When I saw Rebel’s prompt this week, tears, it inspired a whole sea of thoughts and ideas in me but writing about a time that made me particularly sad or particularly emotional just didn’t feel right. I think we all know and understand tears in those contexts and so I have decided to try to share some thoughts on tears within the confines of our kink and sex life.
Tears although strongly associated with sadness, fear, pain and grief are still often seen as a release and for many a ‘good cry’ is something we can identify with. For me tears, when they come as a result of play, are just a powerful and extreme form of release, very similar to an orgasm in that sense. They leave me feeling very relaxed and blissed out, so much so that I nearly always need to, at the very least, take a nap but ideally, location and time permitting crash out and really sleep.
I know that hormones, stress, tiredness etc can play a part in whether the tears appear or not, although sometimes my body likes to surprise me and they will happen just because, well, just because they do I guess. When you body is flooded with adrenalin, your skin is alive with sensations, your heart racing, your breathing deep and rapid, your mind trying to process everything sometimes something as simple as “I am so proud of you my beautiful Slutmine” can be enough to push the button and you just let everything go. Every tiny little thing that you have been holding onto, you don’t even know what they all are, but they are inside you, all the stress, all the pain, all the worries and things you can’t even find words for are suddenly nothing, your focus is completely lost and yet at the same time sharpened, almost narrowed to an insular point. That moment is, for me, one of the most amazingly cathartic experiences ever and possibly one of the hardest one to give justice to with words.
When I was contemplating writing this I also got to thinking about how my tears work for Sir. For me, as I have tried to explain, they are an experience, an outward sign of a release of tension but for him, in the right circumstances they are a turn on, but why and how? Only he can answer that….
Molly asked me why I like to make her cry. Now before you get concerned, no, I don’t insult or berate or belittle her. This is only in the context of our play, if I made her cry outside of that I would be horrified.
It is the tears that come in the midst of a perfect session; those are the tears that I like. The tears do not usually come alone. They are often mixed with laughter, jumping around and another favorite, swearing, most often “go on then you bastard”. What this all means is that I have done things right. That I have slowly and carefully brought her to a place that brings her out of her shell. The shell that we all live in where we keep all the things that bother us every day bottled up. That I have broken through to her core and in doing so, let all of the demons out. It is not just in the context of BDSM that she comes to tears, an especially strong orgasm can do the very same thing. All of this, in my mind, is catharsis. And the fact that I can let that anger, rage, joy and all of her fears out… set her free of them… that is what turns me on.
When I was flicking through my photographs looking for something to go with this post I found this from a while ago and showed it to him.
“What do you think? Do I look just too snotty and puffy?”
After a brief glance at the shot he replied
“No, you look as sexy as hell. When you look like that it makes me want to pin you down and fuck you.”
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