13 May 2011
Period, time of the month, Aunty flo, I’m on, got the painter and decorators, and the one I truly hate, the curse; there are so many names for it, but whatever it is you call it, it is a fact of life. It is, or has been a regular part of every woman’s life and by proxy the men in her life too, yet for many women it is still something that they feel uncomfortable with.
When I first met Sir I was definitely of the opinion that my period was something that got in the way of my sex life, it was something I dreaded and believed made me unattractive. I was of the firm opinion that men would not come near a woman who was having her period, that for most men it was a total turn off, maybe even disgusting and so I had come to loath and hate mine. Period = no sex as far as I was concerned.
So you can image the horror and anxiety I encountered when I realised that during my very first trip to see Sir I was due to have my period. After much silent worrying about how this event would mean that for a good few days of my trip he would not want to come near me I finally blurted out my fears to Him. They were greeted with a smile and a very gentle “silly girl” as he explained to me that my fears were completely unfounded, but you don’t get over this type of deep-rooted hang up just like that and although I felt calmer about it, it still continued to niggle away inside my brain.
I remember the moment like it was yesterday, he had gone to work when it started and I felt my heart sink and the rational side of brain immediately started to do full on battle with the not so rational side. By the time he got back from work I was dressed and ready to go out, anything to put off the moment. I don’t know how he knew, but he took my hand and pulled me to my feet and kissed me, long and hard and deep before tilting my face up to him and saying…. “I know, and it will be OK and later tonight I will show you that this makes no difference to me wanting you or having you”
Later that night he did exactly that, with a tender passion that left me breathless and spent, laying on the bed with a stupid smile on my face until I saw the mess. Immediately my heart skipped a beat and I was up out of the bed apologising. We had laid a towel down so it wasn’t on the clean white hotel sheet but it was certainly on the both of us. The only word I could use to describe my feelings at that point where mortification. Over and over again I kept saying sorry, sorry, oh god I am sorry. It took a pretty firm “stop it” for me to reign it in.
“It doesn’t matter my love, if this was you’re cum and mine mingled together would you be worried?”
“Of course not” I replied “but that’s different”
“No it’s not, this is our cum mingled together with a little bit of colour added. Now, let’s go and shower”
He led me to the bathroom, turned on the taps and once it was hot draw me under the water with Him and washed me and at that moment it felt more like he was washing away my worries and anxieties than anything else.
Since that day he has shown me many times that I am sexy and desirable to Him no matter what, even when I am dishevelled and tired, emotional and snotty and even when I have my period. I won’t say that the worry has completely gone, it is something I have lived with most my adult life, and every now and again it raises its ugly head and I can feel those old insecurities seeping back in but as a general rule I know now and I am comfortable with the fact that even when I have my period he still wants me, desires me and will continue to use me at His whim for His pleasure and ultimately for mine.
So I know he still finds me sexy when I have my period but whether I am or not is another matter altogether, posting this picture makes my heart race and I can feel my face starting to warm with an embarrassed flush. It has taken a lot of guts to put this out there but it is me, a part of me that is truly female. I refuse to be ashamed of any part of me, especially this one.