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My clit and me

cropped image of molly's fingers in her cunt showing her clit

“The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.” – Sigmund Freud 

I was in my mid twenties when I had my first orgasm. It was not the first time I masturbated but it was the very first time I had ever used a sex toy. A vibrator that I bought from one of the ads in the back of a dirty magazine. Yes I am that old. It was that toy which unloked the mystery of my orgasm and I say mystery because I really had no idea how to make myself come prior to that.

The internet didn’t exist back then and the books my Mum had given me as a young person had been very biologically factual and whilst the clitoris was mentioned and shown on the diagram at no point in the book did it explicitly state that stimulation of the clit was the key to my orgasms. I genuienly had absolutely no idea and before you wonder I assume that none of the partners I had been with up to that point knew either, or if they did cared to do nothing about it.

That gold vibrator changed everything. I was playing around with it. Rubbing it up and down my labia because it felt nice and well one thing, or should I say place led to another and before I knew it I was having my first orgasm. Not only did it feel fantastic but it was the most amazing moment for me as suddenly I understood. The vital bit of missing information had been unlocked and with it came my orgasms.

I set about wanking at a furious pace. Enjoying my new found super power morning and night and happily sharing it with my then partner too. For all his faults he was very enthusiastic about vibrators and dildos. It was him who had suggested buying it in the first place and I am damn glad he did.

That was over 20 years ago. I have had 2 children in that time, 2 husbands and a variety of lovers but me and my clit have stayed the best of friends through it all. Next year I will be 50. I have some early signs of the menopause and some niggling worries about how that might effect my sex drive but so far it has had no impact. In fact that is not completely true, of anything I am as horny as I ever was, maybe even more so and I am also wetter than I have been at previous times in my life. I am not complaining obviously.

My body has changed a huge amount over the years from that very first orgasm to the one I had last night but my clit has remained central to that process. The sex toys have come and gone too. Although I do still have that first toy. It no longer works but I keep it because it was special, because it changed everything and taught me how to make myself come and I have doing so very succesfully ever since.

mollys fingers pushing into her cunt showing of her clit
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  • Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker, Director of Operations @Eroticon Find me in my corner of the internet at Molly's Daily Kiss and on Twitter @mollysdailykiss

  • Show Comments (2)

  • Jayden Vincente

    Beautiful! Both the picture and your love for your body. <3

  • Dave

    The title of this is about the clit, but the article is also a lot about masturbation. It struck a chord with me and wondered if I could share my own experiences.

    I never was a teenage wanker. My first orgasms were all involuntary. They occurred as wet dreams, which really are lovely, except that you’re only semi-conscious when they happen. You wake up feeling very relaxed, covered in a sea of cum containing enough sperm to fertilise the entire population of Castle Anthrax. It’s also a little embarrassing when it’s still your Mum who washes the sheets.

    Teenage boys are brimming with hormones. These hormones are unpredictable. They give you long-lasting erections at the most inopportune moments, and these can be impossible to deal with in polite company. It’s a stereotype that teenage boys are constantly masturbating, and I don’t know why I didn’t do this, perhaps I just didn’t know how to do it properly. I mean, I played with it for a little pleasure but didn’t know how to take it the whole way to ejaculation.

    I was 21 (almost 22) when I properly discovered wanking, probably later than most men. It was around the time that I took my first foreign holiday with two male friends. The three of us were in a Spanish beach resort trying hopelessly to interest any girls in having sex (or anything) with us. It was possibly sun cream that got me a bit more excited than ever before, and I think I experimented with baby oil, which properly got me off. Neither are really ideal sexual lubricants. So here I was sneaking back from the beach to the hotel room, to experiment with my new found skill. I felt rather pleased with myself.

    These weren’t the only orgasms I had had though. In the intervening years I had managed to chalk up a few sexual experiences with actual women, who possessed actual vaginas. This felt amazing, and possibly even better due to the fact that on the occasions that I had actual sexual intercourse I always had a good build-up of accumulated semen. No surprise that I was always ready to go again after just a few minutes. The joys of youth.

    The rest of the story is normality. Masturbation has always been available to me since then as an extra release, perhaps to help me to sleep, or to fill in gaps when I was not in a relationship, and even when I was. It even got me through the period towards the end of my marriage when I was convinced I would never have sex again. Thank you right hand.

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