“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
~ Douglas Adams
This is my 500th Sinful Sunday post and therefore the 500th week of Sinful Sunday. Since it started back on the 17th April 2011 it has run every single week. Never missing one, not even for Christmas or holidays and I have mirrored that pattern here on my blog so today we celebrate our 500th week together.
I have been pondering for a few weeks now what to post to mark that occasion and I will be honest struggling with the answer but then the other day when I was looking back to find out the exact date of the 1st ever Sinful Sunday I ended up looking at that first post of mine and that gave me the perfect idea; To recreate that image all these years later.
The result I think is perfect because it captures growth and change. Without a doubt my photography skills have evolved throughout those years and Sinful Sunday has had a huge role in that because it is has pushed me to constantly take pictures, learning, experimenting and evolving as I go. It is safe to say this image shows that development when compared to the one that inspired it 9 years ago.
It also captures other change though. My body; I am older and have changed shape somewhat but that is normal and natural and something I do my best to embrace. Comparisons to a past body only lead to discontentment with the present one. (Spoiler, definitely not totally mastered this but doing my best) My hair is another big change. I had it short for many years. A couple of years ago I decided to grow it again and I have to admit that I love my long hair and have no plans to return to the short crop any time soon.
The cuffs have changed too. That set has long been retired having given up the ghost during a play session years ago. They were not really fit for purpose, more a decorative thing unlike the cuffs I have now. They are robust and strong and will withstand even the most passionate fight. It has been a fairly long time since I wore them with someone though but I know that will change in time and I look forward to that day.
Of course other things have changed. Back then I was in the fairly early stages of a new relationship which would turn into my second marriage and a 24/7 D/s relationship with me as a the sub. That relationship no longer exists and I have made me peace with that. There are many precious and wonderful memories from our time together and I learned a great deal about myself during that time. Moving on has not been without it’s pains but I am happy where I have ended up.
Despite that horror that has been 2020 I have been hugely lucky to develop new relationships and continue to grow already established ones with people who I love. I knew even back then that I was a non monogamous person but I picked a relationship where having that was not possible. Now it is and I am loving how that looks and feels for me now.
This image may look like I am embracing my sub side and whilst I most definitely do I have also learned that is not as fixed as I once thought it was either. Maybe that feisty defiant streak was a clue but it seems that being in charge sometimes is something I also enjoy. So whilst I might look like I am the sub in this shot it is not a universal truth any more.
When I posted that image 9 years ago I thought I knew so much about myself and my world but what time has taught me over and over is never say never. Things change both personally and within the wider world, often in totally unexpected ways but 9+ years/500 weeks later here I am, still learning, still growing and still being sinful.
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