Seat Belts for Sex

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Condoms, French Letters, Johnny’s, Rubbers, Raincoat, Jimmy Hat, Love-glove, Sheath, there are a myriad of different names for them and they have been around in some form or other for thousands of years. In fact for much of human history they were the sole form of contraception. With the arrival of HIV/AIDS condoms suddenly took on a whole new level of importance and a product that had fallen out of fashion was now suddenly a must have item in the pursuit of safe sex and the condom industry boomed as a result. Today condoms come in so many different flavours, both literally and figuratively speaking. There are different sizes, textures, colours, material and even variations of shape design and of course you can now buy female condoms. In this day and age condoms are no longer just a contraceptive they are a life saver.

In a past life (my first marriage) condoms were our contraception. I dabbled with the pill and a cervical cap at one point but the former hugely disagreed with me and the latter was just fiddly, time-consuming and not conducive to spontaneity in the slightest. My husband at time was happy using condoms, I can’t fault him for that, but once we had two children in did become a bone of contention between us as he would not have a vasectomy. I wanted the freedom from risk of pregnancy that always haunted me. I had and still have absolutely no desire for any more children but I definitely had a desire (which seemed to be on the increase) for lots of filthy sexy sex.

Fast forward to now and things are very different. I am in a relationship which involves lots and lots of filthy kinky sexy sex and to top it off none of that sex involves any risk of getting pregnant. As I said in my piece about semen;

“Have I mentioned that I think a vasectomy is the best fucking thing EVER? Clearly it’s not a solution for all but for me, with two children, absolutely no desire for more and with a massive cum fetish it was the most fabulous thing ever. I can’t tell you how many times I have told him that I love the fact he has had a vasectomy. No need for me to battle with horrible hormone solutions or put physical things into my body to make me infertile and no condoms. I can, quite literally, enjoy his cum everywhere without any worries.”

As far as I am concerned condoms are a wonderful thing. I constantly furnish my 16-year-old with them, to the extent that he has even said ‘For God sake Mum I have tons of them, stop giving them to me’ and when my daughter (who is currently 12) gets to an age where she might need them I will do exactly the same for her. I talk openly to both my children about sex, sexuality, bodies etc and that includes contraception. I want them, and have told them both, to have happy wonderful lovely sex lives, to enjoy their bodies both independently of others and with any partner they should happen to have. Contraception and especially safe sex contraception is a vital part of that when it comes to partnered sex.

So what of me and condoms; during my relationship with the gentleman who played a pivotal role in me discovering my sluttery and predilection for being sub we ventured out into the swinging world. Condoms were an absolute must. We never played with others without them and apart from on one occasions where one guy tried to fuck me without a condom (he regretted that stupid move I can tell you) everyone else we met and played with were all about the safe sex aspect; Condoms were the expected norm.

I don’t really like condoms, I know this is not very sex positive but for me they are a necessary thing in order to have safe sex. As far as I am concerned there is nothing inherently sexy about condoms, apart from the fact that they allow for sexy things to happen but in and of themselves they leave me cold. I was about to write that I never had a sexual experience where the condom was a turn on to me but then I realised that was not 100% accurate. It was a massive turn on putting one on @Domsigns so he could fuck another woman while I watched. However even then the actual condom was not the turn on but what it signified was; getting him ready to take another woman, being complicit in that, an active participant as well as a voyeur, was supremely fucking hot.

Condoms never feature in my sexual fantasies EVER, likewise they rarely feature in my erotic fiction, unless, like the scene I described, above, their significance in the story has greater meaning. The same is true of me as a reader. I don’t need condoms in my erotic fiction, in fact I would go so far to say as that their inclusion in a story can and certainly has, on occasions totally jarred me out of the head space, especially when I sense that they may have been edited into a story at the request of an editor or publisher and you can nearly always tell because there will be the one random reference to it in the piece nearly always about the putting on the condom. After that it disappears, there is not mention of it being taken off and I have even read stories where the man wearing the condom then proceeds to pull out of female character and cum on her. One can only assume he either left the condom behind inside her (eww) or someone has lightening reactions and have practised condom removal so well that he can do it in a blink of an eye. However in my experience men seem fairly reluctant to snap them off in one swift movement. Can’t think why…

I know for some people they have fetishised the condom but I certainly have not. They are a wonderful thing, I would never dream of indulging in sexual activity with a partner I was not fluid bound with without one and I am grateful that I live in a culture and a country where they are widely available, but to me they are like seat belts for sex, you really need to use them to keep you safe while you enjoy the ride.