Confidence – Guest Post For Pussy Pride

By on May 18, 2012.

18th May 2012

The recent one year anniversary celebration of the Pussy Pride Project has, I am delighted to say, renewed interest in this project and I have had a fair few enquiries from a variety of different people offering to write guest posts. As a result I have decided to set aside Fridays for this. If YOU would like to contribute to this project, either by writing something on your own blog or submitting a guest post then click on the Pussy Pride badge below to find out more.

This Friday I am delighted to welcome the wonderful Kerry Stott to Molly’s Daily Kiss. I meet Kerry on Twitter earlier this year, if I remember rightly our first conversation was about the London Eye. Before long she was inviting me to appear on her radio show and as is often the case with Twitter an acquaintance soon turned into a friendship and as they say the rest is history. Kerry is the author of Double Decker Bus; “a compelling account of  Kerry’s adventures with cancer” she is a funny, sassy, talented and intelligent lady and I am delighted to welcome her here to my blog and host her Pussy Pride…

 

Confidence

For the last few months all I have been doing is talking and researching about sex. No I am not some form of sex deprived loony. I was interviewing Molly and her husband for my radio show and not wanting to sound like a complete pillock on air or to do any form of low-budget, cheap reporting I felt that I needed to research my topic. Ok, I hold my hands up in the air, I found the researching interesting and stimulating and, most of the time, quite a lot of fun.

I talked to lots and lots of people, men and women, people who are into kink, people who are not. The women that I talked to had shared experiences of having some young idiot in their lives who had said something derogatory about their vagina; either the shape, smell, texture or flavour. The psychological scars of this are obvious. These women would tell me that they would feel ashamed, worried and anxious about their partner’s having oral sex or touching their pussies.  To listen to, I found this heart breaking that all of the women, bar none, all had this experience; and yes I do include myself in there too. I think this kind of sucks when I see the look of pride on my husbands’ face when I achieve climax.

However, when I was talking to the men during my research I was delighted to find that they absolutely loved their ladies vaginas. They loved licking and slurping and kissing and sucking and looking at them, studying them, loving them, inhaling their scent. What a difference time makes. Where had these dick heads gone that were so down about our pussies? So inexperienced in giving us pleasure? Had they actually matured?

I went away and had a bit of a think about it.  I am in my 30′s and I don’t suffer fools gladly.  There is every possibility with projects like the Pussy Pride Project that by talking about vaginas that they stop being this mysterious odd shaped thing that we have. Let’s face it, it is tucked away where we can’t easily see it. It is easily hidden and covered. The same cannot be said for penises, they are out there, always at hands so to speak. Being more confident in general about my body certainly does not invite idiotic statements from losers who think that it’s ok to put women and their lady bits down. In general I have found the men that I talked to, to be more interested in pleasing their partners, more curious in what makes them tick. They talked with pride when they were able to bring their partners to a climax, with confusion when it doesn’t happen but seeing it more as a challenge for the next time rather than a failure. They talked about how they liked to play with, fool around with, engage in games with, be creative with their partner’s vagina much to each other’s mutual delight. It is this relaxed creativity that makes me smile and proud to be associated with men who see their woman’s vagina as something beautiful.

So what about the women? I suspect more could be done to get them to embrace their vaginas. With age comes a sense of confidence. I would hope that younger women reading this, who are not so proud of their pussies, not so comfortable with them; that by exploring yourself and surrounding yourselves with men and women who treasure what we have as women, fun and confidence will come. I discovered through researching the show and talking openly with so many other women (and their partners) that by having a partner who loves our pussies, we in turn, become more curious, more accepting and more loving of our vaginas. From that, a good, strong healthy relationship happens between us and our cunts, we learn to respect them, tease them, play with them, enjoy them, say ‘No’ when we don’t want something. These idiotic boys melt away when you embrace the fact that we have something special and beautiful, right there in between our legs.

Kerry Stott

KerryStott.com

@kerrystott

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Molly Moore - Author, Blogger, Photographer, Speaker
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11 Comments

  1. I need to comment about the insensitivty about so many men – Many men are Pigs! I’m 56 years old and learned about giving sexual pleasure and love in the 1970s; a time when girls were still treated with respect and girls protected their virginity for that special guy.
    There were only a few women who tollerated being treated like young women oftoday. Back in the ‘dark ages of sex’ women and girls demanded and deserved respect, tollerence, and dare I say protection from the disrespect from others.
    When we were on a date, we almost asked permission to have a kiss, to cop a feel, and if the evening went well enough – some sexual activity.
    We didn’t call these young women, ‘Bitches, Cunts, or any other evil, mean, or nasty name!
    I guess I am just out of touch with reality; because I remember the ideals of the Peace and Love of the ‘Hippy Generation’. You know, I miss that feeling off inner peace.

    • This is an interesting comment and I am curious to see if others feel the same. The only thing I would point out is that I like being called a slut or dirty bitch etc… but that is within the loving confines of our relationship. These are labels that I am proud of, they are part of who I am not NOT all of who I am.

      I think the difference now is that woman are more able to define these labels for themselves and also be far more open about their desires and sexuality.

      Mollyxxx

      • Molly,
        You are probably right about this generation of women being able to ‘define these labels for themselves’.

        I wonder why so many younger men call their women, be they wife, significant other, or casual relationship such evil or mean or nasty names? To me and many other men and women of all age think these couples dislike each other because of such disrespect.

        In the bedroom or even their home is one thing, but in public it only shows the afore mentioned disrespect, a womans lack of self pride in herself, or dare I say mental illness…? So many people say their is an issue with young women and her self image.

        Does anyone think being called these names in public or even in a private setting for many years from boys and young men who are supposed to love them might have something to do her self image?

        Remember, these young women grew up being told they are wonderful, beautiful, and will make a wondereful man a terrific wife. They are probably told by their parents they will be loved and respected and even treated like you are on a pedistule.

        Then she meets a man, he calls her names, disrespects her, maybe abuses her while calling her these names. What is this young woman going to think of herself?
        I don’t understand.
        Respectfully,

        • Dear Dave…

          Abusive relationship and name calling has no place in a loving relationship that is for sure however I have to respectively disagree as I think woman in older generations put up with much more abusive behaviour than young woman of today’s world. It was certainly not unusual for woman of the 60′s and 70′ and the decades prior to that to live in domestic abuse for many years. Leaving your husband or standing up to this kid of behaviour was fairly frowned on and if you did decide to do something than there was certainly no one around to help you, no help agencies, no respite or safe haven centres unlike now.

          I also really hope that young girls and woman today are bought up being told they are beautiful, wonderful, intelligent and capable of being anything they want to be and that being someone’s wife is not the main goal in life. I hope with ALL my heart that my daughter has higher plans for her life than to make a good wife.

          Mollyxxx

  2. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the difference in slant. Yes I understand where you are coming from, and progress does not necessarily always seem like a step forward. I have had many conversations with women of your generation. I fear that they do not all share your sentiments. The respect that you talk about I agree, is often much needed and lacking in modern society. In turn there would be no such thing as the Pussy Pride Project, nor would there be an open dialogue between women, of various generations, about vaginas back in the 70′s.
    I understand where you are coming from but this generation is no worse or better than what has gone before or what will come in the future. I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you for reading the blog an taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me. Thank you x

  3. Hi Dave

    Thanks again for your comments. I fear that when we look back at our pasts, sometimes it is with rose tinted spectacles. I hear what you are saying about nasty name calling and I agree that there is a lack of respect, but no more than when I was growing up. I do also know that I would NEVER be able to do what I do as a mental health nurse, research nurse, writer, DJ, rugby coach AND be a wife and mother in the 70′s. I would never have fulfilled my potential in that era.

    The Pussy Pride Project and others like it, stand to enhance and discuss and talk about what it is to be a woman. Be that if you are at the top of your game and flying high or if you are being in an abusive relationship and downtrodden. Everyone is included. This would never have happened in the 70′s or if it did it would be underground and labelled as ‘Women’s Lib’ and be the idiom of the middle classes rather that it being women talking about being women.

    The point of my article is to highlight that there are idiots out there, there is no denying it, but that there are also good people too. That with age and confidence we are able, as women, to discern the wheat from the chaff.

    The 70′s was a great time but I also think that the 21st Century rocks too!

    Kerry x

  4. Hi Dave,

    I have read your comments on this article and while I respet your right to your opinion I simply couldnt disagree more. i feel there is more respet and freedom now than there has ever been as women now can openly choose how they wish to be treated as there is no longer the same stigma attached to walking away from a marriage or relationship in which there is abuse (mental, verbal or physical) i think that you are looking back at the past with nostalgia and a rosey glow that quite frankly it never possessed.

    Women today are proud of their sexuality and strength and it no longer frowned upon (in my circle anyway) for them to express this. having had many conversations with women of your generation and my Nana (who was a very forward thinking woman in the 1950s) what has always come accross is that they felt stifled by the ideal that their main ambition should be to beome a wife and mother, please dont misunderstand me those things are very worthwhile and ultimately rewarding IF that is what you want from life but there is so much more to the world if you want to go out there and take it and women today have the freedom to do just that, marriage and mother hood do not have to define you as a woman.

    Women dont HAVE to be treated in anyway that they are not happy with and I am proud that in this time there are many ways for them to escape bad relationships that simply never existed before.

    I have read your coments several times before responding and if I’m honest I believe you may have missed the point of Kerrys article, this project is about being Proud of everything that it means to be a women and I will whole heartedly support anything that encourages that sense of pride.

    I also do believe that young girls of today are brought up to think they are beuatiful, wonderful creatures that deserve to be worshipped and adored but the main difference is that they are now being taught that they can do this for themselves and don’t NEED a man to put them on a pedestal. Finding someone to share your life with and that can make your soul sing is a wonderful thing but in my opinion it would be morally wrong to let anyone thik that its they only ambition they should have in life.

    sorry that went on rather longer than I’d intended.

    Respectfully

    Kate

  5. Whilst reading the above comments i feel i have to wade in with my (not so humble) opinion. I have been married to my wife now for 5 yrs and been together for 12 i call her names but it is in context of the relationship and with pride she wears them. Quite rightly if i get it wrong she calls me out over it, I do try and shock her at times with what i call her but only between us and some choice close friends (as many don’t understand) There is a big difference in being wanted to be called names and not. she was in a relationship where she didn’t and was called names. We have a happy life together and we laugh a lot (mainly at each other) There is nothing in ANYTHING as long as it’s agreed and consentuial (sp?), it’s when it’s not that it becomes a major problem i feel.
    Steve

  6. Until the late 1980′s, the law in the UK didn’t believe of abuse within a marriage, there are many countries that are still like that in this day and age. Now, we have many outlets to help, when in an abusive relationship, many places a woman OR a man can got to for help.

    In the 70′s, women were held down by the so-called generation outlook of them (belong in the kitchen etc), now a woman is equal to her partner.

    There is no right for anyone in a relationship to be abusive, end of.

    If a couple have their quarks and it’s agreed, then so be it. But I do believe that men in this day and age lack respect for women, as they say ‘chivalry is dead’.

    As for women; I actually think in today’s world, even though our families tell us we’re beautiful, society with magazines, TV and films tell us otherwise. I was a toned size 12, 5ft10, beautiful but girls at school told me i was fat and ugly, I didn’t know back then not to listen to them, that they were most likely jealous. I have been held back by many people, until the last year because of what the ‘norm’ is supposed to be for a female.

    Now I stick both fingers up and say ‘F you’ to all those who knocked me down. Confidence comes from within and it’s taken my life to see that. Role on my 30′s/40′s and 50′s because I’m going to be celebrating me, as I truly am and not what social media predicts :)

    • MrsJoJo, I have to agreed with you totally I too was bullied at school being 5’8″ size 10/12, long legs, toned and generally good looking and got told similar to you ugly, lanky, snobby bitch.

      Now in the latter side of my 40′s two fingers up to those that “abused” me. I am sexual, no where near as slim but happy and enjoying life to the full.

      Who says that women shouldn’t be treated howsoever they wish to be, it is for them to decide in their own relationships, not what others may perceive from the outside looking in.

      ~Mia~ xx

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