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18th November 2011

I am really delighted to be able to bring you another amazing guest post on my blog for The Pussy Pride Project and the first one from a man too. The writer of this post discovered The Pussy Pride Project from my Twitter feed and when I mentioned writing something for it he jumped at the chance and by the end of the day this wonderful piece appeared in my email box. I really do urge you to read it, not only is it fascinating to hear about a man’s relationship with pussy but for me it was these words “My advice is always simply, it’s yours, a part of you, and it may not look like the expectations that have been laid before you, but it is beautiful if you believe in it.” that really made me want to just give this man a big gold sticker and probably a hug too.

Vaginacology

I think the best way for me to adequately describe my “pussy pride”, would be to go into my website, Vaginacology.com, what it is, and why it is that I do it. For those that aren’t familiar with Vaginacology.com, or the Guess Her Muff game, the brief synopsis is this: You’re presented with a photo of a woman, typically fully clothed, and you are presented with several choices as to how she might keep her pubic hair. Once you’ve submitted your guess, you’re presented with the unclothed answer. Superficially, a fun little guessing game with great user driven content. More subtly, it’s a glimpse into how we, ourselves, view others, what stereotypes we make based simply on appearances &  expectations. For some, it’s an eye-opening experience; not one to change your life or offer a great epiphany, just one that makes you open your mind a bit more. So why do I do it?

A comedian once said, “a man spends 9 months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of his life trying to get back in”. Probably not far from the truth, for many men his appreciation of the pussy is often only as deep as his need of it. A man’s view of the pussy is often skewed by society, upbringing, religion, stereotypes, media, and countless other misconceived notions that they’ve acquired through their existence. I was given the benefit of an early education in the female reproductive system; I was a bastard child being raised by 7 very open, honest, women. From menstruation to sex, grooming to masturbation & sex toy advice, I knew more about the vagina by 8 then the average gynecologist; and I knew it all from a woman’s perspective. Mind you, they never talked to me about it, this was information I was picking up by overhearing. I was a smart child with above average intelligence & incredible retention. However, my concepts of pussy were never clouded by any male input. There was no slang, no derogatory remarks, no judgement on the topic for me to learn anything bad from. There was no cable television then, and sexual topics were still banned by the FCC in media outlets, so I had no way of learning a single ill concept of what a pussy was perceived as aside from what I was learning by proxy at home. Those lessons boiled down to, basically, this: a pussy is a marvel, a wondrous thing that required attention, care, respect & love. It’s a gift when given, and was not to be abused.

Knowing that, I was still guilty of being a teenage boy, see the comedian’s comment previously. I couldn’t say that those early lessons where the turning point in my sincere appreciation of pussy, they laid a foundation for later in life. As a teenage boy I was bombarded with teenage male friends thoughts on the subject, I was over run with hormones, and was, for a time, as guilty of under-appreciating the vagina as any of my friends. I say it about my teenage son now, and I could, in retrospect, say it of myself, a teenage boy’s raison d`etre is to get his dick out of his pants and into your flower garden as quickly & as often as possible. There’s no love of pussy for a teenage boy at this age, it’s a yearning, craving, a primordial need. Because of that, I don’t think a real appreciation can be formed at this stage.

Fast forward yet again, the end of my 1st marriage (ages 17-26), a hard-working, better educated, adult who had only seen 1 vagina for over 10 years. I had been doing work for some adult entertainment companies, as a programmer, and was surrounded by guys, mostly fresh from college, that had barely, if ever, been laid. The typical young geeks & nerds with sheltered existences that people expect of programmers, and they lived up to the stereotype. They were cheap labor, they got paid to look at porn and talk about video games. Listening to them talk about pussy, about women in general, was both amusing & appalling at the same time. Their expectations, and their misinformation, were something to behold. As we became better acquainted we began to hang out more and more, out drinking at bars, sometimes I could get them to a club (after all, I was very aware of the benefits of getting laid), and I started  trying to open their eyes a bit. Somehow, some night, the Guess Her Muff game was born sitting in a bar (The Locust Bar in Philadelphia to be exact) watching women come through the door & the guys would guess at her grooming habits. More often than not, I would look at them as though they had 5 heads for how far off I knew they were. They were playing purely on stereotypes, “oh look an Asian girl, bet her pussy is hairy”, “that MILF is probably to busy to shave, probably trims it nice though”, “hot blonde, must be bald”, “looks high maintenance, probably get’s it Brazilian”. As often as I corrected them, as need be, they thought I was the crazy one for my guesses. Now, those that know me in real life, know that I am not afraid to approach someone and ask about the answer, and I do believe that seeing is believing. I was shocked by how many women were willing to actively participate, many actually sat down and played the game with us from time to time.

As the game went on, for many years, it grew into an almost anthropological study of women as well as of ourselves. I soon realized that I had a great deal of skill at knowing people, and I watched as the guys & girls around me learned from it as well. This is where the website began; part game, part study of people, fun & educational. I noticed that as I moved on into relationships I began paying more attention to the female flower, developed a deeper appreciation of each one, came to the realization that all pussies, yes ALL, are in fact beautiful in their own ways. I’ve seen that women & their vagina’s are often reflections of one another, a woman’s pride in herself is reflected in her care of her vagina, and that her pride in her vagina is the reflection of her self-esteem & confidence.

While Vaginacology may not be an actual science, I’m gifted every day with not only submissions, but with requests from women asking “is this normal”, “is it pretty”, “what do you think”, nearly every day. My advice is always simply, it’s yours, a part of you, and it may not look like the expectations that have been laid before you, but it is beautiful if you believe in it.

I was researching a project for work and came across a quote, “There is healing in the womb” (Sunni Proverb), which has always stuck in my mind. While it could be interpreted in many ways, by many people, it holds true in every respect.

Rob.

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Ps… If you fancy having a go at playing along with the ‘Guess Her Muff’ game then make sure you check out Vaginacology.com and you can also follow them on Twitter @vaginacology .

Pps… Would you like to write something for the Pussy Pride Project? If so I really want to hear from you. You can email me at [email protected]. To read more about the Pussy Pride Project, find the code for the button or leave a link to your post on your blog, if you have one, then click on the icon below. So far there are 25 links there, could yours be next?