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Only one thing a girl can do

Close up of molly's red lips open and breathless for post about masturbation as self care

I can be really bad at self care sometimes. I definitely don’t give myself enough time away from work. In fact of late it has become really obvious to me that is something I must work on doing better. It is not uncommon for me to work a fairly large portion of the weekend and considering I am at it all week (work stuff not sex you filthy perverts) it is starting to take it’s toll on me. So one of my goals for the next couple of months is to organise my routine better so that I can spend a bit more time doing other things.

I am however very lucky in that I work from home and so it means that I can pretty much manage my day and my week to suit me which means if I want to go and visit my Mum on a Friday I can totally do that and just catch up on the Saturday. It also means that I can go out for a walk in the mornings rather than start work straight away and just work later into the day. I love that flexibility but I am terrible at saying I am done and switching off. Working for yourself means there is always something to do and so it is very easy to still find yourself tapping away at 1am rather than going to bed at 11pm and reading my book for a bit.

The one thing I do every day for myself is go out and walk. Setting my goal of 11,000 steps a day has been so good for keeping me on track and even if it is raining I will put on my raincoat and go and do at least an hour. It works for me in so many different ways. Firstly it gets me out of the house, which is important when you work from home as it is very easy to suddenly realise you have barely left the house in days. Secondly it gets the blood pumping, so I am burning up calories and of course exercise releases a load of happy chemicals into the blood stream. Even on days when I am feeling really crappy I will always come back from my walk in a happier mood and thirdly and this might be one of the most important reasons why my daily walk is so important it allows me time completely on my own.

I am an introvert. I am an introvert who can totally turn on her extrovert but deep down inside people all time absolutely exhaust me. I think it is one of the reasons why Eroticon always knocks me so hard is that it is essentially 4 full on days with lots of people time. I love it but at the end of it I am completely wiped out. I sometimes think it is an only child thing. I am very good and happy on my own. I can live in my head really rather well. I have a vivid imagination and very rich internal life. That hour or so every day I spend thinking, imagining, exploring my head. I come back with ideas, and to-do lists or sometimes the opposite, I come back having thought it all through and so happy to set it all aside for a little while. Having time on my own is probably one of the most important self care things that I need.

One of the other things that is really important self care for me is orgasms. Which is why I am taking part in Tabitha’s #30dayorgasmfun challenge because it basically gives me an excuse to have at least one delicious orgasm a day. They make me feel relaxed and happy and and good about my body. Touching myself helps me to be focused on my body and on me. Masturbating is definitely all about me (apart from when it is not and that is a whole other story that is one of my go to fantasies that involves me masturbating while someone watches me) Doing Tabitha’s challenge reminds me every year of how an orgasm a day really does work wonders for me. Obviously some days are just too busy but if I can fit one in, then I will, because I have never ever wished I didn’t have that wank and masturbating for self care is totally thing.

There is one of self care though that I have to be careful with and that is food. When I tired, or grumpy I can easily find myself reaching for biscuit or a bit of cake and sometimes that is OK. In fact I totally believe that it is absolutely fine to cheer yourself with a couple slices of chocolate orange but it is probably unwise to do that with the whole orange twice a week. I spent a large part of my adult life being obese and it took me a very long time and some serious will power to change that. I am very conscious of slipping back there. Giving up smoking about 4+ years ago has resulted in me putting on some weight again and I am, mostly, OK with that but I also know that it can be very easy for the weight to slowly keep going up and also as you age it is harder to lose weight too. So food and I have a complicated relationship, because I fucking LOVE food but my body is too damn good at storing at all and so I have to watch out that I don’t fall into the trap of cheering myself up with too many calories.*

There are other things obviously. This is by no means an extensive list. A hot bubble bath is another go to move when I need to take care of myself as is clean sheets. I know that might sound odd but there is nothing like beautiful clean sheet for a good nights sleep. Talking of which, a good nights sleep does wonders when it comes to self care and feeling able to cope with life. The other big thing for me when it comes to self care and relaxation is warmth. I am a summer person. The hotter the better as far as I am concerned. I suffer from poor circulation so I have a tendency to be cold a lot of the time. If you don’t you won’t understand this but being cold or struggling to stay warm is surprisingly tiring. When it was hot last summer or the odd time we have gone away on holiday to someone where hot, everyone moans about the heat and how they can’t sleep and I am quite literally in my element and whilst everyone is restless I am sleeping through the night like a baby under just a sheet. I was most definitely born in the wrong part of the world, my body is designed for the heat.

Of course there is one big thing missing from this post, well maybe two actually, and that is kink and sex. Yes I already mentioned masturbation but this is sex in partnered sense of the word. I am a very sexual person and I have a very high sex drive. Sex is a very important part of my life, I write a frigging sex blog for fuck sake, and kink definitely fits into that. If I had my way I would fuck every day but busy lives mean that is not realistic but a lack of sex makes me grumpy and resentful and well, not a particularly nice person really. Sex makes me happy and relaxed, it helps with my focus and my sleep and my mood and my health. Humping for happiness, Fucking for focus, Shagging for self care. I am all about that but in the absence of that there really is only one thing a girl can do, and that is herself!

Wicked Wednesday badge*Just want to clear that I am talking about my body and what is happy and healthy for me. I wasn’t happy when I was overweight which was why I changed it. That does not mean that I believe that all people who are overweight should go on a diet. I think you should do what is right for you.

 

 

  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (11)

  • Marie Rebelle

    I absolutely LOVE your last line! Here’s to self-care and masturbation… and orgasms of course πŸ™‚

    Rebel xox

  • Hislordship

    “I sometimes think it is an only child thing. I am very good and happy on my own. I can live in my head really rather well.” I love having people I love and like a lot around me, but I get you on this.

  • Tabitha

    Lovely post Molly, self care is always last on the list. So easy to forget about it and to set work boundaries when you work from home, I’m exactly the same. I have been trying to walk 10k steps but rarely manage it but you’ve inspired me to just get out and do it.
    Oh, that photo! *swoon*

  • May More

    So much of this post had me shouting YES –
    My imagination is on the go constantly.
    Too many people who want to talk to me is exhausting.
    I am an introvert who can play at extroverting!
    I have to walk every day for the added oxygen it gives me – as u say it pumps the blood – and too all areas, even the face.

    I could go on.
    x

  • PurpleSole

    It’s very important that you take the time to self-care. Although I feel if I worked from home I’d spend too much time self caring and not enough time doing the work.

  • fridayam

    Such a lovely image for such an interesting post Molly πŸ™‚

  • Cara Thereon

    Introverts unite (apart, in your own spaces). I get that, needing alone time. I get people-d out pretty quickly in social settings and tend to need the exit ASAP.

    I hope you get the sex you need. Fucking for focus is important!

  • Old Mike

    I did so enjoy your post – it prompted so many thoughts and “I get that ” moments – I have recently reduce from drinking a bottle of wine a night to a bottle a month simply because I want to but does anyone else get that – no – but I suspect you do. Thanks for commenting on my entry – A was very special but I’m glad she passed through my life

  • Kayla Lords

    No, you definitely don’t take enough time away from work (I can tell that from here, across an ocean). And as someone who also works from home and manages my own schedule, I use that as a way to tell myself it’s okay when I work throughout the weekend, but one of the best things I’ve done for myself has been to (when possible) take at least one day for myself. No blogging, no clients, and (when I can manage it) no social media. It might NOT be for you, but I highly recommend trying it at some point. Quieting my mind and letting my body and mind relax a little has been wonderful for my productivity and health — and happiness.

  • Tiggs

    Thank you Molly for this reminder of self care and orgasms. Routine is so important to that process and it’s one I also let go of as I work from home a lot too.

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