8th April 2011
I am addicted to the shovel. I try so hard to leave it alone and ignore it, I know what I am meant to do but for some reason that is not what I usually end up doing. He seems to delight in my use of the shovel and will often let me dig away for far too long before pointing out to me what I am doing. By which time, it is too late for me to back pedal and I am usually in even more trouble that I was to begin with.
Do you know those moments? You are meant to smile sweetly and say ‘yes Sir’ or a version there of, depending on the circumstances, but if you are anything like me, you slip your boots on, grab the nearest verbal shovel and start digging. Surely if you talk enough, give enough explanation about why you did or said something, you will be able to dig yourself out of trouble, right? And so I dig and I dig and I dig, until either I suddenly realise that instead of digging my way out of trouble all I have done is dig myself a bloody great hole twice the size of the one I started with, or, even worse, he has point it out to me.
At this point I immediately abandon the verbal shovel and try to distance myself from it as much as possible by finally doing what I should have done in the first place, which was bite my lip and, depending on the circumstances, do one of the following
- Smile sweetly and say ‘Yes Sir’
- Confess all and admit to being naughty and say ‘sorry Sir’
- Be quiet and listen
So here are my tips to all subbies on how to avoid the shovel….
DO NOT try to talk your way out of a situation, misdemeanour, slip up etc
DO NOT say words like ‘hang on, let me explain’ or ‘no, it wasn’t like that’ or ‘you have got the wrong end of the stick’ and the worse one of all ‘but you never said EXACTLY that’
DO NOT allow yourself to be lured into using the shovel by other naughty subbies or Doms who encourage you to dig
DO NOT claim to know nothing about the situation, this will always come back to haunt you when are presented with evidence to the contrary
DO NOT expect your Dom/Domme to put the brakes on this behaviour, in my experience most of them love to watch a sub dig a massive great big hole for themselves.
And finally, there are times when it is worth trying your best ‘innocent face’ look BUT, approach this option with caution as if you get it wrong it can very quickly turn into shovelling and we all know where that leads to now, don’t we?
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Ps…If anyone would like my shovel, please do get in touch, I am desperate to get rid of it.