“Divorce is an ending and a terribly painful one at that, but it is also a beginning. My advice to anyone looking at that door and trying to decide whether it’s opening or closing is don’t over think it. Shave yours legs, spritz on some perfume, don that lace thing you bought in an optimistic moment, slip into a pair of heels that make you feel sexy and bold, and let the momentum carry you ahead” ~ Available by Laura Friedman Williams
I love this book!
Despite the fact that I have taken to reading a lot more books again this past year or so I rarely write about them in this space but this book definitely warrants sharing here. (If you do want to see what else I have read this year though, check out this thread on Twitter)
Available by Laura Friedman Williams (affiliate link) is a memoir written by Laura in the wake of finding out her husband of 27 years has been having an affair and is leaving her. Despite being absolutely floored by the discovery and completely heartbroken she decides to basically do what the quote above says and ventures out to find out, well, she doesn’t know at the time but turns out that what she finds is her sexual self.
So many women are faced with suddenly finding themselves starting over in their 40’s and 50’s but no one ever really writes about that and when they do it is nearly always about finding love again. They meet a new man who rescues them from their singeldom and they now live happily ever after. A classic romance story if you will. Whereas this book, is also a romance but one where Laura finds herself, he own sexual agency and prowess and eventually a realization that monogamy and goal orientated love is not what she is looking for. Along that way it details her dating triumphs and mishaps and shines a light of female sexual desire and reconciling the roles of being a sexual woman and a Mother.
The writing is open and honest and often times very raw and VERY relatable. I too have done the, sleeping with a guy so you can get out of there, scenario. It is not something men ever experience, that fear which makes sleeping with them seem like the better option than trying to leave, but it is a common story for many women. There are also some laugh out loud moments too, probably most notably the dogs! (I won’t spoil it, you will have to read it)
If you are in your 40’s or 50′ and starting over, heading out dating and/or exploring open relationships then this is totally for you and if you are a younger woman, then read it too and be mindful. You never think you are going to be Laura or me but chances are some of you will be. Find you voice now. Be yourself now. Don’t wait but if you have then don’t fear what comes next, buy some good lingerie, sign up on a dating app and go and see what is available to you too.