Cool Raùl

by Molly Moore
A Darker Flame Badge

The prompt for A Darker Flame this month is ‘A story based in the town of Cool’. I will admit that this one didn’t come easy to me. I spent hours pondering possible ideas but none of them really inspired me to start writing. In the end I sat down with a blank screen and wrote “Once upon a time in the town of Cool….” and stared at it for a LONG time. Finally a discussion about what rhymes with cool took place and the result is this dirty little poem/story.


Once upon a time in the town of Cool there lived a young man by the name of Raùl

He resided in a tiny cottage at the back of the pub, a sleazy run down joint that served revolting grub.

Despite his proximity to this dubious place, Raùl always hurried by with a downturned face

Avoiding the stare of the strange local folk, who gathered each night for a drink and a joke

Now the town of Cool was an odd little place, divided in two by a river named Grace

One side of town lived the respectable rich, the other was more like a poor dirty ditch.

Fine houses and gardens all perfectly clipped sat opposite shacks battered and chipped.

Now Raùl was a bright handsome young man, with dark curly hair and deep golden tan

Who worked on the gardens of the wealthy and posh in exchange for a payment of some of their dosh.

But in one of the houses lived a young girl called Clare, all bonny and pretty with long golden hair

She would watch out her window the days Raul came to work, half hidden by curtains she would loiter and lurk.

Dreaming of rough powerful hands on her pale skin, digging and groping and pulling her in

To a passionate embrace where bodies collide, making her inside twist and ride

As days turn tp weeks poor Clara she knew, that unless she got brave then watching was all she’d do

So slipping away in the dark of the night, she ventured cross Cool in search of what might

Finding his cottage she knocked at the door, whilst pondering how sad twas that he was poor

Hearing the knock Raùl jumped to his feet all happy and glad and ready to greet

The woman who came weekly to feast on his frame, abandoning her standing for this deviant game

But there on the steps waiting for Raùl, was a totally different and unexpected jewel

One of youthful innocence and virginal joy that looked to Raul like his new favourite toy

And nary a thought for his usual date, who was currently home and going to be late

He pulled the fair maiden in from the darkness of Cool and set about deflowering her in a hot sweaty pool

Of kisses and caresses that soon had her nude and doing all sorts of things terribly rude

Whilst back at her home her Mother did wonder if she would ever get out for her bit of thunder.

For Raul as he was fit as a fiddle, was happy to play both ends with his middle.

You may also like


Stranded March 25, 2014 - 12:07 pm

Very nicely done…wasn’t sure how poetry would work here (I can’t do poetry easily at all), but this was just fun. Loved the line “…making her inside twist and ride” in particular.


Lust for Love March 25, 2014 - 12:17 pm

Good storytelling skill ! Keep it up !

Marie Rebelle March 25, 2014 - 8:18 pm

This is just so cool! Love how you’ve told the story in rhyme!

Rebel xox

John March 27, 2014 - 12:04 am

I struggled so much with the prompt. I think the issue comes with wanting to make the town a central theme of the story. I can write any story and say that the characters are in Cool, or London, or Small-little-town-cum-big-village-on-yonder-river, but it doesn’t have anything special about the town, so I felt the prompt wouldn’t have fitted.

Love the poem; so gloriously dark.

Stranded, the next prompt … “There was a young lady from Buckingham, who was awfully fond of fu …” ;-P

Persephone Raya March 31, 2014 - 4:28 pm

This is brilliant! I really enjoyed it, fun but still sexy!


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: