What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

by Molly Moore

20th May 2011

A 30 Days Of Kink Post

Right now, I would say I have a love/hate relationship with all things online. Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet, without it I would be even more isolated in my life than I am currently am. The life of a single parent does not lend itself well to an active social life. I am blessed that I have a great group of great online friends meaning that I can socialise without having to leave the comfort of my front room…..or more importantly leave 2 children home alone, not an advisable option, or so I am told!

The internet has provided me with some of my greatest friends and relationships, and without it I really do think my life would be a much poorer and duller place and of course I have to mention my blog. My blog has been my place for well over a year now, I have worked hard on it and I am pleased with what I have achieved, it get visitors from all over the world, lots of comments and it too has found me some amazing friendships that have sustained me through the ups and downs life brings.

Of course there is one reason above all others that I love the web and that is Him, without the internet there is absolutely no way that we would have found each other. The chances that we would have ever come across each other in another way are just so remote as to be nonexistent and even now, without the internet it would not be possible for us to spend all our time together in the way we do. To share our mutual worlds pretty much 24/7 yet still be miles apart would be impossible and so I very much doubt our relationship would have the strength and power that it does, without the online time we have.

So what of the hate? Well I have come to loath it in many respects, I have written before, of the terrible longing for Him that I carry with me each and every day and so although I am glad we have the internet and all the contact it affords us, I will be so very happy when I don’t have to rely on it to see Him, or hear Him and when we will no longer have to suffer the agony of not being able to touch.

Have I wandered slightly off topic? I don’t think so really, because without really explaining about how online has played such an important role in my kink world, I don’t think my opinion on the subject would really give a full picture.

I think online BDSM play is a great thing and the internet is a wonderful resource for people interested in kink. It has allowed many people to reach out to others, who they would have otherwise remained totally isolated from and enabled them to explore their kinky selves. Online play gives, especially the novice, a place to really venture into BDSM in a much safer and more controlled environment. You can act our your desires, test your limits and learn a great deal about yourself without having to put yourself in what could be a potential harmful situation.

Having said that, like all things online, it has, is, and will continue to be a method for some unscrupulous people to prey on others, not necessarily in the physical sense but also in the emotional sense too, just like real life play/dating, it should be approached with caution, sensible precautions should be taken and trust should be earned not freely given.

I would say I cut my submissive teeth online, not just through play but through the huge wealth of information that is available. I think for many, knowing that you are not alone in your ‘kink’ and it seems an all too common story that many people have at one time or another felt that way, can be an incredibly liberating experience.

Of course now I find myself in a position were online play is my life blood, and yet I crave the day when it being the main source of my D/s relationship is over. I can’t wait for us to be together, not just for a week, or a fortnight, or even a month but forever. I hope that then I can look back on this time and cherish those moments but I know I would never want to go back to online play/relationship ever again.

Mollyxxx

Ps… One final point that just came to mind as I was reading this post back, I think the biggest problem about online is that people can so easily become trapped in it, for a huge variety of different reasons and I would say that it has its place, but in the long-term, it should not become the main event. We all need to be touched and as long as online adds something to your life then all good, but when it becomes your life, then I think it is time to take a step back and make sure that it is still healthy and positive for you.

Check out The 30 Days Of Kink page to find more posts like this……

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6 comments

Clive May 20, 2011 - 12:48 pm

Nice bit of balanced reasoning there, Molly – great post to read and ponder xxx

Reply
V May 20, 2011 - 1:31 pm

I totally agree Miss Molls… I enjoy online “fun” because it provides another aspect of fantasy. However, if that were my only access to “love, sex, being touched”, I’d go crazy.

Your love will be with you soon, we’ll still have your blog, I’ll still think that you are one of the most amazing women in the world and you’ll always be my friend.

When he is WITH you… IN your home, IN your bed, INSIDE you… you’ll have it ALL.

Love always,

your friend.

Reply
mollyskiss May 20, 2011 - 9:28 pm

My darling V….

I doubt the ‘most amazing women in the world’ bit very much but thank you never-the-less.

As for when he is with you, you are spot on, then it will be OUR home, OUR bed and the inside bit….well thats ALL His…LOL

Love you sexy lady

Mollyxxx

Reply
duchess May 20, 2011 - 7:23 pm

Thank you for your post today Molly. As usual you seem to have the answer before I ask the question. Just in case I’ve not mentioned it lately, thank you for being who you are to me.

I think the hectic life and schedule I keep are the main contributing factor to why I find myself slipping between the keys for the caress of friendship, communication and validation. I certainly never anticipated it bringing more than that to my life. Although it has is more ways than I truly wish to acknowledge. I feel in love on line, my submission found it’s place of belonging on line. We have created a home on line. A reality for us that is vital to our success. Yet, it also makes it too easy to overlook the physical feeding of our flesh.

I’ve been feeling the ravenous need for touch the past few days. No matter how loud I scream for it, it is not to be at this time. I will continue to make him aware of my need using the power of our on line communication. Yet, I am stepping away from the key board and becoming more involved in my real world where hands touch and hair gets tugged. Where laughter is heard and a tear can be wiped away by a hand that doesn’t truly understand but can feel the moisture of my emotion.

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mollyskiss May 20, 2011 - 9:26 pm

awww Duchess what a lovely thing to say.

I can sympathise with it not being something planned or anticipated, I never went looking for an online relationship, in fact quite the oppposite, but when you find the man who completes your very soul, none of that seemed to matter any more.

Mollyxxx

Reply
Catharine May 20, 2011 - 11:39 pm

I’m a 25 year old virgin and the only action I’ve ever had has been via words and pictures on a PC screen. It doesn’t actually bother me right now, I don’t feel like I’m in any rush to lose my virginity at the moment. But I know I will at some point.

Reply

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