I didn’t want a bouquet, I really didn’t. It wasn’t important to me. I had done all that nonsense first time round and look where that had got me. Getting married, this time anyway, wasn’t about a wedding it was about us. First time round it had been about flowers, cake, dresses and seating plans but for what? Because that is what you are meant to do. It is a diet fed to us by the media, a diet of consumerism and money, that romance means flowers and ribbons, big dresses and fancy receptions but it’s bullshit. It creates expectations that can never be met, it takes away from everyday life to create a fantasy world of Disney princesses and sparkle and glitter. Yes, maybe I am cynical about the whole wedding thing but I see so many people creating this amazing day and in the process they often seem to forget about tomorrow.
This August we will have been married 2 years. Just typing that makes me smile. There was a time when I thought it would never happen, that bureaucracy would keep us apart for ever and we would spend our lives longing for one another, staring into skype and living the torturous existence of seeing but not touching. I was wrong, in the end sheer guts and determination won over bureaucracy and one shiny fiancée visa was issued. I know many people thought we were mad to get married, my Mother included, after all the most time we had ever spent together in one consecutive period was 3 weeks. For many people the 2 years of long distance relationship didn’t count and I understand that I really do but they were wrong. If anything those 2 years taught us something incredibly powerful; that no matter what, that no matter how hard life is, or how annoying the other person is, being together is always better than being apart and every single day we are together is a blessing.
I can’t image a life without him. He is the air that I breathe. I am as addicted to him and as in love with him now as I have ever been. He is funny, smart, crazy, passionate, messy, challenging, spontaneous, annoying, romantic and so much more. He drives me nuts AND he makes me so happy; a happy I didn’t know it was possible to be. Nothing is ever perfect, no marriage or relationship because we are human and we have feelings and opinions and emotions and baggage and crazy little habits that make you want to scream but sometimes I believe that you find someone who fits your own special brand of crazy and when you do, then you can happily go forth and be crazy together.
You don’t need flowers and dresses to do that but sometimes you have friends who refuse to listen and you get them anyway.
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