spent so many trips to clubs thinking…. if only they just did, this that and the other this place would be perfect but I have yet to offer my consultancy services for real.


  2. They just started a magazine in my area that allows people to review clubs and write about events. It’s all done online, so I think their overhead is probably low. As of now they’re not paying people for articles. You could start something like that and write reviews of clubs and such. It would be a great resource for people in your area. Plus you write so well, it would only make sense for you to be the one to do it!

    I’ve never been to a club or play party. I’m pretty bad in large groups and I worry my nerves would be so bad I wouldn’t enjoy myself. One day maybe. Your image really makes me want to go to one, even if it ends up being one of the not so good ones.
    Kira recently posted..30 Days of Kink – #17 and #18My Profile

    • There are many really great clubs out there and depending on what you enjoy will make a difference to the ones you end up liking. For many the dressing up and clubbing scene (as in music and dancing) is something they love but for others who like to really play these environments are not so suitable. I would say do your research, make contact with your local community and ask around. Personal recommendations are a really excellent ways of finding the best places. I would urge you to give it a go, there is nothing quite like a really good BDSM club play experience.


  3. Up to now I have not had the guts to go out to any kind of club, let alone a BDSM club. After reading this I kind of want to explore, getting to know the clubs in our area. We are becoming more and more restricted at home, which really irritates me. The kids seem to be very aware of sounds coming from the bedroom and even asked questions about it. So maybe a club is a good alternative. I will now know what to look for, thanks to you! No loud music, no cramped spaces, nice places to sit. I think I will make a shortlist from this post of yours and take it with me 😀

    Thanks for this post, Molly!

    Rebel xox
    Marie Rebelle recently posted..Las Vegas Strip ClubMy Profile

  4. I’m aware of Munches but not of any professional BDSM clubs in our area (think that would be a zoning issue around these parts). My agoraphobia would probably get the better of me anyway, though I would in theory love to visit such a place. Sir and I will just be sticking to our hotel room, I think!

    ~Kazi xxx
    KaziGrrl recently posted..Wicked Wednesday: Dragon UnlockedMy Profile

  5. An alternative to the Michelin Guide – a kinksters guide to equipment, clubs, safe practices etc. You should do it!
    Impure Genius recently posted..The ClubMy Profile

  6. While I enjoy some pain, I am not into the depth that arouses you. however your description of it does entice and arouse me. I have never been to a club like you have talked about and being in the middle of KY don’t think there are any such clubs, sadly. I agree with the others you should go into business.
    Twisted Angel recently posted..Neighborhood book club WWMy Profile

  7. My own experiences in this area, while some have been quite intense, have all been extremely private. I am TOTALLY fascinated by your post, the idea of sharing this in a room full of people. Intriguing to say the least. I wonder if I would like it; I certainly find the idea arousing.

  8. Though we’re not regular BDSM practitioners, we have been to such a club and we agree, especially on the point about music. While we had a great time, we found that techno doesn’t really get us in the mood and if we wanted to get a headache from the throbbing beats we’d have gone to a dance club.
    Jack and Jill recently posted..Wicked Wednesday: Join the ClubMy Profile

  9. Holy red, ass-man…I mean batman…

    I have been to a few BDSM play parties as a voyeur. Fascinating club here that they call Sub Space Dungeon. Have to go back again sometime as it certainly gets the creative *ahem* juices flowing.

    Stranded recently posted..Shadows in SteamMy Profile

  10. Brilliantly written and insightful!

    We are not club goers and prefer to play in private. You have certainly highlighted some very good pros and cons of attending such clubs if that is what you want to do.

    As many others have said you should consider a review section for individual clubs that you visit, it could be very helpful to others wishing to try them!!

    ~Mia~ xx
    ~Mia~ recently posted..Pegs and ClampsMy Profile

  11. I can completely relate to this post. The music can be too loud or can jump genres. The lighting can be bad. Some places use candles. Equipment can be hard to get to or too close together and make playing difficult. Everything is important, especially when it comes to headspace.

    I wonder if club owners either don’t see it or don’t care. Regulars at a club seem to get used to how things are and don’t see any point in changing anything.
    TheSinDoll recently posted..DroolMy Profile

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