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On the first submission – Guest Post

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This piece was sent to me by @billiousone for the current Kink of the Week topic which is nipple play. He does not have his own blog and so asked me to post it on his behalf. He is very excited to be sharing his work as writing is very new to him.

On the first submission By @billiousone

When talking to a mistress I haven’t seen before I tend to describe myself as “not really very submissive” and “more of a sensual masochist.” I have grovelled on plenty of floors and licked my share of boots when that has been expected but more BECAUSE it was expected than because I felt particularly subservient or slave-like in the presence of the mistress. The mistresses with whom I have sought repeat bookings have created interesting and challenging journeys for me, exposed me to new sensations, both painful and sensual, and encouraged me to test and then expand the limits of my tolerance for pain under their firm but supportive guidance.

So meeting Mistress E, that was how I explained what I was looking for.  Seeing a mistress for the first time is always a little scary as I am in effect asking a complete stranger to tie me up and hit me. That is a request with a wide range of possible outcomes, not all benign. However once she had me tied to her cross it was clear I was in the hands of an experienced and skilled practitioner of the kinky arts and I started to relax. She began with mild sensual teasing and gradually built the pressure, looking into my eyes and listening to my breathing to gauge my responses. In return I gave feedback to guide her, whispering an extended “yessss” as she squeezed my sensitive nipples for the first time. She realised (correctly) that this works for me and so built up the level of challenge over the next 30 minutes or so.

She moved me from the cross to a chair, kneeling in front of me and working with clamps, her hands and her teeth. Finally she had me at my absolute limit: rivers of sensation running through me from the twin sources in my nipples; back arched, every muscle straining; breathing ragged as I sucked in air and tried to stay on top of a surge of pain that threatened to engulf me; safe-word rising unbidden from my subconscious.

And then she stopped.

Peace and complete silence; the pain washing away as my breathing steadied; the wonderful subspace calm that a release of endorphins can create. Completely unselfconsciously I leaned forward slightly and rested my head on her shoulder. “That’s right,” she whispered, “give yourself to me” for she was experienced enough to recognise that that is what I had done. In that moment I was totally hers. She was both the source of my pain and the relief from it and my whole world had reduced to the small space we occupied. I had submitted myself to her utterly.

This session was a few of months ago and, though I have had sessions with others, I have yet to go back to Mistress E. Perhaps that moment of submission was so perfect I have worried that anything less would seem an anti-climax. Actually, though, the process of writing it down has bought me a sense of completion, closure even, and I think I may be ready to see her again. Where’s that number…….

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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (3)

  • Twiglet at hundred acres

    Dear /BilliousOne
    Thank you for sharing there are not many male subs who write about their experiences and in particular its new for more to read about submission from a male subs view about their interactions with a professional Domme. I loved how you talked about the zeroing in of your world and the way it focuses so totally, and as someone who loves her nipples being played with, I can see how that would take you there. 🙂 I also understand the fear of somehow next time not being as good, fear of disappointing them, but interesting you feared the experience in an abstract sense can’t compete so you feared it would diminish your view of Her? humbly twigs.

  • Jane

    What a wonderful post. There is such a ‘realness’ to it, thanks to all those lovely physical details you’ve included – ‘back arched, every muscle straining’. And I can absolutely feel the intensity of your responses, too, to Mistress E’s ministrations through your words.

    It sounds like it was a fabulous, fabulous scene …

    Jane xxx

  • sub-Bee

    This is such a lovely description, I can almost feel myself in your position.

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