I am… (A Guest Post)

By on April 10, 2015.

I found this piece of writing on Fetlife and it really resonated with me. Yes I am a slut and although, unlike the author, I can not count the number of lovers I have had on one hand ( I would need way more than one set of hands) and have certainly had my promiscuous moments, I absolutely identify, not with the dictionary definition, but with the authors suggested alternative. I thought about writing a response to this piece about how this is such a great example of taking a label and defining it for yourself but for any readers who don’t have a fetlife account they would have been unable to see the original piece I was referencing and so I asked the author if she would like to come and be a guest on my blog. Happily she said yes and so today it is my great pleasure to share this piece by Accidental Flirt

The Definition of a Slut and Other Words By Accidental Flirt

Slut: n

1. chiefly British: a slovenly woman
2. a: a promiscuous woman; especially: prostitute
b: a saucy girl: minx

I am very sorry Merriam Webster, but I must disagree with your definition of a slut.

You see, I am one!! Yes, people, I think of myself as a slut…sometimes… and I am neither slovenly nor promiscuous.

I find it a tad unfair that British sluts are considered slovenly. I hail from Merry Old England and I am quite possibly the cleanest, tidiest, sweetest smelling slut ever to pleasure… well, anyone.

I’m not promiscuous. My views on sexuality are fairly liberal but I can count my number of sexual partners on the fingers of one hand… and remember, the thumb does not count as a finger.

I’m also pretty sure I’m not a prostitute… nope… definitely not. I’ve never got paid for sex… I’m very happy doing it for free. That’s why I don’t give blowjobs: Oh I go down, give head, provide oral pleasure, suck cock… but I don’t give “blowjobs.” Even when I’m being told exactly how to do it, it still ain’t work.

Okay, okay, I concede… I might be a saucy minx: The jury’s still out on that one.

So how am I a slut? I don’t fit the definition… and of course if it’s defined as such on the Internetz it must be true. Right?!!

Well… firstly, I like playing with words… you know… because words. I’m subversive like that. If I was a Domme in any way shape or form, I would take words, tie them up, and beat them until they bent to my will. We would have a whole new dictionary.

Only my dictionary would be a whole lot less judgey. The mainstream society might not be ready to embrace the slut, but surely a reference book listing words should be slightly less condescending and judgemental. A dictionary should define with no prejudice. Words were created to describe and narrate. They have no other purpose. It is up to the authors and storytellers to twist the vocabulary to their own deviant desires.

So here’s the definition of slut according to the Dictionary of AccidentalFlirt.™

Slut: n

1. A person who embraces their sexual self without shame or embarrassment.
2. A saucy girl: minx (cos let’s be honest here people.)

I’d also put in the Urban Dictionary definition:

Slut: A woman with the morals of a man (yes I realise that this is not pertinent to my article at all, but it made me giggle, so it deserves a place in my personal dictionary).

For years I had to hide my sexuality. All my life I believed that “nice girls” don’t do that sort of thing. I was always ashamed of my own desires. But no more.

When I call myself a slut, and I do this only in intimate situations with people I trust, I am expressing my sexual self. When I am in “slut mode” I feel completely liberated and free. When I moan “fuck me like a slut,” it is me coming out of hiding and saying “I want to share my sexuality with you… for you to feel my energy… to share myself completely with you… to enjoy each and every moment.”

I’m no longer ashamed of my desires. I embrace them.

For I am a slut.

Oh and PS: If I don’t want to be a slut with you, that doesn’t make me a prude.

I might be a slut. I’m a discerning slut. With standards.

©Accidental Flirt 2015

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Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker
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  1. I’m so happy I got to read this! It’s so playful and dead on right. It really resonates – particularly the part about feeling power in the word, while being a discerning, selective slut. Brilliant.

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