19th July 2010
I miss him. I am used to living with my body missing him, the dull constant ache for his touch is something I carry with me all the time when we are apart but this weekend has been different, difficult and a new test for me and I miss him so. I miss seeing him, watching him as he goes about his day, waking, washing, dressing, eating, and even sleeping, my eyes feasting on the man I love. I miss hearing him, his voice the last thing I hear as I drift off to sleep; the words of love and desire that he speaks to me have been missing this weekend. I miss sharing my day with him; I miss talking, laughing and having fun with him. I miss my body reacting to him words and commands. I miss showing him my body and I miss cumming for him.
My mind constantly wanders to thought of him and us and a smile always crosses my face when I do. I reach up to my neck; it is there, the constant physical reminder that I am his possession. I wear it all day every day, I am proud to have his collar round my neck, I am proud to be his. I touch it often, even more so when I miss him, it connects me to him and when my fingers turn the small bead that lays in the hollow of my throat I feel safe, secure, loved and most of all close to him.
Tonight I have taken the t-shirt out of its bag and laid it across my pillow as I write. I press my nose into the folds of the fabric and draw his scent in. I wish I could get his scent onto my skin, but for now I have to make do with this. I miss his voice and his face and company but tonight I will not miss his scent, tonight I will lay with him and let my minds imagination bring him to me.
I keep the t-shirt well wrapped, I want to preserve that scent, it fades with time and I am careful to not let that happen to quickly but now it only has to last another 11 days and then I shall no longer miss him, not even his touch, or his smell or his kiss. In 11 days the missing will be over for now and I shall be back by his side, back in his bed and he will make me his all over again. Until then, I miss him.
Mollyxxx
ps…..todays song is a gentle little piece that always remind me of him. One of his many missions is to teach me about all the music I seem to have missed out on over the years, this song is something he shared with me a while ago now and I feel in love with the first moment I heard it, abit like falling in love with him really! Hope you enjoy it……
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5 comments
This post truly touched me, and I love how you seem to verbalize what’s in my heart in my own relationship. You have a gift for expression that is breathtaking. xoxoxo
Molly this was not just beautiful, it was precious. How I remember such moments and what they meant to me the last time I was in love. Your days together are almost here dear heart. Your blog is so elevating.
I can truly feel what your feeling in your writing and now I can hardly wait for you to be reunited!!……
I read this the first time, but I didn’t READ this the first time. Went through today cleaning out files I saved this link or that link in… found this… really READ it (and listened to it). So I cried a little; remembered a time when Christopher Robin and Pooh and the 100 acre wood in those little tiny books were my refuge from a drunk father and a hope-lost mother. I remembered how I swore my sons would never see that, when they lay in their cribs playing with their Pooh Bear mobile.
So much we can never be re-united with, not with the lost peace of a decent childhood, not with the wonderful rush of a decent fatherhood, but you CAN be reunited with him, and again, and again, and again, and again, until it’s not necessary anymore. I envy you that. This song reminds you of what you do not have now, but you WILL have it, and you will again and again as I said.
Thank you, Molls… very much…..
G