A little money – Findom thoughts

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In case you are unaware Financial Domination is also often known as Findom and is a type of power exchange relationship where the submissive gives money/gifts to the dominant partner. This post talks about my thoughts around this subject and whilst it is not my kink I am definitely not yucking anyone elses yum and if it is yours I would love to read more about why.

All the things I could do
If I had a little money
It’s a rich man’s world
~ ABBA

It’s a rich man’s world. True when these lyrics where written in 1976 and even truer now. It has always been a rich mans world to some extent but now those rich men have wealth that is beyond anything you can even imagine. It is more than yachts and private jets, it is an amount of money that is beyond what any one person could ever need or want. It’s immoral but this post is not a rant about the evils of capitalism but thoughts on the kink of financial domination.

Sometimes when a kink is not one that particularlly works for me I will write a piece of fiction. Even if it is not my kink I can usually still see how, or why, it is hot to other people and if I can do that then I play with that in my head and write a story. When I planned out he Kink of the Week prompts for this year and decided to do this one I wrote a note in my spreadsheet that just said fiction but as the date for this prompt approached I was struggling to come up with anything.

No matter how I play with it in my head, whether from the view point of someone being a findom or from the finsub point of you I just couldn’t seem to make it work. Sure I could write the mechanics of it but the thrill, excitment, arousal part elluded me and I think that is because this is one of the rare kinks that not only doesn’t really float my kinky boat it actually makes me uncomfortable and so sexualising it in any form is a real struggle.

I want to be clear here that if your are into Findom in any way, then how I feel about it is absolutely no shade to you. I have no judgement for anyone exploring their kinks in a risk aware, consensual manner. In fact if you are into it then I really hope you write it somewhere because I would love to read about why, and how, it works for you from both sides of the coin… see what I did there? *grins

Of course findom is not always about money or giving up control of your finances. It can be about gifting, both money and other gifts but that doesn’t really change how I feel about it. I like buying gifts for the people I love and care for but I also find gift buying extremely stressful. I overthink it and worry that they will be disappointed. I know this is learned from past experiences of buying gifts for someone that have been rejected or that illicted a response that showed their disappointment but it is a response that I struggle to shake off. I do love buying something for someone I love if I see something that I know they will like but I am also a big fan of people having a gift list so I can buy something I know they want.

When it comes to reciveing gifts I do love to get them. I feel like most people do but asking someone to buy my things mostly doesn’t work for me. I say mostly because I have had a couple of public gift lists over the years but I only created them in response to people asking me to do one. I actually had no expectations of anyone using them and the couple of times they have it has been absolutely lovely. In fact one time ultimatly lead to that person and I having a delicious sex filled meet up.

The gift buying in those circumstances was not in any way related to a power exhcange type of situation was more a form of flirtation or in the case of the other times about friendship.

I don’t think I would ever be comfortable having findom as part of a kinky relationship I was in regardless of which role I was in. Its just one of those kinks where really no aspects of it appeals to me in anyway.