Slutty Desires

I have a lot of slutty desires many of which I have written about here and explored over the last 8 years or so but one particular area has been neglected, up until now…

I wrote this tweet earlier this week before I even knew what the Wicked Wednesday prompt was; I am, because we are.

“Ubuntu (Zulu pronunciation: [ùɓúntʼù])[1] is a Nguni Bantu term meaning “humanity.” It is often translated as “I am because we are,” or “humanity towards others,” but is often used in a more philosophical sense to mean “the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity.”[2]” ~ Ubuntu philosophy 

Despite the fact that he and I have known each other for quite a number of years and been very close friends for a fair few of them this last year has seen that shift from friendship to partners and as a result we have talked a great deal about what we want that to look like and what our needs are when it comes to relationship. It has actually been a really interesting and thought-provoking exercise that has seen us both put a great deal of thought into the subject and resulted in really open and honest conversation about what is important to us and how we can always be the best partners to one another.

It is a conversation that is always ongoing and will continue to evolve with us as we evolve and that is actually the key to being good partners in my opinion; Continuing that conversation forever and learning to grow and adapt with one another along the way. Who we are today and who will be tomorrow, both as a couple and as individuals, is always changing. Embracing that and discovering those things together and supporting each other in whatever way we can is something we believe is fundamental us. Partnership is absolutely key.

One of the areas though where this has been absolutely amazing to me is his encouragement and support of me exploring with others. It is not something I have experienced before. In fact quite the opposite which lead me to having really complicated feelings about my slutty desires and attraction to other people. I learned to suppress it and actually found myself feeling guilty and even ashamed of it at times. It was not a good or healthy place to be in and whilst  I worked hard to try and change that dynamic within my previous relationship in a way that open and honest it didn’t really make any difference and whilst it was most definitely not the reason for our relationship ending it was one of the areas in which it was apparent we just couldn’t find common ground.

Finding that with him is something that makes me so very happy. Being able to freely express my desires and fantasies around that subject is so liberating and quite frankly hot as fuck to me and turns out is hot as fuck to him too. Not only is he comfortable sharing and letting me explore but he is actively engaging with me about it and in it. It doesn’t feel like something I am going off and doing on my own but something we share together. He is as much a participant as an observing that is truly like a dream come true for me.

I am definitely a person who thrives with a ‘partner in crime’. I like, maybe even need, to have a person and be someones person. It works for me but I also know I am attracted to other people and want to have the chance to explore that at times. The joy now is that not only do I have a person who is happy for me to do that they are along for the ride with me. They are turned on by it, they encourage and support me and recently it appears they are an actual enabler, reaching out to a potential person on my behalf. To be clear this is hot as fuck to me and something I encouraged and consented too. I am most definitely not chattel to be offered around… although actually having written that I know that consensually in the right circumstances, I would be totally up for that.

I feel like for the first time in a very long time I am able to really express my inner slutty desires without fear of upsetting anyone. It is taking some getting used to and I do keep finding myself double checking and even second guessing at times. Suppressing those parts of me so long meant those responses have become very ingrained and changing that is not something that is going to flip over night or even in the space of a few months but slowly I am gaining confidence and learning to trust in his responses to me.

I have long talked about how I would like to have another MFM threesomes and I have a myriad of fantasies that surround that dynamic. I like the idea of being shared, or being watched, and being offered to others. Being used is a huge kink for me and those fantasies definitely tap into that. To be honest I had in recent years started to believe that I would never get to experience that side of my slutty desires and it made me sad. Finding myself here with a partner who is not only supportive but actively engaged with my desires in this way me makes me so very happy.