16th March
I am not a big fan of orgasm denial. I like cumming, the feeling beforehand when my pussy twitches at just the thought, the flow of juices as I play and then that rolling, pulsing, feeling as my orgasm flows through me and then finally those breathless spent moments as I lay and recover. Why would I enjoy being denied that?
As a general role I don’t. In fact a previous play partner who enjoyed saying no way too much, found that I got grumpy, crabby and sullen when it went on for days and days and without an end in sight but what about orgasm control? That is a whole different matter altogether.
My orgasms are controlled by Him. There is absolutely NO CUMMING without His permission, and it is a hard and fast rule and one I know if I chose to break would bring me severe punishment. I have never broken it, and don’t intend to now, even though he has made it much harder for me this week by the task he has set me.
I am to masturbate twice a day, for 10 minutes each time, but I am NOT allowed to cum. If I feel like I can’t control it any more than I can pause and get myself under control again but I cannot cut short the total time. It’s only Wednesday, there are another 2 whole days of this agony left before He will be here and my reward for all this waiting will then be mine.
I am like a bitch on heat today, my juices keep leaking out, and my panties are constantly damp. I can feel my aching throbbing clit grazing against the seam in my jeans. The shower is the worst, spreading my lips so that I can shave them clean and smooth leads to fingers, touching, probing, until I am growling in frustration and agony at the need to cum but I won’t give in to it. I won’t! I won’t! I won’t!
The reason I won’t is because I know if I did, I would only be disappointed in myself and that even though at first it would be a relief it would also be an empty, lonely relief. I don’t want to cum for my fingers anymore; I have done that too much of late. I want to cum on His fingers; I want to feel His cock in me as my body finally submits to His again. I want to cum for Him, for His touch, looking into His eyes as I do. I will wait for Him now to release me from this torment. Is it Saturday yet?
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