Peri-menopause is HARD.
The weather this week has been some serious winter business. Also known as damn cold. The upside is that it has not rained and there have been beautiful blue skies during the day even though the frost lingered on the ground.
It made me want to get out and explore. Sadly I had company on my walk on Friday when the frost was at it’s most beautiful but then today when I opened the curtained it was as close to winter white wonderland as it can be without any actual snow. Frozen mist had clung to everything. Every tree, every bush was dusted with white and their was a thick mist hanging in the the air. It was stunning.
I should have grabbed my camera and warm clothes and legged it over the fields but I will absolutely honest and say I slept really badly last night as the peri-menopause night anxiety monster kept waking me up. It is one of the worst things about this time, the anxiety but in particular the night anxiety.
I wake up with a start and instantly I am on alert. Something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong leaps into my brain, my heart speeds up, my breathing catches and I can feel the little tug of fear and even the beginning of panic in my chest. Nothing is wrong, I think.
I go to the toilet, lay back down, and focus on breathing and thinking about nothing in particular. Fairly quickly I fall back asleep.
I played that game at least 4 times last night. So leaping out of bed to take photos in the beauty of the winter outside was just not on the cards for me today. Hopefully there will be another morning like this one and maybe I won’t be so tired.
But for now I am using it as an excuse to share a picture I took in similar weather many years ago that I never posted here.
I have written more posts about Peri-menopause and HRT which you can find on this link. I will try and right some more updates soon as the last few months have felt like a challenge and I am struggling to feel as positive about the whole things as I was when I wrote those posts.
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