Just the two of us

“I love it best when it is just the two of us”

If you ask @domsigns how often I say those words to him I think the answer would be a lot. I will whisper it into his ear when we are not alone and declare it loudly when we are. At bed time as we snuggle up together it is last thing he hears before going to sleep and on lazy weekend mornings when the kids are gone to their Dads it will often be the first thing he hears. From the reactions I get to it I am fairly confident that he has yet to grow bored of me saying it and I hope that he never does, although he has promised to smother me and put us both out of our misery if that happens.

I have written before about being an introvert. @domsigns often teases me about ‘not liking people’ but it is not a matter of not liking them more just not being able to cope with people. I love my friends, I love the dinners out, the play events, the munches, the skype calls, the events etc. I would not want to give them up ever but when those moments are over, when it time to go home and say goodbye to our friends I will breathe a happy sigh, because although my ability to cope with people runs out, this is never true of @domsigns. He is the one exception to this rule, I love it best when it is just the two of us.

We just spent 3 weeks in America seeing friends and family. We took my kids with us and it was a truly wonderful trip but the moments for being just the two of us were very limited. Again, I wouldn’t change the trip for anything but one day I hope we get to have a holiday like that just the two of us. I like it best when it is just the two of us.

I love my kids, but anyone who is a parent will tell you that being a parent 24/7 is exhausting. Children invade your space, both mentally and physically like nothing else ever. They don’t know the meaning of companionable silence and their ability to wait for a parent’s attention is, quite frankly, nonexistent. It does seem to be improving as they age but parenting is a long marathon to a far off finish line, not a sprint. I love the weekends and little holidays they take with their Dad, to say I live for those precious weekends would not be an understatement. It does not mean I love my children any less, it just means I love it best with it is just the two of us.

When I got divorced I vowed that I would never get married again or even be in a closed monogamous relationship. I had spent too many years stuck in both and I was never going to repeat that. Now I know that ‘never say never’ should have been attached to that statement because what I had not anticipated was that I would meet another human being who would so radically change how I felt about those things. Although we are not strictly monogamous we are most definitely married and our relationship is definitely way more monogamous than I had imaged things would be when I made that promise to myself way back when. Since we have been married I have dabbled with having a girlfriend but very quickly discovered that what I thought I wanted was not what I actually wanted at all. We have also had a very successful and happy relationship with another woman, I am not sure we will ever find someone like that again but if we did that would be cool and this year we have indulged in some kink play with another man but for the most part we are monogamous and it turns out that I am really rather OK with that. Not that my mind does not play out various fantasies that involve other people and there is certainly a real person or two who often features in the filth in my mind but then I am not alone in that game, as he has his own versions that he likes to delve into. What the future holds for us with regards to this subject I don’t know but I like the way things are right now because I love it best when it is just the two of us.

The point of writing this piece is not to offer you yet another soppy ‘we are in love’ post as I suspect that is getting dull but to show that life can surprise you. I never expected to find someone who would get past my powerful introversion and desire for my own time and space in the way that he has. I still need respite from other people but oddly and for reasons I cannot really explain never from him. In fact I hate being apart from him. When I go to camera club I often sit there thinking, this would be much more fun and definitely funnier, if he was here and it is not just camera club where that thought happens but most places I go without him. I would hate to sound pathetic, like I cannot manage without him in a social setting, as anyone who has actually met me will hopefully testify that, that is not the case, it is however, always more fun with him than without. Likewise when it comes to monogamy, if 6 years ago you had told me I would give up all cock in favour of just one I would have completely dismissed you but it turns out that despite loving cock (and the men attached to them) so very much, I am quite happily enjoying restricting myself to just one because…

I love it best when it is just the two of us.