4th November 2011
Is it a woman thing, or just human nature in general to not be able to see what others see about you, both physically and also the person who you are? I think everyone has those moments of self-doubt, whether it be about their physical appearance or about their personality or their skills, the real problems are caused when we let those self doubts and negative views of ourself cripple us to such an extent that we are unable to achieve anything. I know in the past I have been very guilty of this, although I am not sure guilt is the right word, maybe more a victim of believing the subtle messages from people over the years that I was not capable of achieving anything other than cleaning the house and raising the kids, messages that I have now learnt to ignore. I don’t think that anymore, and haven’t for a long time now but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still have days when the feelings of self-doubt about my writing doesn’t eat at me to the extent that I just can’t get one word onto the screen.
Recently it has been a battle with time that has weighed me down and stopped me producing the work I so desperately want to do. When Sir and I were living apart our social life and time together was all online and so having time to write and do other things online too was much easier. Don’t get me wrong I would not go back to those days for ANYTHING, having him here with me is the best things that ever happened but like all of life it has set me a new series of challenges just unlike the ones that went with being apart these are challenges that can truly be faced together, side by side. They are not challenges that leave me lonely and sad and stretched to breaking point they are challenges that are helping to build us, and constantly drawing us together as a unit.
So why the picture? Does my bum look big in this? Well actually I think my bum looks pretty damn hot in this picture. Wow, I can’t believe I just wrote that. Just like self-doubt about my abilities and skills I often have a negative view about my body. It is far from perfect, I have had 2 children and if you look closely enough they have left their mark on me. Sir hates it when I am negative about my body but I think it is important to be self-aware enough of your assets so you can dress them well. Being blind to the bits that are not perfect is only going to lead you down the road to clothing choices from hell. Being aware of the bits that need covering up does not mean you hate your body just that you know that a certain style of dress, or cut of top does absolutely NOTHING for you. Picking clothes that flatter your assets and hide your debts is in my opinion vital to good dressing and knowing what works for you is a skill all in itself and one that I feel very confident about. So back to my bum. It is one of my best bits. It is firm but also fleshy, it has a nice shape and I know I am blessed with some great genetic bottom history because there is not an inch of cellulite anywhere. I like my bottom, there, I said it, a loud and proud positive bottom declaration.
Ps… Day 5 of the ‘post a picture everyday for a week task’ and I am soooooo on the ball with this!