What actually is sexy? The answer to this is different for everyone. What I find sexy is not necessarily what you find sexy and even those things that we agree on the nuanced details of them will probably be different. We might both find older men sexy but what it actually is about older men, those little details that make it hot for us, will probably be similar and also very different at the same time. Sexy is such a subjective thing but what about when it comes to being sexy? It is much easier to talk about what we find sexy, the stuff that turns us on than it is to talk about how we are sexy. I am sure most of you can write a list of some description that covers those things, even if some of them make you blush and squirm or might even be ‘guilty secrets/pleasures’ that you are not comfortable talking about.
But what about writing a list of what makes you sexy. Not what makes you feel sexy but what is sexy about YOU?
I find myself sitting here really struggling with that. I can tell you that when I put on some great lingerie and high heels that makes me feel sexy. I can tell you that when I go to the gym and I can smell the scent of my body that makes me feel sexy. I can tell you that when I see the desire for me in his eyes I feel sexy, when I touch myself and my body responds I feel sexy but telling you what about me makes me sexy. I have no idea because me feeling sexy and me being sexy are two very different things.
I am sexy. That is a statement that I feel comfortable writing but it has taken me most of my adult life to get to that place where I can not only write those words but believe them but why I am sexy, well that is something that I am not sure I have the answer to apart from; I am sexy because I am me and most importantly of all because you are you. If you find me sexy then hurrah, and if you don’t, then that is OK too, just because I don’t tick your ‘sexy’ box does not mean I am not still sexy it just means that I am not what you find sexy.
I think what makes a person sexy is such an infinite thing that words are never going to be able to do it justice. It is so individual and utterly subjective that codifying it is impossible. What makes me sexy is the person that I am, all that I am, my personality, the way I look, how my brain works, my sexuality, my gender, etc but what really makes me sexy is finding someone who my particular brand of sexy works for. I am not sexy because he says I am sexy or because his belief that I am sexy transforms me into something sexy but my sexy does find its place in that person. Was I sexy when I was single? Yes, because I was me then just as I am me now but having someone who finds my sexy, sexy, makes me feel sexy and feeling sexy is the answer to ‘What makes me sexy?’