5th December 2011
Home is where the tart is…
I’m always surprised to hear that many filth writers choose to write in public. Whether it’s the British Library, the pub or surrounded by old dears at the local coffee shop (the fave haunt of one Kay Jaybee of my faves who writes the sexiest kink I know).
You see, I get so turned on every time I write – whether it’s a story, a porn letter or a confession. Even just tapping the sentence, “she pulled up her dress and showed herself to him,” is enough to get my pussy springing into action. Any more and I feel like jumping on the nearest person.
When I first had to write erotica in front of other people, I thought I would combust. Or at least get escorted from the building for indecent exposure. It was when I was hired as a staff writer at the late, great Forum magazine. I sat at my desk pouring over a story of a hot, blonde, female estate agent shagging on of her clients. As colleagues from non sexy mags walked past I could feel myself blushing. I imagined the guys on top of me and the girls spread eagled before me.
I’m sure I spent more time putting things up me than relieving myself that first month. Every time I got up to stroll to the ladies, I try my best to look bored and not look like I was about to frig myself silly in the loos, I worried that I’d left a mark on the seat. Then I returned I’d worry that they’d suspect that the naughty thing I’d done. Could they smell the sex on me? I felt so unprofessional.
Going home on the tube from Old Street I knew no tube riders were safe. A man – any man – even a drunken pensioner – only need smile at me and I could feel my nipples protrude through my padded bra attempting to jump into his mouth. I felt like a perpetually wet, charged ion who radiated sexually. I was so horny it hurt.
Over time, I got used to dealing with phrases “throbbing cock,” “moist cunt” and “dirty star” without wanting to pounce on the head of accounts every time I saw him. Occasionally I’d feel it necessary to protect tube goers and have a quick fiddle in the loos of Old Street station before boarding the tube. I think I learnt to repress my insatiable need for smut. To some this may help the creative process, I felt like I was getting blasé.
That was until I started working from home. I soon realised that I could bang one out whenever, however and to whatever I felt like and, as long as I closed my windows and curtains, there was no one to stop me. I felt my writing got new life and my pussy was very happy.
Before a good old writing session I will collect together: a cup of tea, a bottle of Liquid Silk (the bestest, creamiest lube), a sample of amateur clips, my faithful vibe, and buzz away. Sometimes I’ll call up the boy so he can hear me frig, other times I’ll send him a pic of my juicy lips getting it. But whatever I do, I make sure I’m fully sated before I set foot outside the house. I think you’re all safer that way.
Pete and Sarah’s Guide To Seasonal Sex – your one stop shop for everything you want to know about seasonal adult activities. Packed with interviews from internationally renowned performers such as Dita Von Teese and Buck Angel, as well as winter themed erotic stories, and seasonal adult articles!
This is THE guide you need to read, whether you are a girl, a boy, or both! Written by former Forum magazine editor Sarah Berry, and world renowned erotic writer Peter Birch, with editing by erotic author Nicky Raven, this new quarterly seasonal adult guide is sure to enlighten, amaze and entertain you through the dark winter months.
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As an editor, journalist and spokesperson for the erotic realm, Sarah Berry’s wise words have graced such platforms as Radio Four’s Woman’s Hour, Bizarre, Diva, Scarlet, Fiesta and Forum (which she went on to edit). Famed for her reportage style, she has had the dishonour of crawling around a nursery as an adult baby, cycling naked past Big Ben wearing only a hat and tie and kicking men in the balls at a CBT class. Having overcome a sexual dysfunction called vaginismus, she also runs groups where women can get advice on, celebrate and even draw their own fannies – find out more at http://www.fanniesrule.com.