There are not many rules or rituals that are part of our D/s relationship. I don’t have daily tasks or assignments/jobs that I must complete. Sometimes I do, he will set me a task, like completing a piece of writing, or having a bath and a wank and sending him pictures of it. Sometimes there are even ongoing ones like, I want you to suck my cock every day this week, but we both seem to generally prefer an element of spontaneity when it comes to these things which why I think one of big agreed upon rules is that he gets to have what he wants when he wants.
It is a key part of our D/s dynamic that was originally proposed by me and one that I will regularly reiterate to him, often whilst trying to be distracting, because I love knowing that he gets to take whatever he wants whenever he wants regardless of what I am doing, where we are, etc. (clearly in the middle of the supermarket would be inappropriate but we both know that and I know that I can trust him to choose wisely for us both) When he wakes me in the night by pushing his cock into me and fucking me purely for his own release even though I probably won’t orgasm it doesn’t matter because it is a big turn on to me, just writing that sentence made me wet, and it feeds the part of my submission that gets off on being used.
We do though have a couple of other rules to our D/s relationship.
No shouting (on either persons part)
Never dismiss him with ‘whatever’
No leaving my hairbrush on the bed
Wear my collar everyday
Call him Sir
Of the few rules we have this is one that started right at the beginning of our relationship and continues to this day.
Before we even met in person we had discussed this topic long and hard and between us mulled over many different options but for me Sir was the one that I just naturally seemed to gravitate too and one that he enjoyed hearing and so we agreed that he would be Sir
That does not mean that I can’t or won’t refer to him as Michael. I often do in my writing here and when we are with other people I would nearly always use him name when talking about him. So I would say
as opposed to
but then in the same moment if I was addressing him directly I would nearly always use Sir.
eg, “would you like another drink Sir?”
Having just written that thought I immediately realised that actually his ‘title’ for want of a better word has also changed over the years because a lot of the time I tend to actually call him Mr Sir. Don’t ask me why, it just evolved into that and has stuck. We have discussed it and he is fine with it too, Sir or Mr Sir, both of them work.
However because I am me, which means I am easily distracted it is not uncommon for me to forget to use it. Sometimes he will let it slide but of late he has been of the opinion that I have been ‘forgetting’ on an all too regular basis and he may well be right about that. It is not a conscious decision to not use it mind you, but definitely a result of stress and lack of time to focus. That is not an excuse, merely an explanation, to myself as much as anything which resulted from him asking me recently if I thought that maybe I just didn’t want to call him Sir anymore.
The fact he even asked me that really shocked me. It made me realise just how important it is to be sure that everyday life is not eating your soul so much that you are ‘forgetting’ about the things that are important but also can seem small or insignificant when your mind is overwhelmed with other things. It made me realise that we need to both be aware that we do not always lose ourselves in work, parenting, worries and stress and forget to be Sir and Slutmine. (His name for me)
My initial reaction to the question though was not thoughtful and insightful but a knee jerk reaction of fear and sadness. Fear that he didn’t want that anymore and sadness that I had been just that crap that he had felt the need to ask.
Once he calmed me down and assured me he was not planning on leaving me nor did he not want me to call him that I spent a bit of time really thinking about his question and despite me saying my initial reaction was not very thoughtful in some ways it was insightful because when I examined my reaction I realised that it told me all I needed to know. Calling him Sir is what I want to do, not just because he likes, or desires it, but because I desire to do so. It is what he is to me. He is not just Sir either, he is MY Sir, my Mr Sir and even when I don’t say it aloud that does not mean it is because I don’t want to or don’t see him that way, far from it, I love my Mr Sir and I love being his Slutmine and just like the part of our relationship where he gets to take and use me as he desires calling him Sir feeds a core part of my submission and I can’t envisage that ever changing for me.