Watching myself

“Look in the mirror” he says as he grabs a handful of my hair and tugs my head back so I am watching myself get fucked.

My hands are firmly planted on the dining table in front of me. Legs kicked wide, hips tilted backwards opening myself to him. I can feel the warmth of him pressed up against the back of my thighs and buttocks. One of his hands grasping my hair the other my hip, his fingers digging into the soft flesh.

The large gilt framed mirror dominates the room reflecting our daily life in this room back to us. We eat in this room, we cook in the kitchen beyond it. We welcome friends, talk to the kids, at Christmas you can see my tree reflected in this glass but today, today I am watching him fuck me over the dining table.

My skirt is pulled up round my waist. His jeans are halfway down his thighs. In the mirror we look fully clothed. It doesn’t show below the table but even so there is no mistaking what is happening. If there was a voyeur within the mirror, if it was a two way mirror, the mystery person beyond would be under no illusions about what they were seeing. Even if they couldn’t here him as he says

“Watch yourself getting fucked”

The way he moves behind me, the look in my eye, the flushed heat of my face would give it away,

The thought of being watched makes me dip my head in shame. I can’t look myself in the eye for a moment or him but he is insistent. Probably because he can feel my wetness coating his cock and balls and the way my cunt tightens on him when he makes me see myself and so again he pulls back on my hair and I have no choice. Either close my eyes or watch.

And so I watch

We both do.

I watch the way he moves as he trusts his thick hard cock into my willing cunt. I see as he looks down between our bodies to admire the sight of his dick pushing in and out of me and witness the little hitch in breathing as he does and then as his eyes come back to the mirror to see us both how he slows his pace, almost holding me still for a moment as he tries to starve off his orgasm for just a little bit longer.

I look at my face, lips parted and cheeks flushed with heat. Little tendrils of hair clinging to the slight dampness on my forehead and cheeks. My eyes are wide, transfixed on the scene of my fucking that is being played out before more. I look at him, how he moves, I watch his eyes as he watches me, I look at myself. There is absolutely nothing like watching yourself getting fucked.

I am fairly sure watching myself as been a kink of mine my whole sexual life. When I was about 10 my Mum bought me a book about ‘my changing body’ etc. In it there was a diagram of what mysteries lurked between my thighs and it suggested getting a mirror and looking at yourself and finding all the things labelled on the diagram on yourself. I did as it instructed and have pretty much been using a mirror to look at my pretty pleasure giving cunt ever since.

My discovery of this kink though really came when Michael and I were still in an long distance relationship. We spent a lot of hours on Skype calls. Most of our days in fact and obviously when were apart it was how we indulged in our sex life. I would often masturbate for Michael with the lap top on the bed between my legs so he could watch and direct and tell me all the dirty filthy things he planned to do to me. It was during those times when I realised that as much as I was watching him in the screen, his face and sometimes his cock too if he was wanking at the same in the little smaller video that showed me my screen I was also loving watching myself.

I think it is part of why I love the self portrait photography too. Something about seeing myself in this way is hugely powerful to me. Yes it can be a turn on but it is more than that. It has helped me have truly intimate relationship with my own body and helped me to love and accept it as it is.

I am definitely my own happy voyeur and when it comes to masturbating and fucking watching myself just adds another hot dimensions to me. We used to rig up my camera years and cast it to the big screen and then he would fuck me on the sofa so I could watch it. The bit I loved best was watching his hips and back move as he fucked me. That view, something about it, is absolute fire to me. Damn I miss those days. I would love to do that again one day.

We have a new dining room now. Same table but different mirror. I hope one day I get to watch myself in that mirror too. Braced over the table, legs spread, his dick buried in me and his hand in my hair forcing me to watch myself getting fucked. Making me see what a dirty desperate little fuckhole I am and how much I love watching myself like this